After 4-yrs. of a relationship with a Narcissist… I found ROCK BOTTOM… NC ‘IS’ the only way out!!!

I have been a member of this sight for 49 weeks and 2 days. Two weeks and 5 days short of ONE YEAR. In that year NOTHING has changed, because ” I “ chose not to change. I made several whole hearted attempts at NC, only to be wooed by the N’s predictable search for supply. I have ONLY myself to blame. I FINALLY know thee only way out is NO CONTACT.
THIS was my rock bottom…

And it came in ONE SINGLE SENTENCE….

“FreeMe, I love you, I believe we have a future together, but right now, If you want a relationship with me, you have to accept that I am with other women.” I didn’t think I heard him exactly right…. So I repeated it very, very s-l-o-w-l-y…
“Let me understand this N…. You are saying that other women are a given? And if I want any kind of relationship with you I have to accept you are sleeping and dating other people?”
“You’re kidding with me, right?” I asked.
“No Free, that is my truth”

All I could say was, “I raise my white flag…. I admit defeat… I am incapable of having a relationship with a man who wants to see other women. I wish you the best… Good bye.” CLICK!

I know I want to find my way forward. I know I will remain stuck forever if I do not change this now. He would use me for supply until the day I die.
This is no longer about him, it is about me. I have so much work to do on myself.

Today, I FINALLY believed I deserve BETTER than crumbs. I don’t deserve a man who is incapable of fidelity, honest and respect. I have made every excuse in the book as to why things are the way they are… He is a raging Narcissist. There is no question whatsoever…. Everything he says and does is proof. He will stay this way, I WILL CHANGE.

I know there is a lot of pain and sadness and grieving ahead. I have been here before. But, the pain of letting him go is nowhere nearly as painful as I feel having my heart beat up and stomped on day after day, month after month, year after year.

And it’s ALWAYS about one single subject: OTHER WOMEN!!!!!

I am DONE… Today was my turning point, and it all came down to one sentence…. Funny how life works. I already feel the power of my silence… HE DOES NOT DESERVE ME….
(I don’t think I’ve ever said that…)

I know I will be posting for days and weeks to come…. I can’t let myself down anymore. I thank all of you here for your support. I know I can’t do this alone…

FreeMe