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Contact after years of NC

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#1 Nov 27 - 8PM
Carole
Carole's picture

Contact after years of NC

Hello dear girls,

My name is Carole and I managed to tear my heart and soul loose from a very refined (officially diagnosed) N about two and a half years ago. Afterwards he kept stalking me for nearly one year.

He is involved with another woman for about one year now, so I thought I was definitely out of his focus. Yesterday, completely out of the blue, he contacted me again after a one year break. I´m really astounded at this move. Of course I haven´t answered his approaches and keep up the no contact rule, but I´m really wondering what might have incited him to approach me again: Very N-unlike he makes himself very vulnerable by contacting me, since I just could inform his girlfriend about his ´sideline activities´ (and I do have solid evidence). Furthermore he KNOWS that I unveiled his manipulating n-techniques and that I never ever would allow him to soap into my life again.

Why does he act like this, while it´s NOT profitable? It´s even dangerous, because he has given me the ´power´ to take away his current source of n-supply, since I could inform his girlfriend (and believe me, I´m itching all over to do it!;-)) Hope that someone can help me to figure this out!

Thanx and blessings!

Nov 29 - 8AM
Carole
Carole's picture

Thanxxxalot!!!

Dear Ladies, Thanxxxalot for thinking along with me, I really appreciate it! Lots of love!!! Carole

Carole

Nov 27 - 9PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Hi Carole. I think they like

Hi Carole. I think they like the danger and the challenge. They get high off of it for if he could suck you back in that would mean huge supply for him. Plus Im sure you have read about recycling. They never truly drop anyone for good. I mean look at me he came back 15 years later.
Nov 27 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Oh yeah and btw did he care

Oh yeah and btw did he care that I was married? Oh hell no he still went for it. I think it was the danger of that that enticed him. Now to be fair I did friend the Narc on facebook but I expected him to have a wife and family. I was curious. of course he didnt have a wife or kids. I sure as hell didnt expect him to tell me that he had always loved me. The Narc and I were on facebook within 10 days of eachother so my guess had I not friended him he would have friended me as we have mutual friends from college.
Nov 27 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
Carole
Carole's picture

He´s the ´modest´ type...

Well, concernig his N-supply my exit-N doesn´t like danger and wouldn´t seek for it on purpose. He thinks he is very unattractive (and he IS!) and has to make immense efforts to conquer women. If somebody sticks around, he´s very lucky! So he won´t risk to loose her by contacting an ex, who definitely does NOT want him back and whome he suspects of entertaining feelings of revenge towards him...

Carole

Nov 28 - 6AM (Reply to #8)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

I agree

with used & sick of it. He's ended with your replacement. Or he's disillusioned with her & is seeking to move on. he's trying to line up a replacement. This is classic with these guys and is even in the literature. I have met the woman who replaced me & his first ex-wife (I am the second). Everytime he & my replacement almost busted up or did bust up, he contacted me. We compared my e-mails from him & her calendar of their relationship. And, when I met the first ex-wife, when I left him, he contacted her even though they had been divorced almost 5 years.
Nov 28 - 6AM (Reply to #7)
Used
Used's picture

carole

but do you know he is still with her at this moment, cos it sounds to me ,he is looking up old supply, they usually do that when the current supply is not available... thats just my opinion..
Nov 27 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

well I would say

even more reason for him to come back and recycle you. Its always harder for them to start with someone new and they are always lining up back up supply. If "conquering" women is that difficult for him I would for sure think that he would return to an old supply even if it did end badly. They dont think like you and I. They can be raging one minute and tell you how much they love you the next. They dont hold on to stuff like we do. They cant seem to figure out why were still upset with them. They truly are puzzled by it. When I brought up some of the horrofic stuff that round one to the N. He didnt seem to remember it or didnt think it was that bad. I even said you seem to remember thing much differently than me. I remember that was a red flag to me but excused it saying to myself it was a long time ago. BS those memories are still vividly imprinted in my mind Just my take on it.
Nov 27 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Hi Carole,

I don't know what your narc said to you, but I would guess he's just fishing. And he's hoping you've forgotten all of the things he did to you. Besides, he was so wonderful, how could you still hold a grudge? Stick to NC, he doesn't deserve a response from you.
Nov 27 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
Carole
Carole's picture

Separation anxiety

He is a porn-addict and has many other strange habbits, but he does everything to hide his ´hobbies´. He suffers from separation anxiety and is extremely afraid of losing his main-supplier. So, why does he risk his relationship so publicly, while he knows I could destroy it by sending through some e-mails and text messages to his girlfriend?

Carole

Nov 27 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Because he is infinitely

Because he is infinitely STUPID LOL ! Narcs eventually hogtie themselves with their on web of deceit. It makes no logical sense, but then again we are talking about NPD here. I think it is very likely his new supply is pulling away (as I hope she is, for her sake). When a Narc fishes for supply, it's because he's running low. Such a desperate act, so RISKY as to contact you, says he is getting squeezed out. You were never a real person to him, you were just a toaster or coffee pot that he discarded. Picking you back up again is like pulling an appliance out of storage. That you suffered and escaped with your life has not and will not occur to him. He did nothing wrong. YOU did, and in his twisted psychotic mind, just because he wants it to be, you might be ready to apologize and start making toast for him again.