clearing out dead wood... room for green shoots?

The situation with the N has made me look very closely at my own behaviours and how I allowed this to happen.

I know that I have spent years around people who do not treat me very well and that I struggle to stand up for myself, having been condition well by a N as a child.

So when the reality of the N hit it I was no longer able to ignore some of the shocking relationships I had with people in my life.

You know the truth is - I cant imagine being romantically involved with someone who actually offered support or put my needs on the agenda. I dont think i have ever had that.

The result of looking hard at all these relationships is that I got rid of most of the people in my life ... and I have no regrets.

My worry is that all the dead wood is gone but will the green shoots come?

I have been brutal in my culling because I think I needed to be ... I had no boundaries to speak of and so people were really taking advantage of me .. and I really believe the N was sent to show me how life could be different but to make that difference I would have to take action.

I naively believed that people would treat me well by default but the truth is that you need to ensure people treat you well.

I am taking a leap of faith and assuming that if I have healthy boundaries it will mean that I will attract more healty people ...

I wonder if anyone who is further down the line than me had this experience and how it is panning out for them now?

xx