Could they give us heart attacks or strokes? The stress keeps me away from him

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#1 Apr 4 - 8PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Could they give us heart attacks or strokes? The stress keeps me away from him

The other night I was at the gym and I was thinking about the narc and I was SO anxious about everything, obsessing and blaming myself and you all know what I mean. I then got a tight chest and palpitaions, which has happened many times before from the the stress I felt surrounding him and my fears of him, the intense, searing pain of his abandonment of me, the stabbing pain of the reality of his cruelty and his true criminality and psychopathy, and I thought, "HOLY SHIT - this guy is going to give me a heart attack - G-d forbid!". I really knew though that it could happen, and it scared the freaking lights out of me. Another reason to really stay away from him and anyone like him and to try not to dwell on it all.

Any thoughts?

Apr 6 - 4AM
shyloh
shyloh's picture

yes I believe the toxicity of

yes I believe the toxicity of these relationships can affect our health. Like my friend said to me when I wanted to get back-" If you had a cancerous tumor cut out of you, would you want to put it back in you?". I had a blood disorder when I was with ExN and a weird auto immune thing on my tongue-3 years out of living with him and it is cleared up. here is to our mental and physical health xoxox
Apr 5 - 9AM
spinning
spinning's picture

PG, here's something

to consider. I've been five months NC. When I was with the disordered one, I was sick every two to three months. Ill enough to call in sick to work, which is not like the "me" I used to know. The disordered one D & D'd me in the middle of my parent's illness and subsequent death. Despite the tremendous stress of that, (the downturn of the parent's illness began in Sept.) and the stress of keeping my job, living on my own, keeping up with my house, and burying my parent, I have NOT BEEN SICK once. This is AMAZING TO ME, and SO TELLING. The disordered one was TOXIC POISON. Even though mentally and emotionally I still have a ways to go, physically he is no longer making me ill every few weeks. That's HUGE!! sincerely (still trying hard to stop) spinning

spinning

Apr 5 - 6AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Absolutely

Stress is one of the biggest contributing factors to disease. Woman in traumatic relationships are notoriously at a much greater risk for all types of disease and adverse conditions. All you have to do is look in the eyes on the face of an abused woman and you can see the sadness, stress, and discomfort there. Yes, these relationships are health hazards. God bless, Goldie Is Your Abusive Relationship Responsible for Your Illness? Email Written by barbarany_9 on Feb-17-09 2:30am From: abusesanctuary.blogspot.com by Sandra Brown, MA Many women don't know that ongoing stress (recognized or not) leads to very predictable medical conditions. Our mental state is our physical state so women with the worst health issues are often women with the worst emotional stressors. Women who were raised in addicted, mentally ill, abusive, or pathological families often have the most severe and lingering of medical symptoms and diseases. One reason is that they have an accumulative effect of stress-related disorders because of the length of time they have been 'stressed.' Since many women who were in disordered families go on to pick disordered men, their stress simply rolls over into the next relationship. Or, if she is able to avoid the disordered intimate relationship, her previous exposure to the disordered family or resulting stress may go untreated. In those cases, the stress is still stored in the body. We now know that stress has to go somewhere. It goes into your body as deep as the cellular level as well into your muscles and tissues. This type of stress storage can result in diseases that effect the muscles and tissues like MS, Lupus, Fibromyalgia and CFIDS. Stress attacks the immune system and renders it ineffective. This can result in diseases like Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome, Epstein-Barr Syndrome and other auto-immune disorders like Lupus and Fibromyalgia that end up moving from the immune system to the muscles and tissues. (Ever say 'He's wearing me out?' He literally is!) Stress negatively effects blood pressure -- high blood pressure can lead to strokes, heart disease, and other long term diseases. (Ever say, 'He's killing me?') Stress floods the body with cortisol that produces too much adrenaline in the body causing irritability, sleep disruptions, and fight/ flight symptoms. Cortisol effects metabolism which produces weight loss or weight gain especially in the stomach area and blood sugar instability which can lead to hypoglycemia, insulin resistance or diabetes. (Ever say 'I just feel like I want to jump out of my skin'?) Stress negatively effects hormones causing chronic menstrual problems, endometriosis, early menopause, PMS, and other female related disorders. Stress causes inflammation in the body which we now know is the beginning of most disease processes. This can lead to arthritis and other inflammation-based diseases. Stress causes tension which can be held almost anywhere in the body. This effects the skeletal system resulting in back or neck pain requiring chiropractic adjustments. Sometimes it's stored in the face that produces TMJ or migraines. (Ever say, 'He's such a pain!'?) Stress causes the release of gastric juices which inflame the throat, stomach and colon resulting in digestive disorders like Irritable Bowel Syndrome. (Ever say he was a 'pain in your butt'?) Stress negatively effects certain vitamins in your body which get depleted during ongoing stress which can result in severe fatigue, hair loss, allergies, and skin problems. (Ever say 'he really gets under my skin?') Stress screams to be managed which is why so many women end up with addictions trying to 'manage' the chronic stress condition -- addictions with anxiety medication, pain meds, street drugs, alcohol, food, sex, religion and overachieving. (Ever say 'he is going to drive me to drink?') Over the past 20 years of treating women, I've seen everyone of these disease processes at work in women. PATHOLOGICAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE A LEADING NEGATIVE CAUSE IN WOMEN'S HEALTH ISSUES ON EVERY LEVEL! If we want to improve women's health in this country, we need to address these pathological relationships that are killing her! Stress hides because we are adaptive in some ways and become 'use to' the level of stress we are currently under OR have ALWAYS been under since childhood. But that doesn't mean we aren't highly damaging our bodies with it. Some women only become aware of their stress if it jumps markedly. By then, you are in the severe category of stress disorders which by that point, you probably have several of the conditions listed above. By far, the condition of the 21st century for most people is stress. Women with histories of abuse or current pathological relationships have even higher stress levels than people without these contributing factors. Stress demands to be treated and then managed... either do it now or it will demand it in medical issues. Many women say they don't even know where to begin in managing the stress that is contributing to their medical conditions because they have had it so long. Consider physical exercise, yoga, Pilates, some way of metabolizing all those stress hormones. Learn deep breathing, relaxation techniques, or quiet meditation. Find a counselor or a group in order to verbally express the underlying issues of your stress. Manage addictions of sex, relationship-hopping, drugs, even prescriptions and alcohol. When assessing your overall health, do consider the underlying possible reasons for your health issues -- your emotional stressors and HIM! SOURCE
Apr 6 - 6AM (Reply to #23)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Yes!

