Cell Phones & Restrooms...

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#1 Jul 14 - 9AM
rhiannon
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Cell Phones & Restrooms...

Well, I'm back on the NC wagon. My exN is off gambling, so it's been relatively easy. Last night I went out with a friend (the one he always forbid me to see) and we had a great time. We talked about him for almost 2 hours, and she really helped me get out of my funk. She told me how lucky I was that I didn't have kids with this guy, no financial obligations... that I could just cut ties and be done.

Two topics came up last night that I wanted to bring up here today. They're odd, and I was just curious if anyone else experienced things like this...

Cell Phone: My exN was always jealous of my phone. He didn't like me getting calls, texts, emails, or voicemails. He didn't like me playing games on my phone (especially games that you play with your friends). Whenever he was the one on the phone with me, he didn't like hearing my phone vibrate or ring or ding when I got any of the above. When I moved out, I remember him telling me, "If I'm on the phone with you, and I hear your phone go off, I WILL be hanging up the phone." So, what did I learn to do? Change my silent settings to not vibrate, and anytime he called me, I'd quickly turn it to silent before I answered. When I was around him, I would have my phone on silent. Of course, he turned this around on me and would say, "Why is your phone always on silent? What are you hiding?" It drove me crazy. Of course, this is all coming from Mr. I Have 3 Cell Phones and I'm On Them All The Time. My friend thinks HE's the one that had something to hide.

Restroom: Here's an even stranger one. Anybody's N have problems with you using the restroom with the door closed? From the very beginning, mine said that if I couldn't pee with the door open, I didn't trust him. I remember one time he stood there for like 20 minutes and said, "I have all day." My friend's comment was... "What were you in? Prison? That's the only place I can think of where you don't have a door. It's a trust and humiliation issue." I never really thought about it that way.

Anybody else have experiences like this?

Jul 15 - 1PM
LetFreedomRing
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My Ex did the same thing. I

My Ex did the same thing. I later found out it was because....he pretended to be taking a dump whenever he was doing some type of dirt (most likely on the phone with a woman, texting) and he had 2 phones I didn't know about. In WHATEVER way he didn't trust you was probably his M.O. I'm NC finally and I swear....I feel better than ever!! Let's leave these idiots in the past were they belong. And even then, I hope the memory utterly disappears. God Bless U All!
Jul 15 - 4PM (Reply to #26)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

LetFreedomRing

Congrats on NC!!!! xoxo
Jul 15 - 1PM (Reply to #25)
Used
Used's picture

phones

they took them everywhere the n cuddled his like a comforter,they cannot bear to be alone, including the sound of silence, they cannot risk having ther phones out of the reach, they might miss a bit of future supply lol
Jul 14 - 6PM
Amy
Amy's picture

lol!

Mine would jiggle to door handle and ask if I was pooping every time I used the bathroom! He knew I am a private bathroom person. It is a control thing I think - he wanted to break down every barrier I had!
Jul 15 - 11AM (Reply to #23)
blindedbythenarc
blindedbythenarc's picture

so many similar traits

Mine always stormed in when I was going to the bathroom.. i always needed to lock the door.. If i was quietly going to the bathroom.. he would walk from the other side of the house to find out what i was doing.. he would taunt me constantly about going to the bathroom.. it was the craziest thing!
Jul 14 - 6PM
broken23
broken23's picture

this thread is too

this thread is too funny...how much toilet paper? must pee with door open? good lord!
Jul 14 - 6PM
broken23
broken23's picture

this thread is too

this thread is too funny...how much toilet paper? must pee with door open? good lord!
Jul 14 - 4PM
positivefuture
positivefuture's picture

mine had a toilet paper thing!

he just wanted to always know how much toilet paper i was using. not because there was a lack of toilet paper in the house LOL, he just felt i was probably using too much. WHAT??? everytime i'd come out of the bathroom he'd ask how much i used. LOL LOL!!! of course it was just so i would pay attention to toilet paper because then he broke into my house and took all the toilet paper i had. nothing else, just my toilet paper. SICK!
Jul 14 - 4PM (Reply to #14)
Steph
Steph's picture

LOL! You should have told

LOL! You should have told him you didn't use toilet paper....you have just been using his face towel instead.
Jul 15 - 1PM (Reply to #17)
almostlydia
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I am absolutely laughing my

I am absolutely laughing my ass off at that one. you are good!!!

almostlydia

Jul 15 - 1PM (Reply to #18)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

No wonder I spend way too

No wonder I spend way too much time on this board - you all are so freaking funny! I love you guys. Mine was an absolute phone freak, that's how I got untold number of bruises and two jammed fingers - fighting him over taking my phone when he guarded his like a hawk. And he always had one of those fancy ones I could never work much less see without my glasses on so I had given up long before. Especially since I could just go on my computer where dumbf*ck had synced (?) his phone and look up anything I wanted to know on his account:) Course it didn't matter cause he got himself a secret second phone to keep his busy secret life on. He thought he was so clever with all his 'private' number calls that was his signature until he used his little secret phone to send me a text. Can't send a text under 'private' without the number showing up, dumba*s. When I told him that the only reason on the planet that he would need a second phone is to keep his secret life he just went 'duh'. Course I went back to him a 100 times more. No bathroom stuff tho except that's where he used to call me from a lot. and I know for a fact that he used to text me from the bathroom while he had one of his regulars over. Once I was sitting in his driveway watching he and his T/Th/Sun regular upstairs in his bedroom while he was texting me saying "I'll call you as soon as I get off the phone with my cousin in LA". I just sat there and waited until his 'cousin' came out of the house. I always said it was a good thing I never owned a gun. He would've been dead long time ago.

