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  5. 8 months post divorce -he has announced his engagement to our children

8 months post divorce -he has announced his engagement to our children

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#1 Feb 22 - 7PM
abreva
abreva's picture

8 months post divorce -he has announced his engagement to our children

He's a winner folks!

8 months ago was BEGGING me to return to the marriage.
Him: There's nobody else like you. I can't find anyone else like you.
Me: Have you been looking?
[I knew he had been looking online.]
[Caught. He laughs and looks around.]
Him: No, I mean, look around, there's no one else like you.

Blech.

------------------------------------

He announced his engagement to our children.
That poor victim.
I feel sorry for her.

I expect she is already pregnant.
As soon as they are married, and she is pregnant, the abuse will start.
My children will see it.
Reality.

-------------------------------------

What I can give them is:
a happy, healthy, loving mother.
Joy. Peace.
A warm and safe home.

Feb 24 - 6AM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

What took so long?

Eight months is such a long time for an N! Usually a replacement can be arranged within 32 hours. There's always a woman out there who is lonely & vunerable who will fall for the "instant" relationship.
Feb 24 - 4AM
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Abreva

Keep your dignity with the situation, vent on here..I am sure that situation hurts..dont show an ounce that you are bothered to him. Your attitude is great but if that slips you know you have supportive people here x x x
Feb 24 - 9AM (Reply to #9)
abreva
abreva's picture

24 hrs later

24 hrs later I am sick about it. Met with a friend yesterday and she was concerned about my children's emotional well-being. Yes. Very concerning. I regret having children with him. Clearly. My daughter says it's a June wedding. I knew it would be. I predicted it. My daughter will be the flower girl. Low Contact is exhausting. Literally exhausting. It's hard because my kids are away til Monday. It's always hard when they are away. I feel sick. So, I'll nurse my wounds all weekend. And pull myself together for my children. Life is hard. My children will come home physically and emotionally exhausted. He fought for custody to run me into the ground financially, and to punish me, and to try to get me to come back. He fought for custody to parade his kids around. He fought for custody to hand the children off to other people to raise -- other people besides their MOTHER. So bizarre. So unfair. Pretty much every night I get a sad phone call from my children -- much too late at night.
Feb 23 - 7AM
janemarie
janemarie's picture

I love your attitude!!!! That

I love your attitude!!!! That "poor girl" is right....and your children will figure him out eventually!! You are the winner here!!! Remember that! Never look back!! My heart feels for you! xoxo
Feb 22 - 9PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Ugh!! You get it.. Hunter

Ugh!! You get it.. Hunter
Feb 22 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
abreva
abreva's picture

Thank you, Hunter.

Thank you.
Feb 22 - 8PM
sexy72
sexy72's picture

Keep Counting your blessings!

I count my blessings everyday that I got out, even though at the time it was hard and I didn't want it to end. But looking back I now see that the stress was terrible to deal with everyday and the not knowing what was going on was an awful feeling to live with. We are so much better off and we can't feel sorry for those who come after us. They never believe us, ever!
Feb 22 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
abreva
abreva's picture

YES!

Blessings: 1. Thank God I'm not in that marriage anymore. 2. Thank God it's not me. 3. Thank God I am out. 4. Thank God I am free. 5. Thank God it is over. 6. Thank God I survived. 7. Thank God I made it out alive. 8. Thank God for everyone on here who writes and reads and corresponds. Blessings to everyone who is suffering, who is hoping to get out, who is planning to get out, who is on her way out. I PROMISE YOU THAT IT GETS BETTER. Hold On. Live through it. Get to the other side. I promise it is SANE over here.
Feb 22 - 7PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

I'm sorry Abreva. I too know

I'm sorry Abreva. I too know what that feels like. When I got my news, it was as if someone punched me in the stomach. It only lasted less than a day and I was fine afterwards. but the initial shock and hurt was something to be reckoned with thats for sure. I love your attitude. And your commitment to Motherhood, to your children. You rock!
Feb 22 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
abreva
abreva's picture

Thanks for your support, Sparrow

Thank you dear. I feel some extra energy surrounding the news. But, I fully expected it, and I had already processed the pain and disappointment well in advance. It actually feels like validation - because I knew I didn't matter to him. He proved it again and again. I knew that he would replace me asap. I told my friends he'd be remarried within a year -- and to expect a June wedding. I expect that he'll have about 3 more kids. He's into acquisitions. I'm curious how it will play out for me and my children. Should I be hopeful that it will be good news for us? He didn't call our children once or bother me via email all last week. Will a new wife and a new baby take up more time, and then he'll have less time for our children? Should I be concerned about the new wife messing with me? She seems just like me: soft and kind. She's young enough to have several kids (which was a requirement for him selecting her, I'm sure.) Part of why it doesn't hurt, the remarriage, is because he told me he would -- threatened to go find a new wife who would "be nice" to him. I thought to myself -- okay, you go do that.