Can a Narc BECOME a sociopath?

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#1 Aug 8 - 10AM
Recovering Suzie
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Can a Narc BECOME a sociopath?

I am one of the women on this board who spent decades married to a narc. I met him when he was a boy of 16. Whether he was born that way or made that way, I do believe that he was a narc from the day I met him. But he was a dormant narc or maybe a narc in training, or an inverted narc – he did not exhibit the traits or behaviors that became prevalent in the later years. In the early years, he was either quietly honing his skills or fighting against his inner demons; probably both. No one saw any red flags – my parents let me marry him and move halfway around the world!

I watched him grow into a monster I did not recognize. The trajectory of his decline into insanity grew exponentially. Once the mask started to crack he lost control of the demon. His appetite for debauchery was insatiable.

The first 15 years he was basically ‘normal’ the next 5 years, he slowly grew angrier, more reclusive, judgmental and sullen – right around our 20th anniversary, he snapped like a twig. Became completely unrecognizable; he let his Narc flag fly high. However, he didn’t seem to take pleasure in hurting me. He seemed remorseful for the pain he was causing, but unable to stop. He could not see beyond his own childish whims, desires and imagined personal offenses.

It wasn’t until 22 years of marriage, including an 18 month affair followed by 2 years of marriage and personal counseling that I saw him take pleasure in my pain. A self-satisfied smile at my tears – chilling.

So, my question: Are sociopaths born? Can a narc left unchecked become a sociopath? There definitely seems to be a bow-curve to the disorder.

I’d love your thoughts.
Suzie.

Aug 8 - 5PM
Arwen
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Hi dear please PM me...I met

Hi dear please PM me...I met mine when he was the same age as yours and at that time he was a covert narc as well...low self-esteem but tremendous need for admiration all at the same time. Turned into a serious sociopoath with serious consequences over the last few decades. I would love to talk to you. Hugs.
Aug 8 - 1PM
girlsinger
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recoveringsuzie

Hi There your post touched my heart so I did some digging for you and the word is "as they get older, they get bolder" here are 2 links Hope they cast a bit of light for you one is pretty general, but interesting, some yahoo answers the second one is a site called "sociopath world" ( who knew?) http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091208062732AAf93zR http://www.sociopathworld.com/2009/01/do-sociopaths-love.html what I read on there was deeply disturbing to me yet,illuminating..(especially the "comments") wow, hard to believe these people really exsist,isnt it? had I not been involved with one, no way I would have believed the exN is a Cancer surgoen he dismantles and reconstructs people and his enviroment to suit his every whim...literally thats way too much power, especially for a PDI yet he is richly compensated for it materially and in every other way imaginable with people bowing and genuflecting as he passes by all day I refused to have this sort of "infection" in my life so I turned the tables and "cut" him out which was ironic since he's ussually the one doing all the cutting it was the hardest thing I ever had to do and only required I change one thing ...EVERYTHING! as a result, the payoff was well worth the pain I have a life now I always knew was possible but was never going to have, had I stayed, and settled for so much less than I am worth Im living in the warmth of the "LIGHT" where I belong where we all belong... its all a choice Suzie, all of life is please choose YOU! bless your heart for what you have been through Suzie be blessed K
Aug 8 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
Recovering Suzie
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girlsinger

Thanks for the info. I visited the sociopathworld site, but only briefly as I hope to sleep tonight. (but I did bookmark it for later) The description of how sociopaths love exemplified the "love" I shared with my husband. During marriage counseling I actually discussed how my love for him was like my love for my son - unconditional. It was so intense and it was real ... for me. At the moment I cannot think clearly. Everyone. Thank you so much for your responses. He's been gone for over a year now, before that we had 2 years of counseling I have never felt less alone. Suzie
Aug 8 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
Layla
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Love this!!!!!!!!

"I have a life now I always knew was possible but was never going to have, had I stayed, and settled for so much less than I am worth" This is so beautiful! I love this!!! : )
Aug 8 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
58 and going strong
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And choice is the one big

And choice is the one big thing that we have and they don't, considering that we appear to be as far off 'normal' in our addiction as they are, just on the other side of the Gaussian bell curve . . . And they will never be forced to chose as long as they find supply.
Aug 8 - 11AM
michele115 (not verified)
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To the best of my knowledge....

Sociopath is the antiquated term for what is now considered a psychopath; however, globally there are various "DSM's" so to speak...in the US we have one set of criteria, abroad another; however they all are quite similar. Here, in the US...Narcs suffer from Narcissism which currently is a Cluster B Disorder in the DSM. Psychopaths and Narcs SHARE the lack of empathy, inabiliity to attach and love. Not all psychopaths KILL however, a psychopaths most damaging trait is his/her narcissism. In 2013 the APA is considering removing NPD and placing it under Antisocial Personality Disorder; however, they are still working out the semantics/criteria. What this means I have no idea...what this will change, only Heaven knows...what they can become, what they are in summation are Disordered individuals lacking in empathy, unable to attach or love...they are dangerous to our mental health and well being... Doesn't matter what they become or what we call them...what they are is enough. Hugs!
Aug 8 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
heritage
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M115

So glad you are back with your honest knowledge! Mine is a Socio (involved in so many illegal white collar crimes and he thinks it's ok to commit)also Is NPD and also PA. All 3 of these combined made for a very volatile, deceitful, manipulative abusive relationship! Don't miss the constant lies! And yes what they are is plenty!!! Thanks Michelle!