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Constantly Reinventing Themselves

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#1 Feb 21 - 12AM
Armed
Armed's picture

Constantly Reinventing Themselves

Ns change friends the same way their romantic partners are interchangeable. I know I know, I've been obsessing and trying to keep up with what he's doing. It's bad but I can't help myself sometimes. He has a whole new crew of people. Different face, different lace, same process. When they catch on to him or he uses them up, he'll be onto a new gang. It's really quite sad.

Feb 21 - 10AM
spinning
spinning's picture

Armed, sweetheart, I would

strongly encourage you to please stop trying to "keep up with him and what he's doing." As long as you continue to do that, you're still "in it" with him and it's still All About Him. Don't give him any more power over your life, dear Armed, please! He only has that power if you give it to him. To continue to focus on him and whatever he's doing means you are not focusing on you and what you need to do feel better about YOURSELF and your life, which you of course want to be happy, joyful, fun and filled with the kind of love and relationship you deserve and desire. FOCUS ON THAT. That's where your energy will do you the most good. I know how hard it is because I have walked in your shoes. Obsessing about them is part of the process, particularly so early in No Contact. But the thing is you will never truly know the ABSOLUTE PEACE OF MIND AND CLARITY that No Contact brings if you are still having "contact by proxy" by keeping up with him on social media or however. It's still contact and the more you have it the more your head will keep "spinning." I say this because I've been there. Please try to do whatever you can to detach from whatever the hell he's up to. It is immaterial to your life and the beautiful life you will create now! I hope this helps some, Armed. I read your other post and know you are struggling with his behavior. But you see, it is no longer all about him here. It is all about you and recovering from the mind-bending experience. Here is a blog from Lisa that might help. It helped me a lot in those early days: http://www.lisaescott.com/2011/04/19/why-we-obsess-about-narcissist http://www.lisaescott.com/2011/05/28/why-we-must-wake-recover-narcissist Hugs to you, dear Armed, and I send you good vibes for strength and clarity. Sincerely, (not) spinning BECAUSE I REJECT ALL CHAOS AND CONFUSION

spinning

Feb 21 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Idealize,

Idealize, devalue,discard.. Supply is supply.. Hunter