This breakup has to be the last!

In the last almost 2 yrs I have probably had brief break ups at least 6-7 times. This time around with this breakup I will be successful and not obsess if “ he is thinking of me, does he feel sad, is he calling or texting, is he fighting for my love, is he not functioning because he needs me” Those obsessive thoughts triggered me to answer text messages after telling myself NC. I have more clarity after reading members post and I have to build my worth/confidence internally not externally by his acceptance or desire for me. I finally, finally, finally get it no and matter how much he says he misses me, will make it right , marry me blah blah he is unchangeable! Today is only 2 days of NC and I became a member about a month ago. Even though I gave in during the month of joining this website I continued to read stories every day and presently. My brain has fully got it, now just trying to get the heart to match my brain. I'm sad mourning him but I see other members with situations far far worse than me. my gosh I cry reading their stories but get joy and motivation reading they established NC; best of learning about their peace and confidence without N. I want that!!!! I see it out there, can almost touch it, just around the corner peace, happiness with N out of my life NC no options I know so I blocked N #, will deleted immediately N's texts, not answer unfamiliar or private calls, not answer the door if he stops by, if I run into N immediately leave and not engage in conversation. All it takes for a sick relapse is responding or initiating one form of contact and I back in this sick cycle!!! I am extremely grateful to come across this website- the medicine I need! N2muchpain