Any married women like me who fell prey to a single, divorced Narc?

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#1 Mar 29 - 12AM

Arwen

Any married women like me who fell prey to a single, divorced Narc?

I am coming out of this situation with a great deal of shame about my own behavior as a married woman but I understand why this happened with my particular marriage and with the narc who I have known since I was a young teenager and reconnected with me on FB after thirty years of not seeing each other. I am having SUCH a hard time with it and there are so many bizarre, dark and disturbing and painful experiences I need to talk to someone about who has gone through this. One of the greatest sources of shame was his ultimately calling me a whore because I am the married one - that was just the best! NOT.

Please send me an e-mail if you can talk and thanks

#2 Mar 30 - 10PM

loveofmylife

Ditto

With everyone else. Married. Never felt connected. Narc pursued me from day 1 that I met him. Little did I know that his pursuit was not really to have me, but for me to be in love with him so that he would feel good. Like everyone else here, he made me feel alive and like the person God intended me to be. I felt whole and complete for the first time since being married. Flattered me, "love" bombed me by calling 10 times a day, texting a dozen times and dozens of emails a day and this went on for years. I shared more innermost thoughts and feelings with him than anyone in my life. He was divorced and single. Gorgeous hunk...and I fell for it. I've been faithful my entire marriage of 23 years except for 23 years of emotional affair with Narc. I thought he thought I was "THE ONE" too, until I found out there were a dozen other women who also thought he was "THE ONE". And he has several other married women in an emotional affair, just like me. And somehow he justifies it that he is OK to do this; I think he thinks he is God's gift to women...and if he can help ease their painful marriage - well that is what he as put on this planet to do!

#3 Mar 30 - 4AM

JRB123

Thanks for starting this thread

I can't thank you enough for starting this thread. I can relate to every one of the posts, the feelings of coming alive again, feeling like a teenager, the shame and guilt about behaving out of character, no one to confide in etc. There are so many similarities to my recent experience. Actually just recently the N has been hoovering. We have to drop children off at school (his son in same class as my daughter) and it was like he was waiting for me the other day. He also came over and smiled (I legged it!). Even though I have unfriended him on FB, he comments all over mutual friends posts that he knows I read (might have to block him). I thought maybe he does really like me and started to feel an attraction again. However reading this forum this morning, particularly the one about being followed to the shops, has made me feel really strong again and determined to stick to NC as best as I can. Honestly and truly you have all really helped me get back a clearer perspective on the reality of the situation. Thanks

#4 Mar 29 - 10PM

kgirl

add me to the list....

I have tears in my eyes.....you are not alone and now I can see that neither am I. My story is a little different because I became involved with another woman whom I believe to be an N. I have been married for 17 years. I have a successful career, 4 great kids, a nice and comfortable life. My husband is a great guy, but things felt stagnant at the time.....he was distracted and heavily involved in training for triathlons. I found myself feeling lonely and having time on my hands in the evenings. I met a woman, she seemed so amazing and the perfect companion. I could never imagine that things would develop like they did....she pursued me and I went along with it. The guilt of that eats away at me. I should have gotten out when those boundaries were crossed. I thought it was true love....now I am just learning and trying to accept that I was just her extension. It makes me so sad that I ruined my integrity, set aside my morals for something that wasn't even real. With more information and the support here...I'm feeling hopeful and I hope you are as well.

#5 Mar 29 - 8PM

Arwen

Thank you for your honesty EVERYONE

G-d I feel better hearing everyone else's stories. Since coming to these boards I feel both excited to be among such dear friends and very depressed as well because all of my present longing for the Narc is being blown to the bits of reality that I know must happen. At the bottom of everything I am just so, so, so sad and devestated that I am not in his arms and to think that other women are. Jesus...my marriage was wrong from the get-go and I knew it but now I have these two beautiful, loving small children that I would do anything for and I don't feel that I can break up the marriage. I am in therapy not once but twice a week now to see if I can ever work this out with my husband or leave which scares the crap out of me but facing the truth has been far better than living this constant lie. My husband is a good man but has an awful background coming from the most narcissistic and critical parents I have ever come across in my life. He is so caught up in his own demons and depressed that I am rarely "seen" - he is a teenager. He has no comparison to the recent Narc or narcs in my life, but, I have been through hell trying to be happy with him. So along came this beautiful, beautiful man from my past - my first boyfriend in fact, and it was just too much for me. I miss him so much I can barely get through the days. I think to myself, if I were with someone who really made me happy I wouldn't be giving this Narc a second thought. I didn't for thirty years and now suddenly he's taken hold of my whole life????? There were SO MANY red flags that I did take notice of from the beginning with him, but I was so dead emotionally in this marriage that the roller coaster I knew I was about to go on was more exciting to me than anything I could think of. The thing is, I believe this Narc loves me. That's what worrying me. He took and took from me and never gave anything back. That I see that as love is shocking. I grew up that way so I am not surprised. Thank you for this board and your honesty. I'm holding on to all of you like lifeboats right now.

