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Bullshitter vs. Pathological Liar

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#1 Feb 5 - 5PM
Monica
Monica's picture

Bullshitter vs. Pathological Liar

I believe my N/psychopath to be a pathological liar (aren't they all?). Others know he persistently and constantly lies. But they call him a "bullshitter" as opposed to a liar. Is there a difference? Is this a guy thing? It is mostly xN's male buddies (former and pseudo-current) and former coworkers who use the term bullshitter. The gals I know who have caught on call him a "liar." Is there a difference? Another guy that I no longer have contact with would always just say that xN "embellishes." Why the different terms and takes on the situation? Is it about education and learning what narcissism and psychopathy entail vs ignorance of these topics?

Feb 6 - 7AM
4joys4
4joys4's picture

Saying he is a bullshitter

Saying he is a bullshitter is not giving credit to the evil intent that narcs have and the pain they cause. You can dismiss them. A liar is more accurate. It says to be careful with this person as they are destructive to others. The bullshitter just gets a wave of the hand.
Feb 5 - 6PM
rache
rache's picture

Lying

Mine always did both,so,i'm inclined to believe that if one bullshits a lot they're full of shit,therefore-to me-they're also pathological liars,just saying..........a lie,is a lie,is a lie regardless of whether one fesses up.Its the little white lie versus the big one=the little white one is still a lie.
Feb 6 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
Monica
Monica's picture

Rache....I tend to agree with you

I just can't distinguish between the two. It's like we are talking about "degrees" and "intent." A lie is a lie is a lie...when it is pervasive and happens all the time. Whenever we say we can't trust someone or can't trust what they tell us....well, the difference between bullshitting and pathological lying just doesn't matter in my book. I guess the people who would call him a "bullshitter" believe that he "embellishes" his stories. For example, maybe he was at a function with someone famous or important. They were in the same room, maybe shook hands and exchanged casual hellos. But this later gets turned into "I had a private meeting with so-and-so and we talked about such-and-such and s/he said I could call them anytime that I want to discuss this further" and now he considers himself "in" with this person. Some "embellishing" is based on a smidgen of truth. But other stories are totally fabricated. It is all just living in the fantasy world, a world he wants everyone else to live in, too, and believe in and go along with and admire him for all these wonderful things he does, famous people he knows "personally," expensive items he has bought (which most people have never witnessed him as even owning). Bullshitting, pathological lying...it's the same to me.
Feb 6 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
rache
rache's picture

Monica

I have noticed if one can so easily lie about one thing,they, can lie about others.This is what EX N did so easy.And,he would always tell me you do not know what you've got,but,you will(meaning when he's gone)well,that was always his intent-use and abuse- D and D,but,he was wrong on me missing him=going in to my 3rd day NC.We'll see who misses who.I'm done.All the while he was lying about loving me,always being together,yada,yada,yada.
Feb 5 - 5PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Pathological Lying vs. Bullsh*tting

Pathological Lying is usually to exploit someone or something. Bullshitting is usually fairly harmless. http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/14/consequences-pathological-lying http://www.lisaescott.com/2009/12/05/lying-narcissists-stock-trade http://www.lisaescott.com/2010/01/14/why-narcissists-lie-crazy ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 5 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
fairy wings
fairy wings's picture

Interesting

Very interesting links. Thank you.
Feb 5 - 5PM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

Bullshiter vs a pathological liar

Bullshitter is someone who jokes,,who gags people, who "put on the charm" but they KNOW they are doing it... You could call them on it,,and they would ultimately fess up. They do it for yucks, they do it for giggles, they do it for humor. A pathological LIAR on the other hand, is just that. PATHOLOGICAL,,DISORDERED. DISORDERED means they cause big time trouble in other people's lives. Consistently. It is abnormal, unhealthy, they cannot control it, cannot change it, and it is very problematic, and negative. A pathological liar, is someone who lies repeatedly, ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS, and to the detriment of the happiness and health of others. They continue to do this, AND they do not care who they hurt, who they fuck up in the process, they do it knowing they are hurtful, and do it anyway. Pathology implies aberrant or abnormal. You will get sick of a pathological liar, because 1, you get so sick of hearing lies all the time.. 2, because they are lying, to the detriment, and damage to you. For people who are not close, or intimate with a pathological liar, they don't see it. They don't get it. They know of them casually. They excuse his behavior. Their behavior is inexcusable. Do not talk to others about a pathological liar who do not get it. It will only frustrate you, they have no idea of what you are talking about.
Feb 6 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
peacewarrior
peacewarrior's picture

Here is my two cents: I

Here is my two cents: I make a distinction between a person who lies yet when confronted or caught accepts responsiblity for the bend of truth, not fessing up he or she was responsible or partly accountable. A person exhibits pathology when they tell another lie and another to cover up the previous lie/lies..they continue to lie. Pathological persons are incapable of giving truthful factual information. Their story about the same thing keeps changing and they shift and switch facts around when asked for specific or detailed information. They will give different people conflicting stories and or information about the same topic for "truth" and demonstrable fact is perceived as okay to alter, change twist or outright delete. Pathalogical liars create chaos, highly conflictual situations due to the degree of lying orchestrating chaos to mayham like people tossed into a washing machine on agitation and spin cycle:) Pathalogical people react with anger, rage and blame others for the consequence sane people know they will receive e.g. feel guilt and/or shame when found out in a lie. Pathalogical people twist it around..as if truth, factual truth, you did it/said it...to humiliate them. Pathalogical people are delusional it is their right, entitlement to lie and are angry if others do not play along the lies are real,truth or fact. Pathalogical liars/personalities lie to blame others, incriinate others as to why they lie. As they lie they tell lies about other people to scapegoat others as if people held a gun to their head..so they "had" to lie...blame the target you set up...if caught lying shoot the target. Pathalogical liar when caught will not address or talk about their lies instead diverting and launching an attack on the person catching them to railraod, change topics what a "bad person" someone else is. Practice evasion of truth and personal truth. Pathalogical liars are distinctly pathalogical for they do not care or disregard harm, damages nor even a big mess their lies created. P liars do not ever give a stssraight answer, they are evasive. P liars will and do alter the persona of other persons, completely ficstionalize them assigning any character compuls changing who is whom for personal gain. They are unstable personalities and use words to swith who other people are, claiming "nothing wrong with it" "all the other persons fault"...spew any lie, excuse while blame shifting. They are like trying to nail jello to a wall. P personality, lies when one minute you or somesone is "this" and they can turn around unpredicstable saying you/someone is the opposite..unstable, untrustworthy, unbeleivable.