Can a Narc BECOME a sociopath?
Can a Narc BECOME a sociopath?
I am one of the women on this board who spent decades married to a narc. I met him when he was a boy of 16. Whether he was born that way or made that way, I do believe that he was a narc from the day I met him. But he was a dormant narc or maybe a narc in training, or an inverted narc – he did not exhibit the traits or behaviors that became prevalent in the later years. In the early years, he was either quietly honing his skills or fighting against his inner demons; probably both. No one saw any red flags – my parents let me marry him and move halfway around the world!
I watched him grow into a monster I did not recognize. The trajectory of his decline into insanity grew exponentially. Once the mask started to crack he lost control of the demon. His appetite for debauchery was insatiable.
The first 15 years he was basically ‘normal’ the next 5 years, he slowly grew angrier, more reclusive, judgmental and sullen – right around our 20th anniversary, he snapped like a twig. Became completely unrecognizable; he let his Narc flag fly high. However, he didn’t seem to take pleasure in hurting me. He seemed remorseful for the pain he was causing, but unable to stop. He could not see beyond his own childish whims, desires and imagined personal offenses.
It wasn’t until 22 years of marriage, including an 18 month affair followed by 2 years of marriage and personal counseling that I saw him take pleasure in my pain. A self-satisfied smile at my tears – chilling.
So, my question: Are sociopaths born? Can a narc left unchecked become a sociopath? There definitely seems to be a bow-curve to the disorder.
I’d love your thoughts.
Suzie.
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