#6 Mar 29 - 11PM (Reply to #26)

Samantha

Yep, I'm married too

Add me to the list of married women who had an affair with a narc. He and I were on the same team and started off as friends. I, too, was bored in my marriage and flattered by the attention from an attractive, younger man. He was (still is for all I know) married too, plus there's the added karma hit I took that his wife was pregnant when we started. I ignored so many red flags and acted in a way that is in direct contradiction to everything I believe. I had anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep more than four hours at a time and lost 20 pounds. My husband found out and somehow, I'll never know how, is forgiving me. Our marriage is stronger and happier than it's been in years. I completely understand you feel guilty and can't believe the mess you got yourself into. Just remember the lies you were told and realize you were manipulated. Think about those red flags you ignored. A true partner doesn't take from the other person and leave her an empty shell. It hurts now but you are going to come out of this so strong and know who you are and what your needs are. I refuse to let my exN "win" by letting my guilt get the better of me. Life is better without those emotional vampires sucking our energy away.

#7 Mar 29 - 8PM (Reply to #25)

gettinbetter

Mine was only my 2nd sexual

Mine was only my 2nd sexual partner

#8 Mar 29 - 8PM

Finally Faced It

Guilty as charged!!!

@Patience Goal - You are not alone. I think we could all start a "In-an-unfulfilled-but-not-horrible- marriage-but-a-Narc-from-high-school-targeted-me-on-Facebook" Club. And, it's all a blur...a bad dream. Like how the f*ck did I get to this point?! Yes. I do think these guys target married women and long-distance women. They like built-in obstacles. "If only we lived closer..." "If you weren't married, we could..." "You're the love of my life, it's too bad timing is off..." Blah, blah, blah. This site is a lifesaver and I just joined yesterday too!! Email me direct if you want to chat. I'm so done! Peace & contentment to all, FFI

#9 Mar 29 - 10PM (Reply to #23)

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

I agree they target married women.

My ex Narc recently told me that "Married women are easier because they're lonely and neglected and stuck at home, and if you just show them a *little* attention, they respond. Single women are more difficult because they're out dating and have more options." I asked him how many married women he had been with and had relationships with, but he wouldn't tell me. I know that his previous victim was also a married woman he connected with on FB and he always said she pursued him, but I'm beginning to doubt that now. It's possible, but who knows and it doesn't matter anyway. It turns out he was still in a relationship (end stages) with her when he started pursuing me. A few months ago I started to feel like history was repeating itself with him looking for another relationship while he continued to keep me around and string me along until he found someone new. I confronted him and he denied it, but that's exactly what happened. And he also used the obstacles which HE KNEW ABOUT when he first pursued me as excuses for why things ultimately didn't work out. "You're married..." "You live 3,000 miles away..." "I'm lonely and need someone who's here..." I always loved that he knew what he was getting into (as opposed to me) and pursued me anyway, and then got angry and held it against me later. BTW, he was married too and I didn't know it until after we were already involved. He said they were in a bad marriage and were talking divorce, which actually was true.

#10 Mar 29 - 9PM (Reply to #20)

Timehelps2

The Advantages of the married woman for a narc

Looking back, what could be more ideal for a narc than a woman who had restrictions to her schedule, had to be secretive, couldn't take her on vacations or buy things for, and probably had finacial security? How easy was it to cheat on someone who could never spend the night with you? And don't forget the guilt of I love you but you're married so what else can I do do but wait for you? What a total mind f and guilt in every direction. I worked with mine and part of the cover up was his flirting with other women at work because that would make it less obvious about us. Of course how could I justify being jealous when I was MARRIED? What a nightmare.

