Been a long time coming

As I have worked on myself, I have come to realize a few things, very uncomfortable things, about myself.
I realized that I had allowed life experiences to prime me well for a narcissist. I still haven't pin pointed exactly when I 'turned the corner' and I am not sure it matters, but I did. Early on in my dating life, I had some good relationships with some good men. Somewhere along the line I started allowing minor trespasses on my dignity. Eventually, it escalated to a point where it seemed I would accept someone who would totally step all over my 'rules' on how I wanted to be treated. I only know at this point that I want ME back, the me that had 'normal' relationships with 'normal' men. I want the care and love I give to be reciprocated. I want another whole being to be in my life, or none at all. I want the 'normal' ups and downs of a relationship. I want a person who can feel the full range of human emotions and accepts the same from me. I want a friend. I want a partner. No games. No 'Tag, you're it."
I look back at my childhood and wonder how I ever had any good relationships at all. I wonder why it took so long to catch up to me. Again, I am not sure knowing the whys and whens of all that matters that much. What does matter to me is that I take all the good relationships I have had and accept no less from anyone in my future relationships. I need to know that I, along with every other being, deserve that. I need to internalize that I am worth it, that I am lovable and worthy of respect. I want to go back to when I wasn't exposed to all the games that sick people play and when I wasn't so cold and accepting of pathetic excuses for relationships. I want to be able to trust and love again. I want 'normal' relationships.