Day 2 NC and struggling

I'm on day two of my NC, I left my narc 3 days ago and am fighting the urge to contact him. My ex is a serial cheater, liar and all around shitty person.

I left when I felt a D&D coming on and was just so tired of his charade and games.

I had him blocked on FB as well as my iPhone but I find myself unblocking him from my phone for short periods of time just to see if something would come through. Even though I'm confident that he hasn't tried to reach out to me.......yet.

I'm sure my leaving has hurt his "pride" and he is waiting for me to contact him so he can play his game of hard to get. I know he doesn't have his kids tonight so I'm sure that he is with another woman. I guess I want to make contact so I can maybe believe he is not with someone else and I don't have to sit here wondering and picturing his every movement with someone else.

I want a happy life and will never have one with him and I know that. I feel like my minds been manipulated to believe my worth and self value all are in his narc world. What I'm worth to him at the time is how I've felt about myself.

Going to hide my phone from myself. I need support!