moving forward

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#1 Aug 28 - 12AM
freedom4me2
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moving forward

I am still married to my narc husband, I have wanted to leave for years however, he has constantly threatened me with taking custody of our 2 boys, amongst other things to keep me in the marriage. I suffer from major depression, anxiety, and ADHD, and I have a history of Drug abuse. I have been clean and sober for 8 years now. Being married to him I think has contributed to my illness. There are days where I don't even get out of bed because I just can't deal with any of his bullshit anymore. He dosen't work. He is on permanent disability for permanent nerve damage that he has in his leg. While his injury is legitimate, he is able to do activities that he wants to do. However, when it comes to doing something like taking the kids to the theater, he suddenly can't go, and won't let us go without him. And this happens all the time. The kids suffer by never being able to do anything really because we are so limited by what he is willing to do. Anyway, to get to the purpose of this post.
My mother died a year ago last June, and she was the only person that I had in my life that really understood how my narc husband was, (she lived with us for a year and a half) she was my best friend and my confidant. It was always her wish that I would get away from him. But, he has kept me so dependant on him that leaving is not going to be easy. So I made a decision that I want to be happy, that I want to be independent of the control and of the abuse. And I really want it I can feel it deep down inside like i'm going to explode. So after not working as an LPN for 8 years, I got a job. I can't leave without money. I am so proud of myself for getting this job. I have never been happier working. After I got hired, the company informed me that i would have to go out of town for 5 weeks of training. He threw a fit, and wanted me to quit. But I didn't, I'm now on week 3 of training and things are going great!
For me the road to recovery may take a little longer, but, i WILL get there, slowly but surely. Baby steps....

Aug 30 - 5PM
ItsFinallytime
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That's really great,

Aug 28 - 3PM
Used
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Freedom4me