Anger has passed, stuck in sadness & denial
Anger has passed, stuck in sadness & denial
I stayed in touch with my first love, who broke my heart when I was in my late teens, every year or two, just to check in. I was long past my hurt and we had both moved on to other relationships. Then a few years ago, when he was going through a divorce, he said he had never stopped thinking/caring about me, and over the past few years he really laid it on thick. We've seen each other a few times, but we live far away.
We were never in a committed relationship, but I recently found out this whole time he's been declaring his love for me, he's been seeing another woman, hiding the truth from both of us. I think he just used me for support while he was going through his divorce. He wants to continue being friends (?!?!?!) but I went NC. He sent me one text since his admission, but I ignored it.
My anger has subsided over the past few months since he finally was forced to tell me the truth (due to circumstances, he couldn't hide her anymore), but now I'm stuck in the denial thought loop of "How could someone I've known for over 20 years lie and mislead me like this? I'm his oldest friend!" I've read enough to know he doesn't think/feel like me, but when I look back, he never seemed truly narky til his divorce, when he went through a pretty big depression. How do I shift gears out of thinking "How could one of my oldest friends do this, how could he blatantly lie over and over to me, all the while telling I'm his one and only?" I feel so stuck!!! Are the steps that Lisa outlines I've seen people mention in her 2nd book? Would that be helpful getting past my denial?
are you sure he's a N?
Yes, I left a lot of details
makessensenow
Makessensenow
Thanks Winter....
You weren't support, you were
Spot on, Sparrow