Can we inflict damage?

I broke NC a while ago to inflict my final damage. I weighed the consequences, was it worth it? yes it was. I inflicted damage that I know that no matter what excuses, justifications he makes It will sit in his mind for quite a while.

In an earlier thread, LOML asked as to how we can inflict damage. Well I think mostly it isn't possible and unless you are beyond indifferent, it only opens up places to be wounded again. That was always my earlier experience. But not this time. It was cold and calculated and intended to stick for a while.

It all started because I am just more than tired of this bullshit game. When the 'private' phone calls started again and then I saw him at the bank in my neighborhood on my way home from 36 hours at the hospital with my Mother, I just had had enough of his presumption that he could just circle my life whenever it was my turn on the schedule again. Can I say 'fed up' enough with these psycho obsession games.

I never spoke to him but I answered some of the text. He was digging for info but I never told him anything - nothing about my Mother's being here, about my daughter moving out or my son being here on and off. Just let him make his assumptions of my being involved with someone else and sit on them. Eventually when I quit responding he went into this incredulous story about how I had been raped by some weird date and then some weird thing about how it had turned into some threesome rape. I'm reading this thinking you are one f*cked up mother f*cker. How do you go from some question about a date to this ridiculous fantasy scenario?

Finally, when things really began to turn ugly, I just finally lowered the boom telling him his entire life was nothing but blame, hate, and vengeance against all those you blame for your f*cked up life. Ending in the statement that 'sadly, you've been blaming the wrong parent all your life'. Prior to this I said it was a mistake on my part to have been in contact with him again meaning I am done now. But I know that the seed I planted will be reeling in his head for a long time.

I hope he got the message that I'm done being played. It's hard ball now. I know all the benefits of NC. I know he doesn't deserve the time in my head that all this created. But was it worth it - Yes it was worth every bit of it and whatever comes.

The other very valuable thing I realized in all of this is that because I spent more than 4 yrs in breakup-reconciliation hell, I put all my freedom on that fact that my greatest fear was being played back into another reconciliation. Getting past that was all that I could hope for and work toward. The fact is is that once this hurdle is passed, the long term damage still remains and getting free of that is another hurdle to deal with. Staying NC is crucial for this next hurdle. I got my closure, my last stand and my last word as to being at his leisure for when ever he decides to play me again.

That was the last message I sent and the last I intend to send. If his behavior continues, then it is time to get the police involved. I have had all that I am going to take. I hope he got it this time.