I have pictures on my FB page where you can see the absolute sadness and discomfort. My eyes almost have a hollow look to them. Those pics scare. Oh and btw I have started to retain alot of fluid lately which scares the hell out of me. I have hives and boils it just goes on and on. I think the bomb he dropped on me last week may have saved my life.
Apr 5 - 7AM (Reply to #15)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Goldie

Thank you! They are not worth our lives!! These are no joke illnesses that they can cause....even death.
Apr 5 - 8AM (Reply to #20)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

happy1

that's what I think too...death is very likely if we don't get away.
Apr 5 - 9AM (Reply to #21)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

patience

I truly believe that. I don't think we realize the strain our body is under with the intense stress and depression we feel. It's better for health to continue our struggle of staying away
Apr 5 - 9AM (Reply to #22)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Yes happy

I agree completely. We cannot take these chances with our health. He wants to smoke three packs a day, drink all night and fuck every woman in town with no condom...let him is what I say. I hope he kills himself.
Apr 5 - 7AM (Reply to #16)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Yes stress and anxiety

Cause us to literally begin to breakdown, mentally, physically, and spiritually. How are you doing today? My thoughts and prayers are with you. Not easy is it hon? You're doing good though, this is the hard part. Message me anytime, I'll be in and out today. Much love, Goldie
Apr 5 - 7AM (Reply to #17)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Goldie

Thanks so much! I'm trying really hard...it's all I can do. Today is his birthday and the thoughts are flooding me. I won't contact though. It's just a painful day. I appreciate your support very much! Thanks! Happy1
Apr 5 - 9AM (Reply to #18)
Alisa
Alisa's picture

Hang in there! I know how

Hang in there! I know how hard it is, but you can make it!
Apr 5 - 9AM (Reply to #19)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Thanks Alisa! It helps to be

Thanks Alisa! It helps to be on here with you guys! 8-)
Apr 5 - 6AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Yes, I read the stress of the

Yes, I read the stress of the narc can actually cause all kinds of health problems. It's hard to believe but true.
Apr 5 - 6AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

i had

real bad anxiety and never use to have that, plus I am convinced my blood pressure got worse, thanks to him ,no sense of calmness or stability. living walking on landmnies as well as eggshells!
Apr 5 - 4AM
dudette
dudette's picture

PTSD

yes I have complex PTSD, severe depression and acute anxiety... Panic attacks are daily and resistant to beta blockers, everything still triggers me Sometimes I carry a flu like feeling around for week. I also have severe adrenal fatigue so swollen throat and feel broken all over....I did an HIV test I was getting worried... It's all down to the narc. However, I will never be beaten, particularly at work.... I have managed to keep all this a secret (apart from a couple of people)... mornings are a torture to put my face on and keep it there all day until work is over.... All down to the narc. you fewel like you are dying sometimes, you feel ill as you have never felt before..... However, we will win this
Apr 5 - 3AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Panic attacks feel like you

