Friend dealing with Narc

3 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Sep 14 - 8AM
Alisa
Alisa's picture

Friend dealing with Narc

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this. My question is basically what to do when you realize a friend of yours is dating a Narc.

Here's the situation: B is a coworker and we are friends but haven't been friends for a really long time (so it's not like she's my best friend). She recently met this guy and even though everything was great between the two, I had a feeling he might be a Narc because there were many parallels to the guy I was with a few years ago who was a Narc. I thought about telling her about my experience with Narcs and to be careful but then I didn't for two reasons: first, what if I was wrong - I'd seem like a total psycho, and honestly I just had a feeling and no proof. Second, was it really any of my business?
So here's my first question: what would be the right thing to do in a situation like the one I described above?

Part two of the story: he now broke up with her totally out of the blue while things were great and of course she's devastated. I am now totally convinced he's a Narc (also because of how he broke up with her) and told her I had a weird feeling about him all along because he reminded me of my ex and that he might be a Narc. However, she does not really want to hear this, is totally falling apart and questioning everything (while she still thinks he was this fabulous guy). At least she's not blaming herself for the breakup. I think the idea that everything was a lie would pretty much kill her right now. To me it is clear that she was only supply for this guy but she still thinks it was the most wonderful time of her life and is completely devastated that he ended it like this (understandably)

I currently see her quite frequently at work and we talk but I don't know how to handle this really - when would be a good time to confront her with the reality that she was dating a Narc? Or is this something I should just keep to myself? I am so angry at this man (I finally got over my own Narc experience and it pisses me off that someone would take advantage of a friend of mine like this) and I kind of want her to be angry at him as well thinking she would heal more easily if she saw his true self. Or am I wrong?

I'd really appreciate suggestions on what to do, thanks.

Sep 15 - 5PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Alisa

Sep 22 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Alisa
Alisa's picture

Thanks for your reply - we