4th hoover in a week...I'm hurt and confused

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#1 Aug 28 - 1PM
boubou29
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4th hoover in a week...I'm hurt and confused

After receiving 3 hoovers in a week and a half where he describes me as dysfunctional and sadistic but still wants to meet with me, this is the last hoover I got:

"Still quiet. You must miss out on a lot of things in life with your haughty and stubborn attitude. In the end, you're the one punishing yourself. But that's your problem.
I told you I wouldn't insist so goodbye".

I was at work when I got this and I started crying. Why? Because I'm hurt that the man I so dearly loved has so little interest in me and how I feel. None of his hoovers were inviting, they were all about him.

Yet, I wonder. What if he is right? Maybe I am refusing to talk to him for the wrong reasons. Maybe I should give him a chance to tell me those things he needs to tell me so badly. I feel like the bad guy. Maybe it would help me understand myself better, see and realise things I didn't see.

It feels like he won again. Being NC with him feels like it's my way of getting his attention, my way of "playing" with him and getting back at him and now he's declared it's over. He said good bye. I know I should be happy about this but there is something in me that is still hurting and longing for him somehow. I'll be honest, I miss him but at the same I don't. I'm the happiest I've been in a year. I won't reply though however tempted I might me. There is absolutely NOTHING in it for me. I know it. His message shows how ill-intentioned he is. My mind is saying one thing and my heart another. Cognitive dissonance at work...again. Leave me alone, please.

Deep down, I still wonder about the part I played in this sordid love affair. I want to find out. I'm still doubting my sanity, my mental health and my ability to be in a healthy relationship where I can make my partner feel good and valued.

What's the point of that last message again? What if he was right?

Aug 29 - 1AM
boubou29
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Alright ladies, I blocked

Aug 29 - 12PM (Reply to #20)
mystwoman
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Good for you about blocking

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Aug 29 - 1PM (Reply to #22)
Janie53
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Mystwoman

Aug 29 - 12PM (Reply to #21)
spinning
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Ditto to this outstanding post,

spinning

Aug 29 - 8AM (Reply to #19)
Trixy
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Respect Boubou

Aug 29 - 7AM (Reply to #18)
Hunter
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Good job

Aug 28 - 10PM
fefe65
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Boubou29

Aug 29 - 1AM (Reply to #16)
boubou29
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His emails are not about love

Aug 28 - 9PM
tryingtorecover
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can you remember this...

Aug 28 - 8PM
Juliette
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two words:

Aug 28 - 8PM
thebigpayback
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you are still brainwashed by

Aug 29 - 1AM (Reply to #12)
boubou29
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I haven't replied to any of

Aug 28 - 7PM
Brit
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Have you researched Trauma

Aug 29 - 1AM (Reply to #10)
boubou29
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Thank you for your

Aug 28 - 6PM
ItsFinallytime
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This may not be a popular

Aug 28 - 5PM
Trixy
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you are doubting your sanity

Aug 28 - 4PM
lessonlearned
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oh boubou

Aug 28 - 3PM
spinning
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boubou, as mentioned

spinning

Aug 28 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
spinning
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boubou, dearheart, you do not

spinning

Aug 28 - 2PM
Goldie
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Support Group?

Aug 28 - 2PM
Laci423
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Nonsense boubou!

Aug 28 - 2PM
Hunter
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If he has ZERO acess to you