almostlydia

Jul 15 - 1PM (Reply to #19)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Yes, mine had his iphone in

Yes, mine had his iphone in his grasp at ALL times and couldn't stop looking at it! It drove me nuts! Of course, him leaving it in my car by accident and me seeing him on match.com was a blessing so I'm in NC now. He has cheated on me before and I took it. I won't take this crap anymore. I wish I could have stuck that phone up his ass but I think he would have enjoyed that too. Who knows! He's a loser! I am in mourning of the loss. I'm thinking of him as dead to me.
Jul 14 - 4PM (Reply to #16)
positivefuture
positivefuture's picture

LOL!!

too funny! oh, that would have been a priceless just to see his expression on that comment. one time when i was mad at him i told him he was just a friend i like to have sex with. i no longer think of him as anything more. he tapped his foot (in an irritated way) the entire rest of the night, couldn't relax, couldn't watch the movie we rented. it was awesome. i paid for it the next week...but it was worth the one night of HIM being uncomfortable.
Jul 14 - 4PM (Reply to #15)
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

OMG

I had to put my face down on my desk to stifle my giggling at that.
Jul 14 - 2PM
ClusterF
ClusterF's picture

Peeing in private

That is the most bizarre, twisted conjecture I think I have ever heard. Trust? Holy shit. I am a total bathroom prude--one weird dude I dated tried once to bring my coffee into the bathroom when I was on the pot (not to be nice, I assure you, it was a weird control thing then as well and he KNEW I didn't ever consume anything in the bathroom or use the bathroom with the door open) and I nearly knocked him across the room and didn't talk to him for days. Broke up with him soon after--that was the tip of the iceberg. If privacy in the bathroom wasn't a god-given right, there wouldn't be doors with locks on them hung from that entrance. Sheesh. STAY NC.
Jul 14 - 4PM (Reply to #12)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Rhiannon

I'm so glad you re-established No Contact. Keep it up and if you ever doubt you did the right thing, think of Betty's comment: "Thank god you can pee in private again!" LOL, I'm still laughing!
Jul 14 - 1PM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

Its all about the

Its all about the Narcissistic control. Thank god you can pee in private again.. Good job on the NC. Keep up the hard work...xoxoxox only one way to go...Forward

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Jul 14 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
NinjaGirl
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"Thank god you can pee in private again"

Wish I hadn't read that while I was drinking something. I almost did a spit-take.
Jul 14 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
rhiannon
rhiannon's picture

LOL

"Thank god you can pee in private again.." Thanks for the laugh :)
Jul 14 - 1PM
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

Phones

If my phone went off he would always ask who I was talking to or make some sort of little comment like "wow you sure have been on that alot lately". etc. I always felt weird if I text someone around him. He could also look through and use my phone but his was untouchable. He would text people from my phone all of the time. I would come out of the shower and he would be talking to someone on my phone. When I asked why he used my phone he would say that they called me and he answered. Total double standard

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 14 - 6PM (Reply to #7)
Amy
Amy's picture

yup!

Mine wanted access to my phone, but I could not look at his!
Jul 14 - 11AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

phones and restrooms

Oh God. Yes. The phone couldn't ring and it couldn't be on silent or turned off. Maddening! His phone was untouchable. You recall that he beat the crap out of me because I tried to look at it. On bathrooms: yes, he would stand by the door when I went to the bathroom. I think it was because he would make calls in the bathroom and reflected this back onto me, thinking that's what I was doing. The one time we stayed overnight together out of town, he actually took the phone into the shower with him--not just the bathroom, but the actual shower. He also "went out to smoke" every three minutes. The one time he stayed overnight at my place, we went out to dinner before and, right before we left, he went to the bathroom, even though my house was right around the corner. He just HAD to go, even though I already had my coat on. He was gone for fifteen minutes. Not sick or anything. Just in the bathroom, I'm sure saying good night to his sweet peas, telling him he was going to bed. That didn't stop the phone from ringing until two in the morning, to the point where I grabbed for it while we were naked in bed and said, "let's just see who the hell is calling you at 2 am" and he jumped out of bed, grabbed the phone and held it over his head, and said, "You are unbelieveable. I am NOT putting up with this. I am going home." And left. So actually he DIDN't stay over that night either!
Jul 14 - 11AM
Steph
Steph's picture

Mine was weird if I missed a

Mine was weird if I missed a call or if we were out and I "took to long" in the bathroom, or outside for smoke....or "took to long" driving to his house. Never did any of the things to the extent of yours though. All about control. YOur friend is right. YOu were in a prison. So happy you had a nice time with your friend and that she is supportive. AND your back to NC. Good for you!!! xoxo
Jul 14 - 10AM
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

Wow

No, mine wasn't like that at all. Holy crap, what a control freak! I'm sorry, but that guy is seriously a creepy f'd up loser. I'm so glad you're away from him.
Jul 14 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
Bodhi
Bodhi's picture

No

Mine wasn't like that either... but these are all forms of control, so not a surprise.
Jul 14 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Mine was like that with the

Mine was like that with the phone and I always had it on silence when with him but yet he lived on his Iphone and now I know why. It was he who was cheating on me! The bathroom thing I never experienced but I'm glad you are out of it. You had a sick man!