#11 Mar 30 - 9AM (Reply to #21)

Finally Faced It

Don't forget "Vulnerable Single Moms"

I actually think they like vulnerable, single Moms too! It gives them another built-in obstacle...but likely free weekends twice a month when the children are at their Dad's house. This is the PERFECT set-up for a Narc. They have freedom for almost two weeks and then a weekend of "bliss" with their Madonna. He has is secondary supply on call...but only has to truly be in the relationship a few days a month. But, he's not a crazy disordered assh*le...cuz, see he has this normal girlfriend on my arm at events. Oh, and don't forget to notice how nice I treat their children...buy them gifts, etc.nand "Honey, you need quality time with your children. I understand." And, "I know we've been together for years....but we can't get married, because it's not in the best interest of the children..." Blah, blah, blah. That's is the exact relationship my Narc is in now. And she will likely never leave or find out his ways/ Of course, he tells me that he thinks she is a bad mom, her daughter is a spoiled brat and her son is a punk. I actually had to put him in his place and speak up for his girlfriend. He has no idea what it's like to be a parent. Unbelievable. I'm so done! Peace & contentment to all, FFI

#12 Mar 31 - 2PM (Reply to #22)

Timehelps2

He's on to mom #3

That I know of in the same job in less than 2 years! His latest is a single mom with a disabled child. I feel like he's sharpening his skills with every new person, like working out a formula and keeping the parts that work best to use next time. By the way, he was unbelievable with my children. Melted my heart how much he adored them and wanted to treat them as his own. Until I started to get a creepy feeling in the end about the way he treated my older daughter. I can't stand that I exposed them to this person because of my blind affection for him.

#13 Mar 29 - 8PM

FINALLYFREE2BME

Me, too...

Hi, I was married, too, when I met the N. (I'm new here, but have been reading the boards for years. I'm 5 years out of the N relationship I left my family for). I completely understand how you feel. The N relationship stole my morals, values and self respect. The biggest thing for me is to get over is the guilt. I'm still working on it. Like you, I was a faithful wife, married 17 years with two kids. I was a school teacher and I wore mom jeans for goshsakes! I had only slept with one person in my life (my now ex-husband). Never in a gazillion years would I think I'd ever do anything like I did. I wouldn't even want anything to do with people who cheated! Well... never say never I guess. I think there were alot of reasons we did what we did. Sure we might've had a bad/weak marriage, or were going through midlife crisis or overwelmed with responsibilities, etc, etc. But we also were hunted down. I bet many of us wouldn't have left if we hadn't been manipulated, brainwashed and pursued. I know I wouldn't have. When the N was pursuing me I tried to fight it. I even tossed my cell phone into the delta so I couldn't get his calls. Then he'd just follow me to the store or to work (which I mistook for unrequited love and attention. LOL!). Once he had me, he also called me a "whore", slut, etc for cheating. (Even though he was hiding a long term girlfriend). He said if he ever went back to work (he was on disability) he'd have to keep me locked inside a box because I couldn't be trusted. Nice. Anyways, back to the guilt. Yes, we did what we did. But that doesn't mean we're bad people. Some might think it's karma and, trust me, there is nothing anyone can say about me that is worse than what I've said to myself. Sure we did do it, however we momentarily lost ourselves and our judgement. We were not in our right minds. All we can do now is acknowledge our mistake, atone to whomever we've hurt, and move forward and promise ourselves never to compromise our values again. We've paid our debt tenthousand fold. Don't keep making yourself pay. I know it's hard, like I said I still struggle to forgive myself, but the N has beaten us up bad enough. We don't need to continue to do his work. Take care, FF2BM

