Breisis I need a yelling at:)

Too bad I didn't see what you were up to this week, or I could have told you this was going to happen. Fourth going into the fifth day of withdrawal of ANYTHING (drugs, liquor, sugar, narcs) is the day that smacks you on your ass. That's ALL it is. You would be amazed at how many people say they are feeling GREAT and then cave at that very moment. It's just your brain, sweets. Nothing special about the narc or OW or anything else. Sometime I will try to post the scientific stuff about it. The worst part is you primed your brain with 4 days of NC, so then it was like an extra big hit of yuck when you looked again. Start over, and lock yourself in a closet on day 5.

If we talked face to face instead of online, you would realize I don't yell at anyone (except my dog when he chases my geese :D ). I don't really feel angry when I am "yelling" at you . . . just very concerned, like I want to grab your hand and squeeze it so you'll look me in the eye and hear me :) So there ((((((shortway)))) :D !! You are already talking yourself out of it. You are asking yourself the right questions. Why would you want to be all wrapped up in that toolbag??? AMEN, sista!! You were doing GREAT until you broke NC. Yes, you broke it. By not blocking him, you provided opportunity for some stuff to get through to you. Now you know. It's one of the truly black and white things about recovery from N relationships. You would still be feeling the relief of peace if you'd just blocked him yourself, you'd have never seen that he blocked YOU. Folks here were telling you to block him for a reason, because we have been there/done that and KNEW something like this would happen. WE're not psychics or anything. Just know how these things can happen, and will happen. Why? Because they happened to US :D You have to take care of yourself, Shortway And you haven't been willing to go to the lengths necessary to do that just yet. Hopefully this latest down spiral will help you understand how important it is, how important YOU are, that you don't need this shit messing up your head. In spite of this I see you making huge progress. You are going to get through this. You already have come a long way. When you are on a diet, you don't buy Ho Ho's and keep them in your cupboard, do you? You are sabotaging yourself by having not blocked him. If you block him, when you are having a weak moment, you wouldn't have been able to sneak a peak at his wall page and see him and his new victim. THis is taking care of yourself. None of us are that strong at first. So in your strong times, do what you must to protect yourself for when the weak times come, cuz they will for a while :( One day when you have a child or take care of someone else's child, you'll understand the concept of "baby proofing". You look around the space you are in and note all the areas that the baby can hurt himself on. You cover the electrical outlets, put up stuff on lower shelves, look around the floor for pins and pennies and stuff the kid will inevitably put in their mouth or up their nose. You need to "baby proof" your life right now. Block all avenues that will allow an opportunity for contact. That is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. That way, you will prevent THIS from happening every four or five days, Shortway. This is no way to live. It hurts you, it demoralizes you, you lose confidence in yourself each time it happens, you know?