Day 25 Christmas Day...

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#1 Dec 25 - 10PM
Maggster
Maggster's picture

Day 25 Christmas Day...

Today was day 25 of my 100 day No Contact as recommended by my therapist. My Christmas text arrived right before 6:00 AM...
Here it is-"I"m sorry but I couldn't let this day slip away without wishing you a most Merry Christmas. I hope this finds you well, that your heart is mending and that you are finding some peace. It's sadly ironic that today marks the end of our first quarter. Time has never passed so slowly. Regardless of what you have to say to me, I hope that you will pencil me in as your dinner date on march 10. I'd love to see you. I also want to wish you a happy new year. This is the first in 10 years that we haven't spend it together. You, caviar, champagne and Metheney. The perfect way to start a new year. I think we can agree that 2012 will be far better than this year has been. I miss you terribly. I miss your voice, your laughter, your face and tender body. I especially miss kissing you and our Sundays. If nothing else, this past month has reaffirmed my feelings for you and my singular commitment and devotion to you. Nobody can or ever will take your place in my heart. I love you. Enjoy the day and we'll talk on March 10. L,M....One more thought. Instead of a straight yes or no from you at the end of this, it has been suggested that perhaps you'd agree to getting back together, but would want to take it very slowly. Just a thought..."

I cried all day. BTW, not sure exactly what you know but he is married!

Please help me! I'm even more confused. Why did he contact me if he doesn't love me, why?

Dec 30 - 4AM
Jelickuk
Jelickuk's picture

We can look at the whys and

We can look at the whys and wherefores of what they do and say until the cows come home. I certainly have. But That just distracts us from the real issues. Why do we dislike ourselves and think so little of ourselves that we tolerate their lies and behaviour. I did everything in my marriage, everything and still thought he was better then me and was lucky to have him. He sneered and criticised and ignored for years...then he would throw me crumbs of I love you No more
Dec 30 - 4AM
Jelickuk
Jelickuk's picture

We can look at the whys and

We can look at the whys and wherefores of what they do and say until the cows come home. I certainly have. But That just distracts us from the real issues. Why do we dislike ourselves and think so little of ourselves that we tolerate their lies and behaviour. I did everything in my marriage, everything and still thought he was better then me and was lucky to have him. He sneered and criticised and ignored for years...then he would throw me crumbs of I love you No more
Dec 30 - 4AM
Jelickuk
Jelickuk's picture

We can look at the whys and

We can look at the whys and wherefores of what they do and say until the cows come home. I certainly have. But That just distracts us from the real issues. Why do we dislike ourselves and think so little of ourselves that we tolerate their lies and behaviour. I did everything in my marriage, everything and still thought he was better then me and was lucky to have him. He sneered and criticised and ignored for years...then he would throw me crumbs of I love you No more
Dec 28 - 5PM
bgirl
bgirl's picture

Read my story....and then

Read my story....and then run....xxxx. I had to walk away from my life because of a guy similar to this: 'you r amazing.....and I don't care what you say I have fallen deeply in love with you. Don't EVER question what we had/have B, I will NEVER question it....' Sound familiar at all? Also his wife didn't want to know. He can do whatever he wants and she'll take him back... You will be the bad guy when I know for a fact you r not sand I also know what u r going through.....it's called hell. !! PM me if u want to tlk XxxX Bgirl
Dec 28 - 4PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

I bet he told his wife the

I bet he told his wife the same thing.. If you like sloppy seconds ..call him.. Delete,Delete,Delete When enough is enough you'll stop crying. Hunter
Dec 27 - 9PM
juliamarie
juliamarie's picture

Gonna Pull a Hunter

Block his texts. End of story. He's married. Nothing positive will ever come from this.
Dec 27 - 10AM
spinning
spinning's picture

Maggs, change your number.

Forward the message to his wife. Seriously. He has a WIFE. Detach from this vampire. He knows exactly what he is doing. You will NEVER GET WHAT YOU LONG FOR FROM THIS GUY. He has a WIFE. He stays because it works for him. It's as simple as that. Please change your number so you won't have to read his "pretty words." Pretty words are a dime a dozen. What do his actions say. Here's what I see. His actions say HE'S STILL MARRIED. HE'S STILL TOSSING YOU CRUMBS. You MUST put the reality goggles on here, Maggs, if you are ever to be free. He is PRESUMING you're still in the loop, the "second fiddle" who will meet up with him in March. Please please stop being accessible to this married manipulator. If you must, tell him you'll see him just as soon as he gets out of his marriage. I can assure you you won't hear from him again. Do not let him ruin another moment of your life. He doesn't DESERVE THAT KIND OF POWER! Most sincerely, (not) spinning. IT'S A CHOICE AND I CHOOSE ME

spinning

Dec 26 - 2AM
nomoredenial
nomoredenial's picture

ugghh

Mine is also on a hoover manuever...I could change the words around a little and we'd have the same thing going on which just means that they attend the same school for N's and we are being set up. They dont love us, never did. He is trying to get you in a trianulation if he is married. Now you are a mess and I bet hes staring at porn, his wife, who the hell knows. These guys are strange, and really I think they do go to a n school because what they say is not original
Dec 26 - 1AM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

BECAUSE HE CAN. AND HE WANTS

BECAUSE HE CAN. AND HE WANTS TO GET ATTENTION FROM YOU. AND IT COSTS HIM NOTHING. AND HE LIKES THE POWER IT GIVES HIM. How about not telling him that every time he contacts you you will add 15 days to the 100. How about how he doesn't respect your request to be left alone. How about this can all be explained by the fact that he is a Narcissist with a personality disorder. What is the only way to handle a person with NPD? ds
Dec 26 - 1AM
NarcJunkie
NarcJunkie's picture

Wow, that is a really bad hoover

so sorry for you... I'd be a mess as well in your situation. :( He must be low on supply - that text is full of triggers designed to get you to contact him and give him what he wants. I don't know your story so I can't say much more to that. But basically this is a very elaborate Narc attack. He still wants your supply. You know better than anyone else what he has done to you and why you're here. He hasn't suddenly miraculously changed his character, that much is for sure. He wants something from you. He doesn't want to GIVE anything to you, he wants to pull you back in so he can TAKE some more. Don't fall for it. Don't dwell on the good memories - remind yourself of what he did to you, what he's really like and why you don't want that in your life anymore. Stay NC and stay strong! ((HUGS)) NJ
Dec 25 - 11PM
walking_on_sunshine
walking_on_sunshine's picture

Hi mags , Not judgeing I

Hi mags , Not judgeing I promise, because I know how these N's work and they are fabulous at manipulation. I am curious to know though how did you end up with him? Did you know he was married? If you feel comfortable sharing ofcourse, but if not I understand. You are doing the right things by removing yourself from this, I hope you can stay strong enough to stay away because mags this isn't worth it.
Dec 29 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture

I would be willing to bet his

I would be willing to bet his wife is ignoring his crazymaking behavior and he is searching for some NS, anywhere else. Don't fall for it. Sweetie, you are worth more than 1/2 a man. He ain't that special, look at how he treats the people he SAYS he loves. I was married to exnarc and I still felt like a side dish. I have made a promise to myself--once someone treats me as a side dish, it may hurt but they will be gone! It's better to hurt once than to hurt a million times. xoxo