DAY 6 NC - He defriended me on Fb

I feel soooo sad for some reason, some help!

Almost a week after we ran into each other (well he waited for me at the traffic lights) and he told me had been seeing and sleeping with another girl (that night I took the "In Relationship" bit with him off) he has defriended me on FB.

Why do I feel such incredible sadness? Why do I cry over this guy still?

Funnily enough it's the same I had an interview for a company I have been wanting and dreaming of working with for about 7 years!! (He knew it was my dream)

They are interested in hiring me, and when I was having a good day, he does this.

Why why why... Someone help me, we had so much, such an intense relationship and he just goes and defriends me just like that?

lillymarch's picture

Shouldn't you be happy? Why aren't you jumping up and down and saying, Woo Hoo!!! It sounds like he's finally getting the point, which is, you are DONE with him! Really look at who he is. YOU DON'T WANT HIM. I think you've forgotten. Read your list of all the crazy and hurtful things he's done to you. For Corns Sake, he's sleeping with another woman!! Please don't forget how life is helping you. Your life wants him out!
ekat's picture

Mine blocked me just about at day 6 NC! I had posted on here at that point, because it upset me so much. But I must say, it has been just over a month NC now and it really helps not to have him on my FB. I would never have defriended him, but I must say, that while we were still FB friends, I was being very careful about what I posted. Him being off has allowed me to reconnect and joke around with friends again, without knowing he was watching. It's a good thing, I promise you. Be strong, Hugs, Ekat
dulcinea441's picture

Ahh, the facebook "defriend" maneuver. One of their favorite little games. You know what you do? You BLOCK him. That way, when he comes sniffing around your page again, you won't be there anymore! In other words, YOU get the last word on that little power struggle, poor narc.
Winter's picture

Ruby, of course it is not a sign of indifference! Would you defriend someone who you really do not care about? The very good part is that you no longer have an option of checking on him!
Used's picture

you cannot block someone who has blocked you, cos you cannot get to them...
dulcinea441's picture

I think she said he only defriended her...or did I misread? usually they don't block so they can keep tabs. My ex defriended me and I went and blocked him, just in case he ever decided to peek at my page to see if he could glean any info. It felt really good to know that if he ever tried that, he'd see he's been cut off completely. I highly recommend it!
Used's picture

Yes, you are correct, he defriended ruby....SO NOW RUBY CAN BLOCK HIM. My mistake....I like that you blocked your ex....I have blocked exn and his family...
RubyWoo's picture

Yeah he just defriended me, as long as I know (I can still see his profile) What a sad, sad end for a relationship...
empath's picture

Block him, so you can control this. He will no longer be able to see or even find your profile, and you will feel much calmer knowing that you can recover and move forward in peace without his snooping on your page. If you are having any doubts about doing this, know that it is reversible...although yu won't ever want to reverse it, once you do it. And once you've blocked him, he cannot block you.
blueworld's picture

does not have fakebook or profiles anymore too much temptation drama pain contact---------------------->
Anari's picture

Even though he took you off of friends list you can still 'win' by putting your profile on STRICT private features. SO when he looks at your profile from an alias account ( which he will) or through ( google if your profile is open) he will NOT be able to find you ever. ALSO he can choose to unblock you and add then reblock you at anytime. SO I suggest you go private so that he can NEVER find you. AND THEN this is how the ball is back in your court because even when he wants to silently hoover...your profile is NOT available. I'd also take myself off of everything on the web if possible.
Used's picture

you took his off the relationship, when you should have taken him off f/b, why didnt you block him when he told you about the g/f?......
RubyWoo's picture

I don't know, I guess I'm not ready yet. I thought for old times sake we could still keep it friendly. :( I don't know, I'm so hurt now. He really doesn't give a crap about me after 5 years living together and being each other's best friend for about 10 years...
aceonelady's picture

They do not even know what the word Friend means...My ex N told me ,who needs friends..is just more people that want something from you,is a waiste of my precious time...he always said BUDDYES...i hate that word buddy...is so Gay...aaarghh....Please Ruby we all need to stop to act like they are normal,they are not.He is just creating mayhem,conflict,he wants to hurt you,that's all they know.Hughs and let him go to hell.

Aceonelady

nomoredenial's picture

Hard as it is to accept..he doesnt give a crap about you. You are supply to him. I was married for 14 years and I see what you are going thru, that was the hardest part to accept. I thought just like you, we could keep it friendly...but I did not exist for him until he was dumped but the OW. He doesnt care.....only for himself...
RubyWoo's picture

That is the hardest part to accept I guess. He can just click a button and forget about me, just like that. On Thursday he was saying it was "the biggest mistake he ever made" and I was "the best woman he has ever met" Yeah well... quite easily you remove me from your life. So so painful. I just want to stop this pain and tears, it all sucks for me lately. I'm a good person I don't deserve all the crap that's happening to me in the last 6 months.
Done sourcing's picture

He didn't click a button and forget about you. He did something to hurt you, and it did. That makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Hurting you makes him happy. Can you see it now? Can we all see it now? This is the true reality! This is how it will always be! It is a disorder, and there is NO CURE. ds
Done sourcing's picture

I have to accept the same as I give. And the truth is the truth, and illusions must be uncovered for the truth within to be found. Staying attached to my fantasy kept me attached to a nightmare, a distorted dream that would never play out in real life here. Focused on the small aspect of my life obscured everything else...imagination, hopes for a happy life, possibilities, and the desire to love and be loved. So here is my truth.. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. Hurting me makes her happy. And hurting her keeps me sick! ds
RubyWoo's picture

So you think that he is doing it on purpose, hoping to cause pain? I always wonder whether they act just how they feel and don't realise it hurts people, or deliberately WANT to hurt. Maybe because he knew I had my interview today? (some friends were wishing me good luck on my wall thingy)
empath's picture

Don't give him the opportunity to hurt you again. Block him.
nomoredenial's picture

He feels like he is losing control and is trying to get it back, just see it as pathetic desperation on his part. or a good sign that you are coming out from under his spell after all its when we gain our power back that they try to get it....
RubyWoo's picture

But if he wanted to get my attention, wouldn't he be sucking up my arse, instead of moving further and further away from me?
Hunter's picture

Again, Master Manipulators.. They do what works.. That worked .. Who's crying? You! Hunter
nomoredenial's picture

They don't think like we do remember.....are you thinking about him now? Hes got your attention...he wins
Hunter's picture

The idealization stage that we loved so much .. Allows the whack job to get into your head.. For you to share your soul.. Then inch by inch they use that information to destroy you.. Now that's a thrill.. For a Psychopath that is.. Hunter
ekat's picture

I so agree with that Hunter. I told him so much about myself in the first months, and every little detail of my life was turned back against me later. I remember a few weeks into the relationship, he threw a fit because I was being secretive about some thing in my life. Not that I had anything to hide, but I don't like opening up so much so soon. Now I understand why this bothered him so much!
Hunter's picture

Weird ass.. First why r u still FB friends? You are your own worst enemy... This is a Hoover attempt.. And ...IT'S working.... Be proud of today.. He's a waste product!! Hunter
RubyWoo's picture

I don't know, I guess I wasn't there yet... I have written off any possibility of EVER having a relationship with this man, but I would have never defriended him because we shared a lot for many years. Is that a hoover attempt, really? Trying to get my attention somehow I guess?
dulcinea441's picture

He was never your friend, Ruby. His defriending you for the purpose of hurting you is just another example of his true colors showing through.
nomoredenial's picture

YOU shared a lot for many years..he took a lot for many years. Stop letting him take by refusing to give ANYTHING