#14 Mar 29 - 6PM

Timehelps2

One more married affair

I'm another married one. I had never had an affair before. I never even went out looking for it. I think these people can see the loneliness in us and pry into that and fill that place. I'd like to ask how many of you are like me. I had everything that LOOKED like it was perfect. Husband, kids, house, money, I was confident, outgoing & happy, a busy life with instresting things to do. That was on the outside, which was attractive to him but after I let my gaurd down there were the doubts and insecurities I hid about myself. I felt like I was doing it all alone without a partner to hold my hand and walk with me. Yes, I said I looked like I had it all including a husband. But I felt like a mirror for him. That reference was startling when I read it because I always said that to him. I could be anyone to you I'm just a mirror to you so you can talk about yourself. I was unhappy for years in my marriage and the N spent endless time talking, listening (discovering my weakness) and obsessivly pursuing me. He was many years my junior and after having an emotionally and physically empty relationship for over a decade in my marriage I totally caved to his advances and flattery. I just sort of said what the f* this is probably the last time I'll ever have this opportunity to enjoy life a little. What I thought was going to be a little fling he turned into "love", talk of marriage, family & commitment to a future together. I had enough gut feeling to leave my husband after breaking up with my N. Something just nagged at me that he wouldn't be there to catch me in the end. I wrote a bit about this in other posts. I painted myself into a world of lies and secrets to be with him. I still live with this guilt. I've been honest with my husband and children about what happened and they know who I am (still) dealing with but I've destroyed what I had. I have to say that I can't be sorry I met him because as I was sorting out the nightmare of breaking off the affair I discovered that my husband is a narc too, not as close to a sociopath as this other guy though. I seem to pick the same personality over and over! As I read about narcs, sociopaths, NPDs, cluster B personalities, etc... (I must be at least into a masters degree by now!) I kept going that's this guy but that's my husband too! So now I'm on my own, seperated and for the first time in a very very long time feeling I am becoming my true self again. I had become a shell of a person in my marriage with no opinions or will to disgree or cause reasons for tension. So as painful as my lesson with this affair with a N has been I have to owe him the gratitude of giving me that final kick in the a$$ to WAKE UP! Don't misunderstand, I'm not gleeful to have had this encounter. I'm just seeing the good in coming out the otherside because I'm sure I'd still be stuck in the same place otherwise, probably back on antidepressants to numb the pain and emptiness and curb the anger of a disfunctional marriage. I am so thankful to have this forum. Even though I don't post a lot it's been a life saver to be able to read and connect, especially since I still live mostly in secret since I can't really discuss details with my family and no one else knows. I really hate that. Realization can be a bitch but hiding get us no where good in the end! Hugs to you all!

#15 Mar 30 - 1AM (Reply to #17)

dudette

We could be sisters...

and our narcs could be brothers... yup, a familiar story! Good luck with the recovery x x x x

#16 Mar 29 - 8PM (Reply to #14)

Jewwell

Cargoods

Our stories are SO similar in many ways. I've been married 27 years - lonely both physically and emotionally. I thought the physical part was just due to busy lives/getting older, etc. but just the emotional connection (on MY part with the N) has jump-started desires! Our relationship has been mainly phone since he moved and we "fooled around" some physically. I went to see a therapist (2 times) and although she is GREAT and she GETS IT - she told me she thinks my husband is an N also. It was just too much for me at that time and I haven't been back to see her since (I will go back, though). Many of SOI's posts have really hit home with me -- I was raised in a Catholic family where there really was just one right way to do things. I have always stuck with things way too long and have always been a people pleaser. Right now, I feel overwhelmed by it all by knowledge is power and when they time is right for ME, I will make my move.

#17 Mar 29 - 10PM (Reply to #15)

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

I can relate....

to the loneliness both physically and emotionally. I too thought the physical part was due to changing hormones, peri-menopause and just getting older. I had started to feel completely asexual, with no desire whatsoever. And along comes the Narc and I feel like a teenager again! A woman, with all that entails! He woke up a part of me that had been dormant for years, that I thought was gone due to age, not my relationship with my husband. I think that's a huge part of the attachment to this guy. I had chemistry and passion with him that I hadn't had in years, and that I never had with my husband. Even with everything I know about him now, I think that's part of my addiction to him. It's something that was missing in my life and I didn't want to give up. There's the emotional component too. There was so much intimacy between us (or so he pretended and I thought) that I also didn't have with my husband. Even now it's hard to believe the intimacy wasn't real.

#18 Mar 29 - 10PM (Reply to #16)

Timehelps2

Hard to let it go

I had a very hard time ending my relationship. He was 15 years my jr and I was totally addicicted to him. I think I also knew that once we were no longer a couple working would be difficult. I hate to admit it but I still miss the physical closeness I had with him. Even though I would never be with him now I remember that it felt really nice while it was still good between us. But then I think of all the lies and what he must have said to the OW about me to secure her and that pops the balloon real quick!

