Crazy Email - for your enjoyment

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#1 Sep 30 - 2PM

BAW

Crazy Email - for your enjoyment

So after almost 5 months of blessed blessed NC, I finally got an email from my crazy narc ex-husband. Thought I'd post it here for everyone's enjoyment. I always found it helpful to read other posters' narc emails and see the similarity - it helped me recognize the crazy. Please note how he is approving of my new bf and how somehow it's all because of him that it happened. Sigh.

No worries - I am in no way contacting him back. I have no need of this in my life anymore!! :)

"Hi, its been a long time. I miss you. I felt I had to write, just this once.

I must first mention that a day has not come where I don't think of you for an hour or more. It would be impossible to impart the depth of regret that I now cope with, for driving you so entirely from my life.

You and (new boyfriend) seem to be in love, as I'd hoped. When two caring people spend time together in an environment of emotional support, it can be like alchemy. I support your relationship with (new boyfriend) and I hope it has brought you undreamed-of happiness. At the same time, it is frustrating to understand that there is deep unhappiness permeating this alls-well-that-ends-well event.

Consider this email an olive branch. An amicable resolution is what I have yearned for, for over a year. I wish you could be a figure in my life, yet I know this is not possible unless you discover it could be enriching for you. If isolation from my existence remains your healthy path, I will continue to support that by minimizing contact with you and the old circle.

It is an endurance test for me to support this need, because my great desire is to write, chat, or call you daily. Not write to gush my feelings at you, but, often, just to reflect with you about some movie, news item, or fanciful thought. I continue to care.

I'd love to inflate this email with a thousand reasons for keeping a place for each other in some part of our hearts, but I'll spare you that epic. If you choose to ignore, I'll understand, and take it as an affirmation of non-contact.

love always,
psycho crazy narc"

#2 Oct 1 - 10AM

BAW

Thanks guys for all the NC

Thanks guys for all the NC congrats - it feels soooo good not to be talking to this weirdo! Its amazing how once you're away from them long enough, and realize they are insane, all the BS in these emails etc are so easy to see through.

#3 Oct 1 - 2AM

Mariline

What a perfect email. I

What a perfect email. I would have fallen for it. What a shame they are only words. Words, words, words.

#4 Oct 1 - 1AM

kiwi10

so...

i have a question... are narcs more charming than psychopaths and more likely to feed you this bullshit? my x i'm pretty sure is a psychopath and could never come up with this shit.. i honestly think it would be too much effort for him. anyway, good job staying NC

#5 Oct 1 - 1PM (Reply to #19)

gettinbetter

Fierflie

I know that part of you wishes that you would get what appears to be a heartfelt email full of all the emotional feel good lines. They are still LIES! Only it makes it even harder to break free from them. The words make you feel so good but there is nothing behind them. There is no substance there. Their words never match their actions and it makes theCognitive Disonance worse. Mine fills my head with I lovesyous and I want to make a life together yet his actions never show it. Actually I wish mine was just a non stop A hole that would refuse to say I love you. They Are easier to hate that way

#6 Oct 1 - 1PM (Reply to #20)

Scoop

sick of it

You know what was hard with my narc , most of the time his words where horrible but his actions where loving , it played with my mind for a long time .. things like he would tell me he didnt love me and "what are you still doing here " but he would cuddle me all night and make me breakfast in bed and plead for me not to go in the morning ... the most reasent hover apart form the face book thing yesterday was "let me do work on youre boat , lets go out and have dinner blah blah " but asked for any acounterbility of what he did to me ,, nothing .. Such a mind fu*k . xx

#7 Oct 1 - 4AM (Reply to #18)

helldweller

Fierflie

My narc could not come up with that sh*t either. Not in a million years. If he wrote me a letter like that I would be like one of those cartoon characters with the stars in their eyes.

#8 Oct 1 - 3AM (Reply to #17)

girlfriday

no

Narcs are not necessarily more charming than psychopaths. Psychopaths can be EXTREMELY charming and charismatic. I think it just depends on the particular person's modus operandi. My ex P is ridiculously charming in an atypical way.

#9 Oct 1 - 12AM

better off

LOL!!

Wow. That is priceless. Is he holding a big white lily on his chest?

#10 Sep 30 - 4PM

Scoop

Oh my good god .. this is

Oh my good god .. this is such a trigger for me but in a good way , i can just here my wank stain late narc saying this shit .. and as for the way you say he thinks he had some hand in this .. that it was his plan all along that you should meet a man who was blah blah blah well pass me the sick bucket ...

#11 Sep 30 - 3PM

mystwoman

BAW, Thank you for posting.

