It has been 6 weeks since I could no longer deny that I was dealing with an absolute narcissist. I hit the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back". I could no longer explain away or justify the way I was being treated. It took me two weeks after that to muster up the courage to delete every last spec of him. His emails, photos, gifts. Block his ass from contacting me online.
It's just so amazing to me how strong and happy I feel. How right it is to NOT have him in my life. How much of my own life and personal growth I missed out on because I gave him such high priority. Ten years with this selfish dysfunctional individual. Sometimes I am embarrassed for having bought into it for so long but then I flip it around and remember.........he's HISTORY. I wiped my hands of him.
Any and every good memory I had of him has been bleached out from the understanding that NONE of it was really about me or for me.
I know at some point, I will run into him. We do live in the same town. And when the time comes that I do run into him...what will feed me is this:
1. I abandoned HIM. And N's hate being abandoned. So....HA. I ended it MY way.
2. He is too much of a coward to ever approach me face to face....because he is completely aware that I am onto his NPD and labeled him as such. He knows he will get no 'understanding" or supply from me any further.
He has an ex-wife who he tortures with Narcissism. He has a another ex-wife who he tortures with Narcissism. I am free of him and I hope the other two women in his life someday wake up, find strength and break free as well. (Though here is one that had my eyes rolling: He bitched to me right before I 'vanished' that his 1st ExW keeps calling up crying that he will always be the love of her life. Vomit)
Anyway....this group has been a total god-send for me. Thank you :)