Was my fiance a Covert Narc?

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#1 Sep 27 - 3PM
Bradford431
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Was my fiance a Covert Narc?

Hi all, this seems like a great community and I am hoping that maybe you will be able to help me make sense of a situation. Sorry if this is a long story, I will shorten it where possible.

In 3 days I was supposed to be marrying a man who I was with for 6 years, 2 of those being engaged. In February he very abruptly and cruel ended things. We shared an email and one day I got a google receipt for Tinder. That night I went home and confronted him, he got furious and told me how he had been planning on leaving me a letter and just not being there when I got home (I had come home a day early from a business trip). During the break up 'talk' he sat there and said horrible things. Some examples include 'I don't love you and I haven't in months', 'I am miserable in my life and you are the absolute reason.', 'You are going to be a horrible mother one day and are going to screw up your children.', 'you live in an alternative reality and are in complete denial about your issues.', 'I have no self-esteem and it is all because of you' etc. He, to this day, still says it is 100% my fault.
A bit of backstory. About a year and a half prior he had started residency and very quickly had a large mental breakdown. I was as supportive as I could be but he didn't seem to get better. He changed during that time and things were never the same. A few months later he had another breakdown. I know he went to therapy but he would not share with me what had happened. During this time I also started having anxiety issues because I was being forced to be the strong person while trying to single handedly plan a wedding (I had moved across the country away from family and friends for his residency). He constantly would tell me I had serious issues and that I needed to get help. Eventually we started going to coupled therapy. At one session he stated that he though I had border line personality disorder but the therapist disagreed and said that she felt I was just overwhelmed. One day I was crying about wedding stuff and feeling so alone and his response was to take me to the ER for psych. issues and actively tried to get me institutionalized. The doctors basically saw me and were like 'why are you here? You need a vacation not mental help' My ex still kept pushing the PBD on me and drove me to my breaking points (which helped him prove my 'instability'). He lacked any empathy. One time I was on the floor crying and he simply walked over me. Another time we were lying in bed and had been arguing. I was crying and asked him to hold me but his response was that '[I] was incapable of being loved until [I] learned how to act better'

Anyway, he ended things and then the real nastiness started. The day after he went on a date and 'unknowingly' had the receipt emailed to me, tried to evict me from my apartment, called the cops on me when I was crying in his car. Since then I have not heard a single thing. I believe he is a covert narc but am not sure (he always played the shy, introverted card but also viewed himself as above others). He has no friends and I very quick to push people out of his life.

I am doing quite well and know that leaving this abusive relationship is absolutely for the best but the lack of answer or compassion still get to me. Anyway, I am just curious to hear what people think. Do you think he is a covert narc? Sure he has the signs but I also have seen him sad and I know he was genuinely sad when his last relationship ended. Do you think I will ever get closure? Do you think he may at all regret or be remorseful for how everything happened?

Oct 5 - 12PM
Fearless
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Bradford431... thank you

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