BAW, Thank you for posting. You are right that reading other's emails is always helpful. One of the repeated things that I see in this email is the comments that "supports" you and your bf, and he "supports" your not wanting him in your life. This sounds so like my xnh. What a massive ego!! Who is he to think that HE supports you in anything? The truth is that you're moving on with your life, and HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A VOTE...much less "support" you. What he thinks or wants amounts to less than NOTHING. lol. Concerning the paragraph "Consider this email an olive branch. An amicable resolution is what I have yearned for, for over a year. I wish you could be a figure in my life, yet I know this is not possible unless you discover it could be enriching for you. If isolation from my existence remains your healthy path, I will continue to support that by minimizing contact with you and the old circle." The translation (as I see it) is: I'm upset that I haven't been able to contact you for over a year and know you can't stand me, so here's this email to see if you will cave yet. I know you don't want contact with me because I will suck you dry and I'm not healthy for you. However, I will act magnanimous and say that I "support" you because I really don't have a vote anyway (and I wouldn't have to actually to do anything by saying this). However, I'd like to hang out in the old circle tormenting you again, and acting like I did nothing to drive you away. Then I could still pretend that I'm a good guy in front of everyone else. His comment, "It is an endurance test for me to support this need, because my great desire is to write, chat, or call you daily." is b.s. as well. It translates as: "I'm not getting my way, and I can't just ruin your happiness whenever I wish. You won't have any contact with me, and it bugs me that I'm not in control." If you were to respond, he would promptly devalue you again, and cause you more pain. He doesn't miss anything but the ability to control you. Like I said above, this is so similar to my xnh and his tactics. Right down to the "I continue to care" comment. My xnh has said this several times to me. I take it from him as, "I don't love you and I treated you like crap...but I'll say 'I care' so that I can act like I'm a 'nice, loving guy' and not the jerk that I really am." IMO, your N is making a hoover attempt via email. However judging from your comments, I assume that you were already aware of his motivation. Any way that's my two cents for whatever it's worth. lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#12 Sep 30 - 3PM (Reply to #12)

BAW

What's really great about

What's really great about this: "I will continue to support that by minimizing contact with you and the old circle." No one from the "old circle" wants to talk to him. They're all my friends and have refused any contact with him since his affair and subsequent kicking out. He's just so magnanimous, huh? ;)

#13 Sep 30 - 4PM (Reply to #13)

mystwoman

Oh yea! Narcs are just SO

Oh yea! Narcs are just SO noble, aren't they? lol. My xnh turns stuff like this around on a regular basis. It is absolutely mind boggling how someone no wants to be near can manage to twist it into THEM "supporting" you by not being where they're not welcome. Face it, bras "support". N's just pretend. Personally, I'd rather take the bra. It actually has a function, and sometimes you actually want one around. lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#14 Sep 30 - 3PM

ShaynasMommy

and

" At the same time, it is frustrating to understand that there is deep unhappiness permeating this alls-well-that-ends-well event." WTF??? Get used to the unhappiness and frustration, asshole. This one made me snort my water.

#15 Sep 30 - 3PM

ShaynasMommy

I love it

You'd better realize how enriched your life could be with this guy, I guess.....NOT! O.M.G. Serious reality disconnect. Yes, you were so enriched by this ass-clown that you had to ditch him. again, OMG.

#16 Sep 30 - 3PM

Alive

for

an hour or more? that means 60 mins you were thought off not to write or gush my feelings?- You dont have feelings Narc so thats true. \please do spare us with the epic-nut job! Me'me'me'me'me'me'me' this is all about ME.lol

#17 Sep 30 - 2PM

wholeagain

Sounds

soooo familiar! I understand that there's a letter from the ex in my P.O. Box (a story for some other time about how I know this) and I'll bet it's almost identical. This line says it all though doesn't it? >>I wish you could be a figure in my life

#18 Sep 30 - 2PM

My favorite line is....

"If isolation from my existence remains your healthy path, I will continue to support that by minimizing contact with you and the old circle." Isolation from my existence?? Wow. How self-absorbed can he be?? Sounds just like mine. Still giving orders--- mine set an email saying he is upset that our daughter is eating the hot lunches provided by the school. At least you have his "affirmation of no contact".

#19 Sep 30 - 3PM (Reply to #4)

ShaynasMommy

maybe,

"At least you have his "affirmation of no contact". For now, anyways, until he realizes you aren't gonna respond. then he'll go back on that too.

#20 Sep 30 - 3PM (Reply to #6)

Alive

yes for now!

I told mine not to text, any requests then email me, as i was giving him my email addr he started to talk over me! lol and what did he do tonight? texted me! he KNOWS the arrangements this weekend, they just can't help themselves. But hey ho i am leaving the narc boy to himself! (sorry this is my quote for the mo! its helping with my anger)

#21 Sep 30 - 3PM (Reply to #5)

wholeagain

Good gawd

I can't how many times I heard "this is the last you'll hear from me". Heh--is that a promise or a threat buddy?

#22 Sep 30 - 3PM (Reply to #2)

Alive

mine

loves to give orders aswell! text from him- 'please do not give ****** dinner as i am taking her out for a blah blah blahblahblahxx control freak lol

#23 Oct 1 - 2PM (Reply to #3)

itreallyisabouthim

He is a master! Here, kitty,

He is a master! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!!!!! Congratulations on remaining NC.

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