Broke NC......and it ended in domestic violence

WOW..that`s all I can say..sooner or later it comes down to this. Each time we go back, they get worse and worse, because they wish to show us who the "master" is, they want to punish for all our independency period. And for daring to leave them.. I guess your post says it all Crazy Train..the conclusions can be drawn by each of us. What I`ve been through seems like a fairytale compared to this. In my story and life, now I feel I`m alone against an entire Narcville system !! Because I did the work the best I culd, I have remained NC, didn`t expressed my feelings for the sharks to see. But it`s like, they are willing to go no limits, I`ve been hoovered by proxies. Chills down my spine reading what you have been through, and I admire you for keeping your cool, and being strong. Each time we return, the hate grows wider and deeper, and the punishments even bigger, because they take no responsibility for their own crazy behaviour! To point a gun at you, you`re lucky to be out of there alive. This should be a lesson for all of us..to never forget what they are..angry evil creatures. Your story reminds me of Erin one f Axl Rose, the singer, girlfriends..she beated her, raped her..when she left, she was a wreck emotionally, physically..and she left without taking any money, posessions, nothing, she simply ran away as far as possible..her friends said she used to have a "sparck" about her, to be joyfull and when he was done with her, that sparck was gone. Let`s not let them take that sparck away from us anymore! Thank you so much for sharing, blessings to you!!

Hi Crazy Train, I have thought about you often since reading your post and I felt I needed to add more to what I posted back the other day. I wanted to send my love and hope you have started to begin to sort things out in your head, You have been very brave to be open about your experience on this site...know you are not alone. Please don't feel humiliated by what has happened to you as unfortunately domestic violence happens in all walks of life, your status or background doesn't protect you from it. Also, as you are now learning, PD's are fabulous at sucking you in and making you believe you have it all with them. There are probably people you know yourself that you wouldn't even dream have experienced physical domestic violence that may be going through it even at this moment, it is more common then you think, a lot of victims tend to keep silent for many reason,.fear, humiliation to name just two. I never thought I would be caught up in such a way either, I'm a widowed mother of two fabulous boys, I've made a lovely home for us and I'm fun, kind, bubbly and love life but it happens and I don't feel humiliated as I know it can happen to anyone and it is not a reflection on the victim rather a reflection on the PD and luckily turned out to be major life lesson for me. I got out as quickly as I could. it's not personal this guy battered his wife, he has now done it to you, he will have done it to others and he will do it again he is not well but that is not your problem or concern, your safety, well being and happiness is. I don't know if you have thought about calling a domestic violence helpline now you have had time to reflect but it is something to think about. As I'm sure you already know everything is confidential and the people you will speak to are fantastic, kind, caring understand, non-judgemental and have probably been through this themselves, they will help you deal with your next step in moving on from the PD, you won't even have to tell them your name....yet again proof you are not alone. Please listen to Goldie about the ownership scenario she has described to you. I know this to be true and carbon copy, once they have beaten you they don't just go away in shame of what they have done. Also something I will add is these guys like to divide and conquer and they rely on you keeping silent so at least put what happened on record. Sending love and hugs to you CT and wishing you peace of mind. Kitty xxx

Crazy Train this sounds like a dangerous man. Have you been to the hospital? My understanding is that human bites can lead to severe infections. I hope that you did not need stitches and were too proud to seek medical attention. We are concerned about you and hope you are alright. The emotional part of this must have you reeling. Are you afraid of this man in terms of his coming after you? Do you feel safe? Yes they usually do kick it up a notch if they feel they can get away with it. He should be reported. Is this something that you are considering? You may want to seek help from the crisis intevention center in your area. Perhaps a R/O is in order at the very least. At least that way if he contacts you, you can call the police and they will pick him up. They generally don't go away quietly after a beating. There is the make up faze in the domestic violence cycle. You seemed to be doing so well, what do you suppose sent you back? You may want to look at that because whatever it was, he will be back to offer more of the same. This is the way the game is played, particularly after a beating, it give's them some type of a false sense of ownership as strange as that sounds. So sorry you had to go through this horrific ordeal in order to see his true colors. Is this man a criminal, I mean I know you said he hit is wife before and that is criminal. I just mean over and above that. I am getting a strong sense of street thug here, don't know why, just a strong vibe. I hope you will go to the court and get the R/O so that you are protected from any further abuse. God bless, Goldie

