Badly Burnt's Story

Here it goes..... this is the first time I have ever experienced such a wild, horrible dating ride! I did not and still do not know what hit me!!!

So, I met ex Narc on a dating site!! Should of been my 1st red flag! But it was my 1st time on a dating site so I had no clue what I was about to get myself into.

We chatted a bit and then met up as friends. We continued a friendship for 3 months before he asked me to kiss him.

He was so handsome, wore the latest name brand clothing, had great taste in everything. He was what I would of thought "out of my league". So when he asked me to kiss him I melted. He was so charming and said all the right things. And Sex was the most amazing experience I had ever had!!

Then it all went down hill. The relationship was mostly text and e mail. Hardly ever any phone calls. I would see him and then he would disappear for weeks on end. Keeping up the texting and e mails but no face to face time. Red flag number 2!!! That I missed again. This continued on for about four months. Then I caught him on a dating site. He had created a new profile and all. I confronted him and ended the relationship. Went two months no contact and me being me, asked to remain friends. I am still friends with all me ex's even my ex husband. It's just the type of good natured person I am. I believe just because a relationship does not work out, don't mean two people can't be good friends after some time.

Well I'm sure you all know what came next...... the "friends with benefits" thing carried out for the next 3-4 months and we spent time together but again it was long and dragged out in between face time but the texts would come and then I would not here from him for a few days. I had myself convinced that he was just afraid of a committed relationship and that if I gave him space and time he would come around. It seemed like every time we got close then he would back off for a few weeks.

Well Valentines day while we were still FWB he sent me flowers to my work. A very public display of affection if you ask me, however 4 nights later he went to the club and was sucking face with some OW. I never herd from him after for 3 months. When OW dumped him, he came crawling back. Said she was the slap in the face he needed to realize I was the women he wanted to marry and he wanted to have my child.... Again all the right words. I fell for it and took him back. But this time I put my foot down and laid out for him what I wanted and expected out of this relationship. He use to say, "how do you like me now?" Said he had not shown me his true self the first time and that if he showed me his true self I might not like him.... RED Flag you think??? Missed that one too...

The relationship traveled the same road all over again. Texts and then days without any contact, have a face to face date and then not see him for weeks. I again confronted him and warned him not to string me along. Said he wasn’t. He had all the right words but no actions to prove any thing.

He told me he loved me!! Ha-ha I laugh at that now. He tried to introduce me to his teenage daughter a few months after we 1st started dating and I told him not to do that till he knew we were serious. A few months later he brought her to my house. A couple years in and I met his mother and 2 of his brothers and maybe 2-3 of his so called friends.

Funny he had girls that were in their 20's as friends and he is in his late 40's. Red Flag????

He went back to the dating site yet again, this time I kept track with out him knowing I knew. He would be on 6-10 times a day for a week and then gone off it for a month or more....

He took off by himself on his Birthday weekend and never replied to any of my texts or phone calls.

Then my BFF caught him red handed on a dating site, he was talking all sexual with her (not knowing it was her) and agreeing to meet up.

That was the final straw for me. It was the piece I needed to put the whole puzzle together. That's when I realized what he was doing on the dating site. On for a week and dragging as many sources to MSN that he could. That would make it look like he was not on the dating sites for a month or more. Yet the whole time he had new sources of supply. Guess where I now believe he went on his B day weekend???? To meet one of those sources. ASSHOLE!!

I was with him on and off for 3 years. The whole thing was a joke to him. I fell head over heals in love. The deepest I ever fell. I spent 4 months after the break up living like a dead person. Could barley function enough to get to work everyday.

Then a friend of mine called him a Narc so I researched it. I was obsessed with learning more and more. I have not stopped learning all about it. Can't say as a normal person that I can understand any of it or comprehend any of it but It has helped me realize what he is and that I deserve way more then that.

I have been NC for 9 months now, the hovering started about a month or two ago. He has befriended my tenant now. And is getting information to me about him and his new long distance relationship and I'm sure asking about me. Even told my tenant that he should ask me out... LMAO I have ignored, and remained NC and plan to forever more.

I am well on my way to recovery. There are still some bad days but more good ones now. Each day gets better. I am so thankful for this site and all the others that are out there on narcissism.

Learning about this disorder and sharing with others is a big part of the healing process.

I hope to one day be totally free of all the missery that the ex Narc has filled me with. I have trouble trusing myself to even make a good decision about who to date so for now I am working on me and my recovery.