Advice:Might see N's coworkers/best friends next weekend

So I have been invited to a party for my good friend..She is cousins with the N's best friend/boss..He and the N's other coworker/friend are on the list as invited..Along with about 30 other people..So anyway,I have a hard time acting fake,like I'm not pissed,that i feel comfortable when I don't...
They work with the N everyday..anything I do or say will get back and i am afraid i won't be able to hold my tounge..
The correspondance that went on with his best friend/boss during our breakup/me catching him with OW was the Bf saying to me"he's busy," when I asked where he was on Fb..Then he said"just kidding,what's up"...He realized we have all been friends for 15 years and his usual"he's busy,disrespecting comment wouldn't really fly..So next up was me asking him what was up with the N's behavior..He was nice etc..saying"he still cares because he's been upset etc"....But then I found out through the N that the BF read the second email to the N..Anyway so i called him out on it...and he said"I do what I want,as does the (N)"....Total jerk move..Like he owns the N as his wingman and I am interfering..anyway..So within our fights the N said he reads my emails to them....And they said"what is wrong with her,doesn't she get it,etc etc..The N could be lying to try to pretend he has people in his corner..Because i was saying what my friends thought....
Anyhow,i'm just not thrilled with this party..had it only been the BF/boss...but his other coworker/friend..This will be the first time I will have seen them since it all went down..And mind you the BF's girlfriend is the person who set my N up with the OW....so if she is there too all bets are off and I'm just going to start yelling at someone probably..lol
I really don't want to miss my friend's party..The friends I know are all the BF's cousins..We are all intertwined....Any advice>>I know it's confusing....

shortway's picture

Well I recently go through going to a bar by his apartment and havingto stare at the apartment while drinking...maybe this is another step at staring fear in the face and not backing down..I am going to eventually probably have to see the N's best friend again he is family with my best friends...Maybe I won't be a coward like my N was running away and I'll stand tall and go with my head held high...we'll see..
shortway's picture

yeah maybe you are all right....maybe they won't even go..i'll have to ask my friend and see what she says the day of if they are going...
blueeyes's picture

Why torture yourself? I can't even walk into my MIL house and see his pictures, let alone OW best friends, backstabbers and Narc's? Please spare the sighting? Please be the bigger person and DO NOT GO. Plus, it's NC that makes you feel better. This is contact, no matter what. It's a drug remember? You need a fix and your gonna use the party. DON'T do it! It will be a relapse...You will feel worse.
shortway's picture

I know I definetly don't want to see these people....But it is one of my best friend's parties:(....I will have my good friend there by my side..But I am sure I will relapse..uggh..I missed her bday party last year because I was sick..I don't want her to take offense..I really like everyone else going....:(
Janet's picture

I would not go. Your friend will understand if she is a true friend. Peace. J

Peace. J

blueeyes's picture

It's a bad idea for your mental state. I'm telling you I can't even entertain friends or mutual people. EVER