I'm back - and I never saw it coming

Good morning and Happy New Year!

I really thought I knew the signs after studying daily on this forum for almost two years. And I avoided dating, got a new job, met new friends. Then he came along .... Just mediocre looks, poured on the charm, ridiculous cheesy lines, and over the top gushing (plus extravagant flowers), and I never met his friends - not once in the 5 weeks we dated. We met online, and I was wary. Our kids met, they were the same age, it was perfect. Too perfect. He had to go out of town for a weekend on business (turns out it was his girlfriend's company party). But we spent Xmas together and New Years Eve. Then one night we were hanging out at his house watching a movie, and the doorbell rang at 9:30 pm. He acted surprised... he looked through the window and said "It's my ex girlfriend. She does this." A lightbulb went off in my head as I practically seethed "open the fucking door."

The door was locked, so she came in through the partially opened garage door. The one he must have opened after I had locked the front door earlier. He was expecting her because she had been texting and calling all day - and his phone had been on silent while he was with me. I truly never saw it coming, but I got out of there immediately, and then I sent her my phone number on FB. We talked for close to two hours. I gave her some resources to help her break the addiction... she's been going through this with him for 8 years.

I told her she was an angel for saving me and exposing the devil. But she really needs to help herself and break the cycle. I thought he was perfect for me, but he's less than scum. And I deserve so much better. The only time he didn't lie was when he said: I am way out of his league.

Some red flags that I ignored or explained away (NEVER ever ignore your gut!!):
1. He called me late one night and left a teary message. When I asked him about it the next day, he said he was just emotional from talking to his sister about her divorce. Reality: he had "broken up" with his other girlfriend that day, or at least they had a conversation about him wanting a "break."
2. He would go dark for many hours after sending me a loving text or message, like "please call, I just want to hear your voice."
3. I never met one of his friends. Not sure if he even has any. This is a HUGE red flag.
4. When I asked him why his online profile showed that he had been active in 24 hours, he said that he had gone online to make sure that his account was going to be closed and that he wasn't going to be billed anymore.
5. He took down photos that I had posted on his FB page (of the kids), and then changed his settings so that I couldn't post anything. When I asked him about it, he denied it.
6. The fact that he was all-in and over the top so quickly. He couldn't wait to tell me he loved me. Ugh. Ick. Makes me want to puke.

Thank you for everything, all the support and education. It was only a few weeks wasted from my life, but clearly I still have learning to do. I never shed a tear over him... and I am very glad that the other girlfriend is amenable to getting help. I wish all of these scumbags would get exposed and women would stop thinking we can change them.