Panic attacks feel like you are having a heart attact but god forbid if you ever really did have a heart attack (still pretty rair for women in their 40 s:) ) you would know the feeling is very diffrent . there is no doubt that panic and stress is a symptom of ptsd , the body can take alot of stress before it starts having major effects on youre health and stress dosnt alone bring on heart attacts in young women it would most likely be a congental abnormality coupled with being hugely over weight (not just 20 pounds over weight :) ) drugs of cronic alcohol abuse (not a couple of glasses of wine in the evening :) im talking hard liqure every day for 20 years kind of abuse ) The heart pounding and palpitations is anoying after a while and you could get some kind of med to slow the heart down if youre blood pressure is a bit high (i trained as a nurse ,a long time ago ,so i do know im a bit rusty on things but in genral if you are in good health youre not going to drop dead from a stroke etc anytime soon ) Short term meds are a god send in theses times if you feel you need them and they can help with the stress , excersise is the best thing you can do as well , seriously it is what got me through , i swam and rode my bike like a mad woman round town .. i did bike riding shopping where i would ride my bike to the shop and browse form the window and if there was something i likes i would get off my bike and if there was something i didnt i would ride to the next shop . It really is what ever gets you through the early months as you are traumatised and trauma can feel horrible ... Scoop
Apr 5 - 8AM (Reply to #9)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Scoop you are not right about heart disease rare in 40's

Scoop I have had anxiety disorder since I was 23...severe anxiety disorder. I know palpitations can be harmeless. And, I know they can also sometimes by arrythmias as happened to a very close of friend of mine who was in his 40's and had NO heart illness or in his family anywhere, but was stressed at work that he developed an arrythmia and one day at the pool had eight heart attacks in a row. He is alive with 25% use of his heart. My grandmother had a massive heart attack at 45 and another at 48. Heart disease is the leading killer among women and no one seems to know that. Is this scaring everyone? GOOD.
Apr 5 - 2PM (Reply to #10)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Im sorry for youre friend

Im sorry for youre friend that is a terrible thing to happen , i think my point was and i didnt put it very well was statistically speaking heart attacks in women in their 40s are rare but of course happen , my goodess they do , its important to recognise that a panic attack can feel like something majorly wrong is going down but if you are healthy the probability of it being somthing serious is slim . What i found with my own panic attacks was i became fixsated on my body because i was so scared of having another one every twinge i had or pain would be highlighted into a life threating thing because i was still hypervigilant with my PTSD and i was in "expect the worst " mode and things that before i wouldnt proberly even notice became an issue . I dont want to down play the fact that being a narc is bad for youre health thats a given .. big love Scoop xx
Apr 5 - 12AM
broken23
broken23's picture

For Sure!!

I experienced serious anxiety, chest tightnes, fatigue, dizziness, high fevers surrounding narc's ridiculous and shady behavior. I could not walk after my D/D. My legs would cave in. It was horrible. Per web md, In addition to your mental health, your physical health suffers from emotional abuse. Stress has dramatic effects on your heart. Stress worsens high blood pressure, abnormal heartbeat and hardening of the arteries. Your emotional abuser's tirades can even cause a heart attack. Abuse also impacts your immune system and your digestive system. Check out this article - stress breaks hearts http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20070920/stress-breaks-hearts My health is one of the biggest reasons why i stay away. Not worth my life
Apr 5 - 12AM (Reply to #7)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Right on baby!!

Right on baby!!
Apr 4 - 9PM
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Stress

YES! I think the stress they put us under could cause a heart attack, stroke or hundreds of other physically ailments! I've been sick with something for 3 years! (I met the Narc 3 years ago) I've had surgeries, tests, hundreds of doctor visits, thousands of dollars in meds and doctor bills! YES! They can make you sick! I had a panic attack one day at work over something my Narc did and I thought I was having a heart attack! It scared me to death. These sick idiots not only ripe us apart emotionally they make us physically sick too! I hope that doesn't happen anymore. The longer you are away from them the better you will feel physically!
Apr 4 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Sara

thank you - it does make you anxious beyone belief...in particular, the discarding and the grief of their departure. Some people die of "broken" hearts when a loved one dies or divorces them...to me this is no different but made worse by the nature of the relationship as it was when together with them.
Apr 4 - 8PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Enduring the kind of stress

Enduring the kind of stress that they put on us for extended amounts of time can manifest all kinds of illness. Our bodies are not designed to be under this kind of attack constantly. I have suffered all kinds of illnesses. Hives, Boils, Yeast infections and lately I have started retain alot of fluid which I have no idea what that is even about. Thats why I know I need some professional help. I have felt at times that I was slowly dying. I cant afford just to sit around and let this get better on its own. I have got to take an active part in healing myself. I am afraid if I dont that I am soon gonna manifest a serious illness
Apr 4 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

It's basically imperative to get away if we want to live

Yeah...I think it's actually extremely deadly and serious, these relationships. Nothing short of death. And I have two little boys who are my life. I owe it to them.
Apr 4 - 8PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

And I'm almost 45...not a

And I'm almost 45...not a joke for any of us at this age is it.