Called Scorned...Burned...told to Get over it....I've had it!!!

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#1 Dec 28 - 8PM
janemarie
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Called Scorned...Burned...told to Get over it....I've had it!!!

I am sooo pissed right now...soooo hurt...I cant stop crying

Let me first say that my whole entire family is made up of men....I have 3 brothers, one father, and 3 sons (who really dont count because they are young)

Im sitting at my brothers with all of them for a post Christmas gathering....

One brother says...God you look miserable....they all laugh....

Then Im called a scorned woman who needs to get over it....

Then as Im crying with my sister-in-law...my brother walks by shaking his head....says theres nothing worse than a woman whos been burned.....

WTF???!!!

Scorned? Burned? Get over it?? I cant take the ignorance and the constant ridicule....they have no idea what I've been thru..

Divorced...My mother's passing...And this failed Narc relationship that stripped me of myself....all within a 2 year period.........

I have had it!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening!!

Dec 29 - 8AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

JM

What DS said.. However in some regards .. Get over it is correct... You are doing the work to "Get over it" It takes time...iTS fun to bathe in other people's drama it's takes the focus off their own shit.. Laugh at it.. It's all you can do.. I had the pleasure of seeing my loving mother over the Holidays.. Let me tell you" it's all about her" Last Night I was watching "On Golden Pond" love that film.. My husband said see, that's a movie where the daughter hates her father at the end they make peace.. I saw it so different. Peter Fonda is an asshole and damaged his daughter due to being selfish.. My husband is very normal and has a very loving parents.. He doesn't have a clue.. He does however see my mother for the phony she is.. Point is .. You know the truth.. Work on you.. Smile and fake it. You can't pick your family. Hunter
Dec 28 - 9PM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

Many men have egos,,and deal with crap by making others small

I find that when men are uncomfortable, they become crude and do not behave themselves and degrade to break down..this is often more indicative of something THEY ARE STRUGGLING WITH. For example, if they critical ask about something,,,keep in mind that in blame there is one finger pointin out, four more pointing to the source who is blaming others. Not always, sometimes people cry out for help, and they are blameless... However for them to say this, they are just sizing themselves up.. It is okay to be feeling these feelings right now..all the more reason to reflect on what makes you happy,,and to not confide too much to people who do not understand.
Dec 28 - 9PM
Layla
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ONLY "one father"????

Hehehehe..........sorry, sometimes we have to laugh too! I agree with ds, most of us do not come from the most healthy families of origin to begin with and they do not understand.....that and the fact brothers can be brutal without trying to be...... love~ Layla
Dec 28 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
janemarie
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OMG Layla...I didnt even

OMG Layla...I didnt even realize I wrote "one" father....thanks for the much needed laugh!!!!
Dec 28 - 9PM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Families can be brutal, I

Families can be brutal, I know. It would be nice if they were supportive...but if our families were emotionally healthy we probably wouldn't have been vulnerable to attack from a Narc in the first place. Speaking for myself, I know this is true. But now that I am single and removed from her sickness I can make better choices and act in my best interest instead of having to live being a reactor to the chaos around me. I bring my Narc problems here or to good friends, the family just doesn't have the ability to support me in this. ds
Dec 28 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
janemarie
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That's the kicker....I didnt

That's the kicker....I didnt even ask for support...I was just sitting there trying to fake it...Im done talking about it with them.... They took it upon themselves to state their opinions...I guess trying to make me laugh. I have a great sense of humor but I just wasnt into it today,,....My brothers are just a bunch of dumbasses who dont know when to leave it alone.... Im suppose to spend New Years with them... I know if I do...it will just be a repeat of tonight...cant and wont do it...Im staying home alone..on here...with all of you
Dec 29 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
walking_on_sunshine
walking_on_sunshine's picture

brainf*** by association

I walked right past my fathers house on Christmas and straight into my al anon support meeting. Its a meeting for adult children who have been affected by an alcoholic parent. The last thing I needed on christams this year was to have to bear witness the pathology of N father and his mother. Nope, I'll pass... and so very thankful I did. Jane, that's the problem with narcissism, is that they can still get you screwed up without you even asking or needing anything from them. You get affected just by association.
Dec 28 - 8PM
bgirl
bgirl's picture

Please find somewhere safe

Please find somewhere safe where u can just be yourself. Take ur laptop and just stay on here. Shut the rest of the world out....they just don't get it and prob never will. We 'get it' though. So we are more enlightened than they'll ever be...because we can feel xxx