Bad day, need advice

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#1 Aug 1 - 6AM
SECM1968
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Bad day, need advice

Hello,

I have had a bit of a bad day, and hope you won't mind if I unload and ask your advice.

XN is a colleague. Thankfully, we don't work together every day, but when we do, I find it very hard.

I have been on vacation for a few weeks. My family and I went on a road trip. We had a really lovely time together, and no contact with XN was BLISS! By the time I went back to work, I was feeling fantastic . . . much stronger and happier than I have felt in a long time.

Yesterday was my first day working again with XN. Most of the day was OK, as I have perfected the art of avoiding direct contact with him, and he seems to be staying out of my way too.

However, it unravelled somewhat when we got to the end of the day. I had to walk past his desk to leave (no other exit). I quickly packed up, and as I began to walk out, I was faced with the decision of whether or not to say goodbye. I don't mean a lingering goodbye; just 'bye' as I walked past him.

For such a small moment in time, it had a big impact on me. I felt sort of frozen and panicked by indecision. I take no-contact seriously, and truly want NO CONTACT with him; not a single word. I avoid even looking at him. Yet if I did not say goodbye, wouldn't that be letting him know he is still affecting me (and therefore providing a ping of supply)? I was also torn between self-preservation, and coming off as childish/petulant. So many conflicting thoughts and feelings churning through my brain in a time span of maybe 20 seconds!

In the end, I just walked out with not a word - but I am still rattled by it.

What are your thoughts on this situation, as it is likely to occur again? I don't know if I did the right thing - or if there even IS a right thing in this situation.

Thanking you.

P.S. I am looking for another job, but I work in a nichey industry (theatre), and finding another role may take some time. Need some tips on riding out the rough spots in the meantime.

Aug 1 - 8PM
SECM1968
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Thank you. PS: CD is a b*tch!

Aug 1 - 10AM
Dallas
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Good Going!

Aug 1 - 10AM
Getting healthy
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Silence=You don't matter to me as you wish

Aug 1 - 10AM
Im_always_fine
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In not saying "bye" you were

Aug 1 - 9AM
sadderbutwiser
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SECM, i agree with everyone

Aug 1 - 10AM (Reply to #18)
Im_always_fine
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The worst thing for a narc to

Aug 1 - 8AM
Luckyescape
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SECM

Aug 1 - 8AM
Laci423
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SECM

Aug 1 - 8AM (Reply to #12)
Laci423
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another thing SECM

Aug 1 - 9AM (Reply to #15)
SECM1968
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Hmmmmmmm

Aug 1 - 8AM (Reply to #13)
Janie53
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Seem

Aug 1 - 9AM (Reply to #14)
Laci423
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How quickly we forget!

Aug 1 - 7AM
Trixy
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he does not exist for you

Aug 1 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
SECM1968
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Thanks Trixy.

Aug 1 - 8AM (Reply to #10)
Used
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sec

Aug 1 - 8AM (Reply to #9)
Trixy
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I get that

Aug 1 - 7AM
SECM1968
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Thank you....

Aug 1 - 7AM (Reply to #6)
Janie53
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Silence is not supply

Aug 1 - 7AM (Reply to #4)
SECM1968
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Sorry...typo. Correct comment below.

Aug 1 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
ItsFinallytime
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No, it doesn't say "you still

Aug 1 - 7AM
Janie53
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Secm

Aug 1 - 7AM
Used
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sec