Are Narcs oblivious to the pain the inflict?

I am in tight in crazy making behavior. I have asked to have my needs met over and over in many different ways. Seemingly falling on deaf ears. Nothing ever changes or moves forward, always in reverse or goes to a new level of low. Then I am apologizing for him not meeting my basic needs of feeling love, respected, accepted, appreciated. I am then told I do this to myself, my actions and mine alone reflect the state I am in. In a way he is right, I know... Definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, but come on! Can they not see you are hurting because of their reaction or lack thereof? I know the answer just reinforce it and have done.

Need out but walking away with shirt on my back but maybe my sanity

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