Covert Narcissist

Hey everybody! I am new here and getting a lot out of people's stories and experiences. I was married to a covert narcissist for 27 years and have just recently realized that he is one. I won't get into the whole story right now but my particular narcissist is in a powerful public position, and so the path he takes is one of covert narcissism. He isn't as blatant and obvious as some and so it really messes with my brain. His need to have a completely polished, untouchable public image keeps anyone from being able to see him as a complete narcissist. He treats me like a queen if anyone is around, or if anyone comes over to the house. At home we all have had to walk on eggshells for years because of extreme selfishness, rages, and emotional abuse...even the children. To keep up his image as model husband and father he showers us with presents and gives us all the money we could ask for, yet WE know that those "gifts" and support come with horrible strings attached. We now "owe" him and in his mind, because he is such a "good" and "generous" person we should sweep his cruelty under the rug. Have any of you guys dealt with a covert narcissist or had any experience with one?