I sit in front of a blank screen, pondering what to write, how to respond, handle with kid gloves or no? I don't have an answer just yet on how to honestly answer your post CrazyTrain, but would like to say the following to all of our members here in hopes they read this....... DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, it's a serious epidemic in our country. There are thousands of beautiful, loving, caring, women in the world, that want to be loved, want to be desired, and MOSTLY.....want to believe their abuser. CrazyTrain wanted to believe hers, as so many of us want to. The bottom line, we can't, it is a matter of life and death too often. PLEASE, STAY AWAY FROM THE DISORDERED!!! I can not emphasize that enough, next time, may not be as fortunate. I can't help but be reminded of the many women that came forward after the poor girl went missing over this past summer in Aruba. She met the man she traveled with on a dating website. After she went missing, several women came forward, announcing that they were aware of his "angry side" and feared him. Some suffered by his hand, but did not want to press charges either. It is hard to come to the decision on whether to press charges or not, because of the fear of reprocussions, the fear of having to relive the abuse over and over and over again. I get it, I understand, I just wish it was easier for the victims to press charges so these monsters pay, and are off the streets before killing someone else. Remember, STAY AWAY!!!! STAY NC!!!! Crazy Train, it took a lot of courage to tell your story today. I admire that courage and the strength you found within yourself to do so. Try and use that same strength to stay away from him once and for all. :)

As someone who has been a victim of domestic violence when I read your post it bought my experiences back to me...it is horrendous....it triggered me and I really cried for you as I know how terrifying it is. I can not express enough to you to a)stay away from him and go NC at all costs b) do NOT keep silent about what has happened you can save your self and others by speaking out. If more people were to speak out then lives would be saved. At least get in touch with your local domestic violence unit/refuge and put it on record what has happened to you. Tell your friends and family...okay you might have egg on your face for letting him into your life again but don't let him humiliate you into silence. Safety comes before pride. Take photo's of you injuries and never EVER be alone with him again....you are in real danger where people like this are concerned and it is not to be taken lightly or labelled as negative it is serious stuff that can at best be that you are scared and emotionally wounded or at worse lose your life. I am not over reacting when I say this to you....he could of killed you. Not all people who commit domestic violence set out to kill their victim but it happens in a flash of anger or a wrong landing when they throw you across a room, No one deserves to be a victim of domestic violence and you have had a lucky escape. Dust yourself off and do the work you need to do to heal and nurture YOU from this awful experience. NC NC NC The link below is just one lovely ladies page I follow on Facebook....this sort of danger is very real and starts out how you described in your post. There are countless woman lose their life in these sort of situations. http://www.facebook.com/StopAllAbuse

I agree with everyone here, it is not "something negative", it is horrible and awful! And nobody has the right under any circoumstances to be physically violent not treathing someone's life. THIS IS A CRIME! Please, get out of your mind that you are somehow "responsible" for that! Even if we go back, even if we beg to take us back, even if we stalk then, no matter what we are doing, it does not (and nothing does) "excuse" the physical violence. Being emotionally violent is one thing. Here we are theoretically equal and can protect ourselves. Being physically violent is TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!! We are not equal with men here and we cannot protect and defend ourselves. WHat can you do againts the gun pointed on you? Oh my God! Sweetheart, I am so sorry for what you have been through. I disagree it is "humiliating" for you. It is not. It is humiliating for him. For me a man who touched a woman is not a man anymore! And I respect you so much for having bee courageous to come here to share it with us, to make an alarm for others. Thank you Love Winter

