Alone in a coffee shop tonight

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#1 Oct 1 - 8PM

JordansMom

Alone in a coffee shop tonight

I'm sitting in a coffee shop and I see all of these men walk in and of course they are all married while my exN and new wife and our son are vacationing in Florida. She is uber rich and pregnant now and as much as I try to tell myself, 'he will do the same to her', I have a really hard time believing it bc she is so wealthy and they go on these elaborate trips constantly. Combined incomes, along with all of her family's money, and they are crazy rich and yet I can barely make my mortgage payment each month. My son cried last night and said he was sorry I could not afford to go on any trips and that I just work and go to school and have no fun. Geez :(
I have told the new wife about all the mutiple women he cheated on me with, the violence and all the lies. The only thing she has responded with is, "I'm sorry _____that happened to you but our dynamics are different."
She's right, they are different and he is being good to her.
He's a fireman and all of the friends call me, 'crazy-girl'.When we split had just had a miscarriage and he had toasted drinks with his friends about "the bullet he dodged" with me.
It's been two years since we split and I can't seem to meet anyone that is not married. Are there any men available anymore that are over 37? How do these people keep making out like bandits and we, who really do want to be good people, end up sitting in coffee shops alone, still heartbroken and shell shocked.

#2 Oct 1 - 8PM

helldweller

JordansMom

Oh my God. I am so very sorry for everything you've gone through. Are you new here? I'm sorry if I don't recognize your name. Gosh, my ex husband (not my narc) was a firefighter, and it was awful the high fiving male crap they did together. Don't take it personally; it's some freakish male bonding thing they do, and they are pigs, I'm sorry. I mean, a lot of them are wonderful men but a lot of them are just freaking pigs who take advantage of the nights away from home to sow their oats. I'm sorry. When I read what your son said I got tears in my eyes. I know how that feels. My daughters say the same things to me: I'm sorry Don didn't take you on vacation; I'm sorry he doesn't bring you flowers; I'm sorry he left us home on Christmas. It's awful, but you know our children have much better than they do. They know love. Real love. Yes, the new broad is right: the dynamic IS different. It's cold hearted dick and cold hearted bitch. He just didn't have that with you. It was cold hearted dick and warm, loving woman from normal world. Mine has all sorts of "female friends" that don't ask anything of him. If he wants to get away, he calls one up and goes over to her house to order pizza, drink and whatever. His foster child plays video games in the basement and they talk or screw or whatever to distract him from the fact that he can't commit. I'm sorry for my language; I don't swear out loud but I swear on here a lot. You know what? I am going to be 42 in a few days and I honestly don't know if I will ever be with someone again. I never thought that would be ok, and I'm still not sure if it will be ok if that happens. All I know is that tonight I don't have to literally lick the ass of a man who doesn't care about me, doesn't tell the truth about anything, doesn't care about anyone but himself. Certainly doesn't care about my children. I know he's in Las Vegas at the Bellagio in the finest suite they have for the next eight days. And you know what? After eight days he's gonna come home and still be a soul-less prick who can't even have a conversation with a woman. I think having coffee in a little coffee shop, alone with your beautiful heart tonight--not shredded to bits--is a great place to be.

#3 Oct 1 - 9PM (Reply to #2)

JordansMom

"I think having coffee in a

"I think having coffee in a little coffee shop, alone with your beautiful heart tonight--not shredded to bits--is a great place to be." Ha ha ha----yeh,you're right, it is a great place to be. Mine is a soul-less prick too! Well at least he was with me. I really don't ever want to be with him again but it would be nice for him to have some karma come back to him, actually if I could just make it to the 'who cares' stage, I would be okay with that too.

#4 Oct 1 - 9PM (Reply to #9)

almostlydia

you will, you will. i have

you will, you will. i have been so many times all alone in one place or another and it donned on me that it was alright, peaceful and at least without all that anxiety. I have rarely ever been without a man in my life so i am learning to relax. There is no greater bliss than being in love but that is not where we were by any means. It was absolute hell with a few fluffs of possibility. Stay strong. I'm impressed that you took yourself out to a coffee shop alone. That is progress. almostlydia

almostlydia

#5 Oct 1 - 9PM (Reply to #3)

helldweller

JordansMom

We are all trying to get there. I can't believe I am on my way there. I never thought I would ever even start moving towards it. These are the first few days we have really actually gone our separate ways on the level. It's scary and awful and sad, but it's way better than before.

#6 Oct 1 - 9PM (Reply to #4)

almostlydia

and Helldweller

I can only say Thank God, finally a breakthrough. It is tough going but survival is key. Always thinking about you. almostlydia

almostlydia

#7 Oct 1 - 9PM (Reply to #5)

helldweller

almostlydia

Dear girl, I could not be here without you. God bless you.

#8 Oct 1 - 9PM (Reply to #6)

almostlydia

helldweller

hey girl, its Oct you should be moving soon right? this is when you cut the cord for good. The opportunity to find yourself a new community of people that might actually be enlightening and good for you. Look for the possibilities of a better place, give yourself the chance to be open for them. Move on, girl. You have got to. almostlydia

almostlydia

#9 Oct 1 - 9PM (Reply to #7)

helldweller

almostlydia

Yes! The tenants are closing on their new place and I am packing every day!

#10 Oct 1 - 10PM (Reply to #8)

almostlydia

if only i could spell

if only i could spell hallejuha. almostlydia

almostlydia

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