Please help me

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#1 Dec 30 - 6PM
omgalso
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Please help me

In previous posts I have said that I miss my Narc and traditions etc. I think about him frequently in a longing sort of way at times during the day. Today, however, I had to run errands in his town eg dentist, bank, auto shop. I've had these people in place long before I met the Narc and refuse to give them up because of that jerk. Today I also had to go to the grocery store which is kitty-corner to his house. I could have called and stopped by, I could have stared at his place, I could have gone to the store and maybe run into him. I avoided the place.
Upon entering the town it was like a black cloud was over my head. Just thinking about going to the grocery store left me next to panic-y anxious. Since he lives so close I know that he goes over to the store as needed. When I'm in the town I'm always looking over my shoulder for fear of happening upon him. I did not want to see him because I don't want to be hurt like that anymore nor demeaned nor criticized.
If I'm so avoidant of him when the "opportunity" arises why do I have any of the longing feelings for him at all?
ps The store is a chain so I went to one in the next town.

Jan 3 - 9PM
omgalso
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To Lookforward

Jan 2 - 5PM
omgalso
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You're so right!

Jan 2 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
Lookforward
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Did you manage to get some

Jan 3 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
omgalso
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Yes, indeed

Jan 10 - 3AM (Reply to #5)
Lookforward
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Hi Omgalso,

Jan 16 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
omgalso
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You're so right Lookforward!

Jan 1 - 2AM
Lookforward
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Because your memory filters