I know it must have been awfully hard to write about this but I want to thank you because it instantly reminded me of similar times and why I have a right to still be afraid of him. I get so caught up in other peoples advice, my own spinning from trying to weave a decent life out of the remnants and then there is the PTSD to grapple with. An earlier post was commenting on finally being free of thinking of the N as a partner/companion or whatever. I long, long ago stopped thinking of him as anything but scary. I am looking forward to the day when I stop feeling like there is someone waiting to hurt me either emotionally or physically. I went back after he reeled me in quite a few times and it seems like he pressure-cooked until he came after me for some reason or other each time, probably as some sick woman hating punishment. Be careful and do not give him any chance to be near you ever again....

OMG! CT are u ok? Are u in a safe place? Did u lodge a police record? I know u are hurting but plse lodge a police record. I am in the legal industry, i must say these things helps. U will never know when u need these "evidence". I am not sure about jurisdiction in your country but most would just involve a quick examination by a doctor and a record of event with the police. I am worried for your safety. Please keep yourself safe. Your narcky is sick to the core! Hugs!! Be gentle to yourself. Never ever think u deserve it. No one deserve that. No one has the right to do that to u. The law prohibits that. Be good to yourself ok.

I did not call the police. I did tell him I was going to during the attack, which just exacerbated the incident. After it ended, with my sobbing & shaking uncontrollably, he had a look like he snapped out of a trance, hugged me and said "let's flush this down the commode and start over". He said he didn't even remember everything that happened. Sorry to be so harsh, but That is bullsh*t. He totally remembers everything. Get the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and treat it like your Bible. I am glad you are ok. Stay NC please!

That's horrible. I'm sorry you suffered that. Are you alright? Your N is particularly vicious;he cannot ever justify what he did. You did NOTHING to deserve his wrath. Are you safe? Are you back to NC? May God give you healing.

I am so so sorry this happened to you! My first exH did this to me and I know how you feel, we always have the hope they will change for the better but in reality they get worse. I am so thankful you came out of this alive! Stay strong and away from please, next time you may not be so lucky! When they go into a rage like that and black out diring those attacks they can kill you and really think nothing of it. You should ahve made a police report, SAnd told them about the gun, they need to know. But glad you are safe, please stay that way!Lots of love to you!

We all want to 'work it out' with them,,and suffer the insurmountable to make it work, since it seems so right. Point is, all they want to do is use, exploit, lie, and move on. They have NO EMOTIONAL attachment. They are not capable, they are just looking for a quick fix. They are beyond idiots. Yes, they do get violent. That is NOT COOL!!!! They are capable of criminal behavior, okay! They are criminals!!!! We do not need or want to mess with the criinals!!! You better move it on, it is not good there.

Hi ((Crazy Train)), I don't know your story but hope you are ok. Please don't let him ever hurt you again. I'm so sorry he got physical. I don't even know what to say about the madness and senselessness. Just keep yourself away and safe. You are worth so much more than that and no one should ever feel those horrible feelings and have anyone do that to their mind or body. Please be good to yourself and let yourself heal.

omg...i'm SO sorry. I have tears in my eyes reading this. :( You need to go to the police...if not for your own situation, I know that can be hard...think of others he might do this to, and may kill someday. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. That's an understatement. I am aching for you right now. I'm so sorry. Please hear my prayers for you. (((hugs)))

Did you call the police???? YOU DID *NOT* DESERVE THAT AT ALL, IN ANY WAY. We've all broken NC at one point or another and that is NOT a "deserved" outcome for giving someone (unworthy) another chance. I bet you didn't call the police...and I bet I know why. But whether you choose to pursue that or not, PLEASE stay far away from him. Everything he did MINUS the gun was bad enough--this could have been the end of your LIFE. I am so, so sorry. I know I don't have to say it, but will anyway--NC all the way from now. Stay SAFE, please. {{{BIG HUGS}}}