Big Bouts of Anxiety.

Wow your words resonated with me. The father of child is very self aobrsbed NARC, living in dream world and looking for new supply. I fear when he finds that because I know even though he can be the worst person I know, I somehow stupidly still love him and it will hurt me so much. Its hard to break way form something you have invested so much of your self into... But your message made me realize so much.... I am not the only woman who has had to be 'present' while he chatted non-stop about himself and flexed his verbal muscles.. not the only woman who tried to have any input in the conversation and got cut me down, he cut down all my opinions, then he even corrected my speaking, he even still corrects my texts... I am not the only one who got insulted and made to feel dumb because he was too self orientated to have an healthy interest in anything I said... not the only woman who got crushed with his over inflated ideas and projections. The less time I give to him now the less time he can use me for that secondary supply... Your message made me feel less fearful of the inevitable. We have a child together so I will have it all in my face when she comes whoever she will be. He will charm her and tell her I was a bad person etc but in the end when he stops putting on the act that he used to lure me deeply in, (the false listening and false caring) she will just be another victim and hopefully she will have more self strength than I did and not sleep with him first time and not to let herself get pregnant. (though I don't regret my lovely boy just that he has a damn difficult father) I also fear that he will find someone like him and they will be self absorbed narcs together and I worry about that being around my child but I heal my mind with meditation and prayer and thoughts of my own happy future and maybe with a kind person who will be a better roll model for my boy... (of course when I am ready cos right now I am embracing returning back to me and who I was before he blew my mind) So thanks for your list it made me realize that if he meets someone new which he will, and he seems deliriously happy and it looks like she is giving him a state of bliss that I could never give then it doesn't matter because at least I will be free to be me and to get on with my life... Thanks 'whatever 2009' stay strong because you know all this is true. You know for sure that he will crap all over her who ever she is and when he does you will be long gone and healing and you will heal... Make the choice to stop being a victim and embrace your own autonomy. Revel in your freedom to listen to speak and love your real friends who allow you that... God bless. V

The heart has a different type of intelligence than the brain and the heart wants love and caring. He couldn't give that. It isn't good to be so disturbed in your sleep that you are getting ill in the morning. Before you go to sleep ask your subconscious to give you an answer to your longing for this guy. You might wake up with an answer. There is a book called "Instant Emotional Healing" by 2 psychologists Peter Labrou and George Pratt, it is a simple set of excercises each one designed for a specific negative emotion. It is accupressure, plus affirmations and is an ancient Chinese system that is 5,000 years old. Anyone can do it for you and it will release the negative tension that the monster caused through abuse and mind control. You are getting rid of all of the poison pills his words and actions deposited in your body, mind and spirit. One of the friends can do the accupressure excercise; love pain is on page 168, loneliness is on page 167. Before your friends come over tonight you might want to put some paper, pens, and ideas out for them to do a burning bowl ceremony. They can put down things they want out of their lives, memories, people, jobs, whatever and before midnight put them in a fireproof bowl and burn the papers. If they want they could write down what they want to come for the new year and read it at midnight.I decorate mine with clip art and different thngs from magazines that suit the thing I am interested in like money, or people, I cut them out or print them out before hand and printout the copy then put it all together. If not too good for a party then you can write your own and read it. Then put the paper by your bed and read your affirmations, requests, ideas, everynight. In 22 days things tend to start coming in your direction. Remembr what you think about you bring about. Reading the paper fixes the things you want in your subconscious and then you are on the 'look out' for paths that will take you to your goals-without even knowing that is what you are doing. Just as the monster put all of those poison pills in you without you knowing it. Save these affirmation lists and read them in the coming years it is really interesting to see how it all works out. By the way I saw the accupressure technique used on a neighbor who was devasted by a break-up when she found the guy had a wife and other girlfriends. The technique worked immediately and she left without anxiety or suffering it is called the ESM protocol. The affirmations that are on the page are: intention statement-I will love again. alternative statements are: I release the past, there is forgiveness in my heart, my heart is filled with hope. Try these on your new years paper. this guy is a king jerk, he is not fixable, and would have done more and more harm to you. You are on your way to great things- he is a loser now and will be a bigger loser in years to come. There is an old song "I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair" from the musical South Pacific- that's what you are doing.