Is anyone else literally frightened of the Narc effect?

Not sure how to explain this, but I will give it a go.

I am literally scared of the effect this experience has had on me, and continues to do so.

Never in my whole life have I been so unhinged by another person.

I am working on recovery, sure. But I feel so out of control. I am frightened by how long this is taking; by the thoughts I can't seem to shake; by the mental space it is taking away from my family (who I love so very much). It feels like XN has taken root in my brain, like a cancer. And just like if I really did have a tumour growing in my head, I am terrified I will never get over it. Sometimes it also feels like a demon has taken residence in my body, and that I am responsible for my own exorcism.

Does anyone else feel not just confused and sad, but also SCARED?

Thanks for reading. I know it probably sounds like crazy talk. Feeling crazy scares me too, by the way!