1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. All About Him Forum
  5. Up and Down and All Around!

Up and Down and All Around!

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Sep 1 - 1PM
dazedandcnonfused
dazedandcnonfused's picture

Up and Down and All Around!

Yep that explains where I am at during week three of the silent treatment. My emotions are everywhere at the same time. I go from moments of clarity and feeling good about this. I then go into full panic overdrive and text him.
He is pretty firm in the NC.
Why cant I just let it go?
I miss him so much...or do I just miss the emotional rollercoaster of his games?
I want off of this and I cant turn my emotions off! I really wish I could but then I guess if I didnt have these emotions I would be considered a Narc...

Sep 1 - 4PM
prettypeeved
prettypeeved's picture

Meditation helps with the

Meditation helps with the emotions. And yoga. And therapy. And the most important thing, TIME. The longer you resist, the easier it gets. Time is a healer.
Sep 1 - 4PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Just do it.

Just do it. STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What are you really gaining by any of this?? NOTHING but pain. Did you go to the Doctor? I really thing you need medication. Hunter
Sep 1 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
dazedandcnonfused
dazedandcnonfused's picture

I went to yoga last night,

I went to yoga last night, and currently waiting for my accupuncture treatment. To be honest I really am scared ofany kind of new meds.
Sep 1 - 1PM
Caligirl
Caligirl's picture

dazedandconfused

When you feel the urge to text, do something to distract yourself. N/c, n/c, n/c. You are giving him supply. "Why can't I just let it go?" They're like a drug. Addiction. "Or do I just miss the emotional roller coaster of his games?" Bingo. Seriously, you probably do miss the pretend guy too, but the game playing keeps us hooked. Mine loved games (any kind of game, had a cabinet full and on his phone, board games, card games, dice games, multiple chess sets...) WORD GAMES, and we would banter back and forth and bicker. He set it up this way early on, saying it was great how we fight like siblings. It gets to be habit and pulls us in. We want to win, but we'll never win. Honestly, what would we win anyway? Mine ended in stalemate.
Sep 1 - 1PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

May I ask what you say in

May I ask what you say in your texts? He knows it’s ‘getting to you,’ because you’re texting. I would suggest not looking at silent treatment as the same as NC. You say…he has no problem with NC. But, NC for us, isn’t the same as silent treatment to a narc. Narcs view silent treatment as a means to punish victims. NC for us is a way to heal, find peace…etc. Someone here (I’m so bad with names today!) posted a most wonderful post in another thread about how she didn’t realize how peace ‘felt.’ I remember her saying how she felt a little alone, lonely…she didn’t know what to do with her time…and then she realized that what she was feeling was PEACE. LOL I really loved that. Right now you feel anxious. UNDERSTANDABLE. Know that is NORMAL. But, as time goes on and you don’t give in to texting …and you stay NC, you will find a peace that is hard to describe here. I have days where I am still angry that I allowed someone to hurt me, but that’s my demon to cope with. I still enjoy the peace that life without that jerk has brought me. You will too, if you keep at it, and give it time. See, you are texting…and he’s staying silent..and that keeps you on the roller coaster. Give this more time. And break NC down into bite size pieces. Take the rest of today, and stay NC. Then, tomorrow morning. Then, tomorrow afternoon. Pretty soon…you won’t be struggling with NC, it will be effortless. And know this. There is NOTHING that this man possesses that you need. NOTHING. Going NC will reveal that to you. He’s not a good person who values you. So, you have to value you. Stay strong. (((hugs)))
Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
dazedandcnonfused
dazedandcnonfused's picture

Thanks for responses

I feel psychotic sending him emails and texts and he doesnt respond. Why cant I just let it go. My texts are pretty lame as well usually one to two sentences telling him that I miss talking to him, that I am sorry...blah blah blah...its actually embarrassing to admit that I keep contacting him and he doesnt respond. I sent him an email this morning and hopefully this will be my last effort to him. I will come here and write instead of writing him. I will get over this. I am so angry that he found me! I am so angry that I let him back into my life. I am so hurt that I allowed myself to be in this situation. I am actually smarter than this! I just dont know how to make it stop! I get this rush and wave of panic knowing he isnt talking to me and it kills me.
Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I think for some of us, being

I think for some of us, being ignored and treated poorly, started when we were kids—in our family homes. If that’s the same for you dazed, then…this feels somewhat normal. Saying I’m sorry over and over…being ignored, etc. But, it’s not normal to be treated this way by a man. It’s not. Unless you truly hurt the guy, fine. But, you didn’t. HE HURT YOU! And you’re apologizing. That’s what narcissistic abuse is….and it mirrors a lot of what we grew up with. If that was true for you—that’s why you do this. If that wasn’t the case for you, either way…healing begins when we go NC. You know this, though. ;) You will get there. Promise yourself…no more emails and texts. He’s not worthy. I have been there…not with this recent narc. (although, I broke NC a few times, but different reasons) I was like you are with this guy, last summer with another narc. He would text and text…saying angry things…and then, bam. Nothing for days…weeks. Sadly, this happened again after I broke up with the recent narc. Let that guy back in my life as a friend, and he started all over again, and then went silent. I’m like…ffffuuuu! (I didn’t text that, but I am done done done…NC all the way, and believe me…he’s stunned. He was used to wandering back into my life…and calling the shots) So, yours sounds like narc #2 was. I dated a total of three in my life. I’m done! Lol Take care of yourself…and be true to you. ((hugs))