Afraid to get out again...I need advice and help

About six years ago, I was dating a guy I met at a party, and we hit it off pretty good. One of the problems was that he lived in Detroit, and I lived 100 miles north of him. He is 13 years younger than me; which may or may not be part of the problem, but anyway he made me feel like I never had felt before, and I thought I'd never have to look again.

After eight months, there were times when the phone would ring, and he would go outside or in another room for long conversations; but without proof, I couldn't say he was cheating.

The bottom line of this affair was after a year and a half, I did find out he was seeing someone else, and he was making a fool of me and her (although it was her that he "really wanted) he said he didn't know and that he loved both of us; he told her that I was just some old girl friend he had broken up with and that I couldn't let him go.

He was a pussy, because when I knew he was choosing her over me, and I planned to go down there to retrieve my things; he begged me not to take my things, that he loved me and he needed time. What it turned out to be was three days later while I was at work, I tried calling him as I usually did, and couldn't get through.. (he was talking to her). So I left him a message to call me ASAP. When he did, I told him I'd had enough, and he just says OK.

So I still had to go there to get my stuff, and he wanted me to bring his stuff down to him (his real reason he didn't want me taking my stuff home; because I would have no reason to take his stuff to him, and he wouldn't have to waste a trip up to me).

He hurt me more than I ever thought I would be. I was so angry and hurt, and found it was really hard to let go of the hurt. I wrote letters so I could get the pain out of my system, and ripped them up; thinking this would work.

After 5 years, I have yet to let anyone in; except for a brief period where this guy I met ended up living with me, but it was mostly a platonic relationship. I deserved more than having some guy treat me like crap, and still want me to do stuff for him. I did finally break it off with that guy, but I seem to be stuck emotionally.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to date yet, or if I'm just still scared to trust someone again. I know I'm not the only women (or man) that has gone through this, but I need some sound advice.... HELP!!!

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