#19 Mar 29 - 4PM

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

OMG! Do we have the same Narc?

Your situation is so similar to mine. I too am married and reconnected with a high school classmate on FB after 28 years of not seeing each other. We were never more than classmates, but I'd known him since the 7th grade and was aware he'd had a crush on me in high school. I always thought of him as just a shy, sweet guy (which he was in school), and what everyone thinks when they first meet him now. We were just politely friendly on FB for months and there was never anything inappropriate between us, but I look back now and see how he gradually infiltrated my world. I had been faithfully married for 20 years and there were some problems in my marriage (internet porn, lack of physical affection and virtually no sex for the past few years) that I know made me receptive to the Narc's attention. It's like he sensed my vulnerabilities and preyed on them. I'm not excusing my behavior, but if things were right in my marriage, I wouldn't have responded the way I did. Our affair was a symptom of the things wrong between my husband and I, combined with the Narc's targeting me. He actually told me later on there was no doubt in his mind he would "have" me, but he had to make sure and take it slow and do everything just right to not scare me off. He was calculating and manipulated my like a puppet from the beginning. Because he lives in California and I live in Pennsylvania, I never thought in a million years we would end up having a long-distance, physical as well as emotional relationship that would last a year. I also have friends and family in California (that's where we grew up and went to school together), so I took several trips back there to see them and the Narc as well. I'm new to this board and haven't told my story yet, but that's the beginning. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in being married and taken in by a predator like this. I too know the guilt and shame you feel going outside your marriage, and how you have to keep it a secret for fear of being judged. Until I read your post, I wasn't sure whether or not I was going to reveal the fact I was married when I made the mistake of a lifetime falling in love with a Narc. In some ways, I feel I deserve the pain I'm going through right now because I was unfaithful. You know, Karma and all that. And as Dr. Phil says, "When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences." So I'm glad I found this board and it's been very helpful and validating to know there are others who have gone through and are going through the same thing.

#20 Mar 29 - 8PM (Reply to #11)

Finally Faced It

Glad I'm not alone...

@ Smitten Kitten. Ditto. All of it. Facebook. High school friend/acquaintance. Knew each other since 7th grade. He had a crush on me in high school. He was slow and deliberate on Facebook. My own marriage was unfulfilling & had many weak spots. Even down to the long-distance thing. AND...he still lives near our hometown in California!! Uggggghhhhh. It all makes me sick. I do feel responsible for my own pain because I was a willing victim. I could have walked away at any time, but I didn't. I've Finally Faced It...the reality of the situation & the person he is. I'm so done! Peace & contentment to all, FFI

#21 Mar 29 - 10PM (Reply to #12)

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

Wow! Sounds like the same guy!

I remember trying to walk away more than once, even before it got physical, and I couldn't! I knew I was playing with fire and that I should. I should have been trying to fix my marriage instead. But whenever I tried, the pain was unbearable. Even in the beginning. What's up with that? I was so addicted and still am to this guy, even though he dumped me for someone else January 29th and we've been NC for 2 weeks, and he's so not worth it!

#22 Mar 29 - 8PM (Reply to #10)

gettinbetter

Things were not bad in my

Things were not bad in my marriage. Maybe a little routine but thats life but certainly not bad. This man was also from my past and he pushed every emotional button I had. Thank God though he didnt destroy my marriage. I am married to a good man nothing like that pig.

#23 Mar 29 - 2PM

prettypeeved

Not married, but might as

Not married, but might as well be. Plus I'm gay. I'm not proud of what I put my partner through.

#24 Mar 29 - 1PM

JRB123

married too

Hi there, I'm married too and it also started on FB. Luckily it didn't progress from there in to anything physical. I also had a much more serious N experience when I was single in my 20s. I understand your feelings of guilt and agony about it all. I go through the same. I know in our day to day marriage my husband and I forget to be interested in each other and sometimes life becomes task orientated esp as our kids are quite young. Then along comes a N who shows interest, flatters you and tells you all those things you want to hear. They mirror behaviours so you think you have found a soul mate. So it is very easy to get sucked in to it. I am not proud of myself as generally I am not one to seek attention and I can't believe I lapped it all up. Also I know how hard it is to not talk about it as the shame and risks are too high. Only one good friend knows and people on this website. I have just booked my 1st counselling session in May to try and discover why I did this and to also help me not obsess about it all. I also have discovered through reading on various boards that married women are often targetted by Ns. It all sucks really and personally I feel like I am just about done with men. I am here if you ever need to chat. I find as well that the lovely ladies on this board are so understanding and non judgemental.

