how could this happen..

So it starts 9 years ago I met a man on myspace after a divorce. we went on our first date and it was amazing Ruth Chris for dinner then took me out on the ocean on his jet skis. I was like this is the perfect date. I had a few drinks during dinner but being on the ocean had made me sick. He took me back to his house I threw up all night he just held my hair back rubbed my back and told me everythings ok. His voice is amazing we fell asleep with out any sexual encounter . The next morning I wake up to a girl screaming at us at the bottom of the bed. His girlfriend!! AT that point I knew he was to young for me and moved on but kept in contact a few times a year. 3 years ago I left yet another bad relationship which actually looks pretty good after what I have been through now. My Narc must have smelled it lol That year we dated but nothing serious because I wasn't sure if he had changed. But he had he had matured he was 9 years younger than me when we met he was 22 and I was 31 buy the time we got together he was 30 and I was 39. After a year of casual dating I entered a relationship with him. After 9 Months I found out he had been in a relationship with his publicist that lived in another state. he explained he needed her for his career she lived in another state so what did it matter what she thought he was with me. Well im a good person and made him call her and tell her the relationship part was over but they would remain working partners. She stuck around made my life hell via the net posting daily about team narc lol. I should have left then. I stayed because I had never loved anyone like this. I had never been loved like this as well. My Narc was overly catering to my needs anything I wanted I could have. After I found out about the publicist he professed his love to me for the first time. I thought it was real and I knew he hadn't seen the publicist in person so he couldn't have cheated right?? that night I cried told him I loved him too.. We moved in together the next month. I had everything I had always wanted I was in love had someone so inlove with me we were connected. But all of the sudden the sex was gone. What was once the most amazing sex ever was at best ok. It went from 2 times a day to one time a week to 2 times a month to 1 time a month to nothing. this killed my self esteem. but on the other hand he cuddled kissed and loved on me couldn't get enough of my affection. I was ok with this because I thought this was true love most men I was with had been with me for my looks never cared about my heart and all this guy cared about was my heart.. Must be love right?? we lived together for 10 months and I found out he was having a baby with someone else. I was devastated I kicked him out. I couldn't handle it I wanted to believe all the lies it wasn't his baby he slept with her once it was a mistake please forgive him. I physically could not function with out him at this point so I took him back. He did everything I asked every demand I had to make me feel better, Gave me a beautiful engagement ring but didn't ask me to marry me told me I deserved a better ring to be engaged this was just a love ring. we stayed together another 6 months and the girl that had been pregnant sent me a email. She said she had been in a relationship with him for four years they had planned the baby and he asked her to marry her. Sent me copies of the text messages. we spent 18 hour a day together everyday so I knew he wasn't driving up north 6 hours to see her so how could this be? He had told this girl he was going to jail for a year the month we moved in together, he left this girl in a cold way he never seen his baby and would not respond to her. she also lived 6 hours away from us. I was shocked and new at that point my relationship was not what it was! he told her he would never have anything to do with her or the baby if she contacted me and he didn't!! all the sudden someone I thought of as a whore I now felt bad for her. I knew he was a cold piece of work if he could just disregard his baby. I looked at him different after that email she sent me. he was so catering nice sweet how could he do this to people, I remember telling him I don't know who you are anymore and then all the sudden the evil came out. he grabbed my face and told me how much he hated me and he wish he could just go have sex with 100s of woman just to hurt me. I started crying and had a full blown panic attack. I had never had one before so I had no idea what was happening to me. After he cried he was so sorry he didn't mean it he needs help please stay by his side. About 3 more months went by he changed... No longer catering loving to me he was always busy with his career the sex had ended but yet he would tell me everyday he loved me but there was no more meaning. he called me at work one night said he was going to a friends house when I got off work something drove me to his office I do not remember driving there but when I pulled up his car was there and another one I unlocked the door because I had keys. he wanted to make me feel secure so he gave me keys to his office about a year before that. when I walked in he was just there I asked him why he was there and who's car was out front he said he didn't know and stopped by to do some work. I could feel someone else in there I started looking and found a female hiding under the desk.. She started screaming we are just friends so did he .. I looked at him and said we are over. He replied whatever bitch I don't need you. He went back to the house when he walked in I told him to leave or I would he begged and pleaded they were just friend and he knew I would freak out if I seen her there. That he lied but didn't cheat. I left walked around outside till 4 in the morning he kept calling and texting how much he loved me I didn't want to hear all the lies anymore. I responded at 4 am you gone he said yes . I went home to find he didn't take a thing. He sent a few text called a few times I haven't answered except when he text when cam I get my stuff I said asap that was 3 weeks ago and haven't heard from him since. I packed his stuff and as I did he text me I swear I didn't cheat . I said a small prayer that I put this relationship in gods hand lead me in the right direction. minutes later a piece of paper had fallen out of his pants I was packing. I opened it up and it was a receipt for condoms I knew that was my final sign and I was done. he is a aspiring artist. You would think he was a super star by the way he talks about himself. His whole carrier is built on lies this guy spend 15000 a month to put his videos up on popular sites to look like he is doing big things with his carrier when in reality he sucks and its all a façade. I was so supportive for so long I didn't care he sucked if making his dream come true was what made him happy I was going to support it..Now I know of 19 wemon. Im done looking Im ready to heal. There are so many details I left out but in a nut shell that's my story and even as I type it I think how could I be so stupid Thanks for listening