Appreciation of Children with the Narc

if i'd had children with the psycho...i'd be writing this from prison.....because i would have killed the bastard years ago....... he treated my pets horribly...neglecting them...insanely jealous of them......despising them...... it woul have been the same way with children..... i cannot imagine the daily battle of having one of these bastards hanging around your children...... they all need to die......

Dear Amazed....I'm sorry that your dream of children was never realized. And thank you for your thoughts of support. I am thankful each and every day for my kids. While only one of my four is with the ExN, because he impacts me so much, it in the end impacts all of us. And the older three spent 7 yrs in the household with him. Just this morning as I was getting my coffee, I was telling myself that I want to focus on enjoying them more. They are amazing people. And it's because of the kids I even made it out. I probably would've given up. I hope some how you can build a family of your own. You obviously have a lot of love to give.

So heartbreaking to read your post. Yes, the same situation with me. My daughters worshipped this man. I couldn't believe it. They had been so hurt by their father's abuse since they were born. That they could love a man again, trust a man again, gave me such joy and hope. He loved them so much. Then, poof! Gone. And not just gone but nasty. When I'd say, please talk to them, please come see them, they don't know why you're gone, he'd say, "Oh, please." or "They need to grow up." About the baby: it was something we both said we wanted from the beginning: our own child. I was 39 when we met. Even two weeks ago I asked if he would get another foster child if his went back home, and he said, "I want a baby with you SOMEDAY." I said, as if he was four, "I'm 43 years old. Make sure you tell God to make me fertile when you're ready." I had already told him last year that my fertility was almost nonexistent, that my doctor said, "Do it now." The rules of the universe just don't apply. The others are right: These men are NOT father material.

It's bad enough to have your heartbroken by them but its ten times harder to see your children's hearts broken as well. They value no one. I'm sorry amazed. Maybe the man upstairs has something else planned for you. If its any comfort, be glad that a child didn't have to endure the same pain he put you through...

sigh...this was heartbreaking to read...I know it wasn't your intent, but it made me sad to know because of this disgusting creature, you didn't have some of those dreams realized. I promise that if you did have a child WITH him, it would have been such a struggle. As a child of an N mother, it would have been okay with me if my dad just raised us alone. I think because of this, I was determined to be different with my kids, and shower them with 'I love you's' and hugs whenever I could. My ex asked me to marry him, painted a beautiful picture of our life together to come, then just disappeared. The dream was gone as if I just woke up from sleeping. In the end, I feel thankful we were not married after all. I'm so sorry for all of your pain, and for everyone here who has suffered so profoundly... (hugs to you)

I Worship my kids - they rock! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller