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Are all men freaks?

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#1 Dec 6 - 12AM
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

Are all men freaks?

This is a title of a sex and the city episode and I am starting to believe that it rings true.

Every guy I meet is a freak....the way they are so honest and up front about being typical men. It seems it is ok in society that they behave the way they do. Women on the other hand are labled sluts and all sorts of horrible labels. Yet we just shrug when men are so predictable.

I think the Narc experience has opened our eyes wide open to things we never saw in men before. The red flags pop up and I notice them this time.

Are there any decent men out there? A lot of my generation (Gen Y) seem to be Narcs, it is the social norm. It is acceptable in todays society.

It seems like guys are only after one thing ever and never want to actually take you out and get to know you.

Even the Narc fooled me into thinking he was interested in getting to know me at the start, taking me on dates, making an effort.

So there are Narcs who make the effort and turn out to be bastards. Then there is the "normal" guys who openly express that they only want one thing from you.

Are all men freaks?

I'd like to hear some people's dating stories since the Narc. What are we all in for? LOL

Dec 6 - 9AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

they are not all freaks, but

I am of the baby boomer generation, but i have to say VERY difficult to meet a man without a lot of marriages or baggage and many are very self absorbed. I have had no luck thus far.......it is tough out there to find decent, good men who are not already married
Dec 6 - 6AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Dating right now, is not

Dating right now, is not recommended. Until you have come through the end of your journey, you shouldn't even consider dating. Right now, concentrating on healing is of the utmost. And adding a "new" personality to the mix, just interferes with the process in my opinion. As of now, everyone you meet will posess the qualities of the disordered, and red flags will be abundant, and just cause you more confusion during your journey. And we have enough confusion as it is. Look at me for instance, I am putting behind, the narcs and my experiences and low and behold, an issue with a "friend" pops up into the mix. There are so many hurdles to jump over during this time, not just the "narcs" in our lives. You have plenty of time to figure out the dating scene, when you are ready. But if you are looking for an honest answer to your question, "are all men freaks" the answer would be "yes" during your journey and "no" once you have healed.
Dec 6 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Hermes
Hermes's picture

Agree Sparrow

So very right! I agree entirely that now is not the time for dating, and as you say there is enough confusion as it is. One is not fit for human consumption post-N! The confusion can cause a sort of snow-blindness, and the tendency is to see Ns under every bush and behind every fence!. It all takes time. Hermes
Dec 6 - 5AM
Hermes
Hermes's picture

Puzzle. No

No, of course not all men are "freaks". I don't think one can make the term NPD synonymous with men. It is unfair. I know many good men, my friends' husbands are good, decent, honest and normal types. So was my father, and so is my brother. So no they are not all "freaks". What is a "typical" man. Is there such a thing? And it depends on the type of circles you move in, Maybe. There are of course differences between men and women (just as well!). And another thing, it is up to ourselves to set healthy boundaries. Hermes
Dec 6 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
Winter
Winter's picture

Agree Hermes

What is "typical"? Well, maybe that an "average" man is more physical and less emotional than an "average" woman? Just by nature, evolutionary. Now, what differentiate a normal man from a narc (or a jerk) is the ability "to give" versus only "take". Same for women btw. I normal guy would feel an emotional pleasure when he pleases you emotionally, even if this part is less important for him that the physical one. And my answer is also NO! Not all men are freaks. There are a lot of worthy men.
Dec 6 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
Hermes
Hermes's picture

Yes, Winter

Thank you. There are indeed a lot of worthy men. Of course men are different by nature, and that is what I like about them. LOL. Heh heh. You are so right in your description. And Sparrow's post is right on the money too. Hermes