Beginning to share
Beginning to share
First off, I’d like to thank Lisa for Writing “It’s all about her”. I’ve been trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist for three years, and as I searched for online resources to help me cope with the emotions I was going through, the amount of articles written with the male attacker in mind was rather disheartening. My ex-girlfriend was well versed at twisting arguments in her favor, enabling her to play the role of the victim. When this was coupled with the over whelming number of articles that were written from the female perspective, the effectiveness of her gaslighting increased. So, thank you Lisa. Your book has helped me to regain some of my confidence in this situation.
As I said, I have been involved with a narcissist for the past three years. In that time I have been manipulated emotionally and financially. On multiple occasions I have attempted to cut ties only to have her reinitiate contact through, texting apps, email, social media, and third parties. Every time she has managed to wiggle back into my life and reek havoc. Out last stint began four months ago, and ended this past weekend. She had been working to convince me that she is trapped in her current relationship financially, and that as soon she could afford to live on her own we would be free to pick up where we left off. Last week she had told me she had met one of my ex’s from high school, through mutual friends. The two spoke of me, and my high school girlfriend contacted me to see how I have been. It was at that time I found out that they met because my narcissistic ex girlfriend was selling the engagement ring I had bought her. When I confronted her on this she immediately began to try and shift the focus of the conversation to me talking to an ex (of about 20 years), and then to her having to consult her before selling the ring. I steered the conversation back to the topic at hand each time. I didn’t have a problem with her selling it, if she needed the money, but given her history of lying or conveniently leaving out details, I didn’t appreciate finding out she was selling the engagement ring the way I did. She refused to understand my feelings, and her take away from the experience was that if she had sold it to a stranger I wouldn’t have found out. I immediately cut contact. Since then she had tried several time to contact me, using services for my special needs son for her reasoning.
I’m committed to maintaining no contact, but I know how hard that is without support. My friends and family don’t understand the grasp that a narcissist can have on a person. The lack of understand caused me to a bottle up a lot of what I experienced. I hoping that sharing this with you guys will help me to overcome my silence so I can begin to heal.