I saw him tonight

I took a break from this site, from dealing with my internal stuff about him. I saw friends, worked, got more interested in my old interests and then...
I sail, race to be exact. Our captain had us (crew) sailing only on Thursday nights and for regattas on the weekends. I knew my narc sailed Wed nights and he's in a class of boat that's below our class so we're not in direct competition. Cool! Two days ago our captain decided that we would sail also Wed nights. Still not in direct competition but we often pass them...and we did. He had his back to me pulling up the mainsail but there he was; the first contact in 6 months. My heart broke all over again.
I know it's me and not him. I've educated myself and gotten significant insights with Goldie's one on ones. I know that healing is a process but I just cannot knit my heart to my head. I want to stop the heartache. Just laying eyes on him was contact enough to stir it all up again. I used to sail on that boat with him; I know the crew; I know the captain and they're all good and fun people. I will see them again. The other crew is likely to call out to me if we are close at some point. Of course i will be polite to them and call back; they're not the problem. If he thinks I'm calling back to him then that's on him.
Goldie's group is one way to knit heart and head (I have not attended her group) but I'm wondering what you are doing individually.
I have no desire to contact him since it would lead to further emotional abuse to me. The heartache is horrible and that's what I'm asking about.
Any help is appreciated.