#25 Mar 29 - 11AM

Jewwell

Yes, many married women on this board!

Yes, there are many married women on this board - myself included! - who have fallen for N's. That is why this board is so critical for our sanity because many of us have no where else to turn. Please - do not feel shame. It is self-destructive.

#26 Mar 29 - 11AM (Reply to #6)

Arwen

thank you

Jewwell...thank you. I do feel amazing shame, and he re-inforced that so many times to me, that I am a whore and also that I had absolutely no rights in the relationship since I was married. There were scenes of single women who showed up right in front of me when I was out with him that he ignored me for RIGHT there! When I complained he basically said I had no right. I just need to keep coming back to this board and venting. But I also feel that I am boundariless to have gone outside the marriage. This is where the shame comes in, so much so that it's eating me alive. I feel that I am as bad as the Narc for my infidelity.

#27 Mar 29 - 11AM

helldweller

being married

I DIVORCED my husband for the narc, because he said he wanted to get married and that he loved my kids, wanted to have babies, etc. I had been with my husband for ten years, through a lot of awful stuff. I went to court a total of two times before it was final. One of the "reasons" the narc used to defend his unwillingness to actually marry me was that he couldn't trust me because I had left my husband. Keeping in mind that my husband lost his job after a drunken rage during which he destroyed everything in our house, we lost our house because he wouldn't get another job, we lost all of our savings, he committed arson and went to prison, and I was evicted and had to move into a trailer with a friend 200 miles from our home. This over the course of ten years, and I still stayed with him. I only finally divorced him FOR the narc, but the narc used it as an example of how he couldn't trust me to stay with him if he married me. Even after I found out about the other five women and told him to go to hell, he said, "See? I knew I couldn't count on you to stick by me."

#28 Mar 29 - 11AM (Reply to #4)

Arwen

Thanks helldweller...great screen name btw

thank you for sharing that. I feel better knowing I am not the only one who was perfect prey for this narc in a marriage that has been really hard for me. The second I told this narc that I talked to my husband about a separation everything fell apart. He also said he wanted my kids, a big family and more children and I was always thinking "yeah, right...you can't even take care of yourself". Thank you.

#29 Mar 29 - 9AM

Hunter

What's going on? They play

What's going on? They play headfuck! Go NC and get your life back! Babysteps! Idealk

#30 Mar 30 - 1AM (Reply to #2)

dudette

Same here -could be brothers

Hey - this is the story of both myself and the current GF in one. 15 years of marriage that was truning sour but still looking good on the surface. He saw right through that though. and when he gave me the "my wife is crazy" routine, I believed him and at first was very supportive. My best friend had just committed suicide. He was an ideal replacement as I was riddled with guilt...and no, I had never cheated before either. He worked on me for over a year with the push-pull, declared himself and I engaged in what proved to be the worst mistake of my life. He then used the fact that I am \french to accuse me of being a serial adulterer because it was in my culture. I defende myself bravely.... One day I was approached my a disabled owman he worked with as her boss who told me about their relationship. Same time as me.... she was discarded on account of some old GF from 35 years ago he had discarded once already but had got int touch with again.... when I confronted him he told him he did those things because I was married and not available to him. I made myself available but refused to move in and save his finances etc....I wanted time on my own to reflect... Then he got me "accidentally " pregnant.... I rerminated it because there was no security for this child, the circumstances were bad and it was meant to be an "accident". I did not think he wanted the complication. He started on the silent treatment, which I read quickly as pulling away and dumped him. he hoovered only to tell me that was he was in love with olf GFD but loved me too. Could we still have sex? I said no and walked away.... Olg GF is married too interestingly so he will pull the same one on her and is cheating on her already. However, she's been warned but still will not see reason. She is giving her life up from him. She is living with her elderly mum and sister. she sees him at week ends and holidays..... how long before she gets D and D not sure. he needs to marry her for her husbad's money and the house etc.... That poor woman....

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