Anyone's narc go into overdrive with NS?

My narc after the mask was ripped off seem to go into overdrive with getting as much NS as possible . It was like I was catching him looking at other women , trying to get a chance to meet women even at my son's daycare, it was plain ridiculous . Mask ripped off , he hoovers me in , then I notice he is desperately trying to get as much NS from as many people as he could . The OW doesn't wasn't special and neither was I . Hell noone was...

wacaet's picture

Mine was in overdrive during our relationship, I just didn't know it. When I got into his email, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of women he was (somewhat) keeping up with and the lies & excuses he gave when he reeled them back in after a d&d. How the hell he kept track I do not know. I know I'm the only one he called daily but still, there were so many and he was a different person with each one, it boggles the mind! (and he had a wife & kids and a demanding job to boot)
findingmeagain's picture

thats funny you said he was different with each one. i think mines was mirroring me at first but then i've got to admit i think i started mirroring him right back. i guess thats why we argued so much. He wouldn't speak and i wouldn't either, the sick part is i think he knew i was mirroring him so thats why he kept the cheating from me. its took me years to find out, he portrayed himself to be trustworthy. i remember a conversation came up about cheating and i told him if i ever found out about it i wouldn't say anything and would just do it back then kick him out. so he made sure he kept his sh*t a secret for awhile but when i found out and changed the locks. i was shocked first we had been together alot of years at this point. so for him to cheat now was beyond me. i didn't react like i should've. i look back now and i shouldn't have told him i knew. i should've did what i told him i would. i hate myself for being so faithful to him it was plenty of goodlooking guys i could've been with. you know when he hoovered me and came back for those few days is when i noticed how the mask was gone and he didn't care.i caught him looking at other women, he asked several times to take my son to daycare and was very adament about it. so i suspect he was gonna get with one of the teachers there or something smh. it was so obvious now. i remember we had a conversation the first hoover he did and came back and he said "you never cheated on me ever"? I said no! he said that as if he couldn't believe i didn't so i suspect alot of women probably more than just the two i found out about.
Lobo555's picture

Mine would hit on my *friends* right in front of me. Horrid. Why did I get sucked back in after the very first time *that* happened???? He said he liked to flirt. (Translation: I like to f*** anything that moves. Don't mind me.)
mynewlife2011's picture

I do not believe they ever receive too much attention, and admiration. You know their ego is like the size of texas so they have to feed that ugly wretched monster everyday!!
findingmeagain's picture

After the mask was ripped off he seem to just let it all out . He didn't even try to hide it anymore. And I actually wanted this man back. Imagine what life would be like , constantly having to feel like I've got to watch everything he does and probably having to bug the house because I would be scared he would bring someone in my house. Thats not living! I often question myself as if this was my fault some kind of way. I was not the type to give him ego strokes. I mean I would tell him thats great or tell him something like that. But I rarely said things like I love you. I guess in my subconcious I felt like he wasn't a real man and I was unhappy but yet I still stayed. You see when they're not happy they don't, never again will I put my feelings aside for someone else. I'm starting to think am I developing into a narcissist is this my fault he left ??? I was supportive if he was right but if he was wrong I told him he would often ask me who side are you on?? I would say the right side. I never bend the rules for him, i never really told him i LOVE YOU everyday like you see on the movies. I suspect thats what the married OW does and i just didn't . I think its my fault he is gone.