cheerleading therapist

Leah, This therapist is indeed off, a good therapist will tell you to stay away from alcohol, as it can depress you more, and you can develop a depency on it and end up with a bigger problem. Alcohol can numb people in their pain, but it's like an addictive aspirin, it does not solve the problem, and it promotes a dependency on it. A good therapist, like the one I have now, will tell you to get out of an abusive relationship that's damaging you, and allow yourself to feel the grief (go through the normal grief process), it's just being "human", and let it run it's course, until it is resolved and gone, in other words, don't detach yourself from your feelings, because "detaching" does not mean "resolving", it just means detaching and denial. And your feelings are valid under the present circumstances, give yourself permission to feel, you are going through something really difficult. What you need is support to get through this. Numbing your self with alcohol and drugs, as you know, can only take you into a deeper spiral down into the bottom. That therapist is crazy, she needs help herself, maybe she is using alcohol and drugs herself!

I think some therapists ARE nuts, your former one sounds like a major wackadoo! I hope you're getting much better advice now. I stopped going to mine. I only went a few times, only because I didn't feel her brand of 'therapy light' was right for me, she was pretty much just a sounding board. She's worked with all kinds of people, including this one person with multiple personalities. She said this woman was raised by satanists and was able to bring her 'dark' side out, which apparently threatened my therapist and ruined some of her personal property. I figured maybe my therapist was better working with those types of people rather than abuse victims? I still think NPD is still very much unchartered territory for a lot of therapists. Still looking for the right person, right now, I'm just doing what feels right to me, which seems to be working in the meantime...

That is great Mallory. Sounds like you have a good therapist. That is so crucial. When you are with an N for a long time, you really do think that you should be able to make sense of their words, but they are just a bunch of sounds strung together. He may or may not mean them when he says them, but he will turn around and say something TOTALLY different a minute later. My N said to me about six months ago, "so, my word means nothing to you." I said, "Absolutely nothing." He has NO integrity, NO conscience, and NO sense. Last week, while texting about visitation, I got a text from him that said, "You have me so confused that I can't figure out what you mean." This conversation was about which Wednesdays he would have the kids. Very straightforward, dates only. Notice his wording--I did. He said YOU have me so confused. He can't even take responsibility for his lack of reading correctly, even that is my fault. My therapist always says to me, "Wow, you are really powerful in his life." Everything was always my fault. And Mallory, I can totally relate to your bewilderment with him telling you that he wants you back while sucking money out of your joint account. I really do think that Ns will say absolutely anything to get what they want. He was telling you what he thought you wanted to hear to avoid going to court, or to get you to make his life easier. Just like he is having Miss Trashy take care of his animals and his yard. Wow, that's romantic. We always convince ourselves that the N will be different with someone else, but they can't be. He sounds like his same-old selfish, clueless self. That is how the N in my life is living too--he has a babysitter--she comes over on the nights that he doesn't have anything else to do, not out to dinner, not anywhere really. She makes macaroni and cheese, they eat dinner and watch t.v. What a fabulous life he is having! He is 42, lives in a crappy college apartment with a 23-year-old who has no job, no life, and sponges off of her parents. He never sees his kids, has no friends because they all think that he is a jerk and an idiot for how he treats his kids and me. He has nothing--he is an empty shell of a man. Again, read the story about my dad. He died alone. That is what happens to these guys as they get older. We all create our own destiny.