Im New here

Hi everyone I am Nicole and currently on week three out of a two year crazy heartbreaking traumatizing relationship I have ever been in. I'm sitting here with tears running down my face wondering how this could ever happen to me. Im in shock it wasn't until 3 days ago I was informed by my Ex boyfriends was diagnosed narcissist in 2006 . Well I didn't want to believe her but looked it up and ITS HIM!!! Everything!! I joked with him during out relationship the his confidence made him a narcissist with out truly knowing what I was saying. After reading the book im devastated that its not something I can change or fix. This book was him completely. I was a Madonna witch killed myself esteem. after a baby numerous cheating encounters lies I am left wondering who I am and where my bestfriend went. IM lonely and hurt. I kicked him out 3 weeks ago and have had no contact with him except the long sorry text I didn't respond. when he left he left all his stuff.. what should I do with it? Im heart broken