Downtrodden, hurt and completely bamboozled.

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#1 October 10, 2017 - 10:07am

Downtrodden, hurt and completely bamboozled.

Hi all,

I truly hope I'm in the correct area, I badly need some words of wisdom / advice.

I met my possible narc 20 months ago, pretty typical narc behaviour - I was bombarded with love and moved in very quickly. Since then things have been on a down ward spiral.

The most recent incident has me completely lost and speechless. I had arranged an appointment at a local salon for some botox (something he does not agree with, however in my opinion its my decision, I had mentioned that I may not be able to make the appointment, however after shifting work around I could) today I text him to let him know about this tomorrow, and was instantly cold shouldered and silenced.

I called at lunch to check everything was ok....just last night he had sent me a 3 page long love poem via text! He got extremely angry telling me I should work out whys he mad and then proceeded to hang up, he has since blocked me on all media and told me I am someone elses problem.

This example serves as a good one to illustrate the constant ups and downs..he has told me he wants all my clothing and other personal items removed from his home and wants nothing more to do with me. I have went from sheer numbness to constant crying this afternoon (which isn't helping my work schedule at all). I am speechless and feel like literally every other week I do something which is "unacceptable" in his eyes and results in all my stuff boxed up and me blocked from all media.

Last Friday he left me stranded in town with no phone in freezing temperatures because he "didn't like my attitude and I was coming across miserable" this to me was totally unfair, I had a cold, had just finished work but was trying my hardest to be jolly happy etc, things escalated and when I arrived home to the flat he restrained me by the neck leaving bruising etc. Again I was told it was my fault and I wouldn't set foot in this flat again.

Ashamed to say that when he starts his threats and boxes up my things I revert back to a child like frame of mind and it triggers my own abandonment issues, I am the one who ends up begging and pleading with HIM! This man is forty years old and literally performs like a minor.

Im at my wits end, I honestly can't even tell anymore who is wrong or right. I just feel I am walking on a tight rope waiting for my next 'failure / short comings' which will lead to all hell breaking lose! Ive no idea what to do, sat in floods of tears and it really feels like the worst feeling in the world, the one person who can build you up so easily can tear you down in an instant.

Please guys any input, similar stories or inspiration would be really appreciated.

Thanks Sandy

November 8, 2017 - 4:18pm

Get out now!

Hi Sandy

I’m sorry you’re going through all this heartache and feel like you are walking on a tightrope. I went through a similar experience with my narc in the last 18 months. I too got the lengthy poems of love and how I was his world to being called every demeaning name under the sun before the days of silent treatment kicked in. This pattern will repeat and repeat itself and perhaps escalate to violence as is what happened in my case. Don’t stay around to see if that happens. I stayed in the cycle too long which only makes it harder for you later on. My bags were continually packed and thrown out the door. These people don’t change and you certainly can’t change them. I kept going back because he made me think it was my fault and I thought if I only change for him he would stay with me. You’ll become someone you won’t recognise and you’ll be annoyed at yourself for trying to make it better when it will only get worse.

Silver1874

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