Is She a Narcissist?

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#1 December 5, 2014 - 11:31am
Scott B.
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Is She a Narcissist?

I'm not too far gone yet because I haven't had sex with this woman - but it's fast approaching and I'm wondering about some things...

In a nutshell, she is a very classic type A personality. Retired at 48, but retains a full calendar of meetings, appointments, volunteer work, etc., She just can't stop nor stand having an empty calendar. Very goal driven. Is the life of the party, loves people, very extroverted and while seemingly interested in everyone she meets, is quite to tell everyone about herself, including how smart she is (and on and on and on). I tend to write it off as just having a big ego, which made her successful in business. Aren't many successful people that way?

Then, after having been very good friends for several months, we discussed our feelings, with mine towards her being love at this point. Turns out she has recently started a relationship with a new boyfriend, but feels that she may love me, too. Doesn't want to drop me, particularly as a friend. During this time she continues to act provocatively around me, all the while saying we're doing nothing wrong by holding hands or cuddling. And she claims that she isn't about to do anything in regard to sex or even kissing, as that would be "wrong." Seems to me a line has already been crossed and she enjoys it.

I did some research and all I can some up with is that she is what would be called a High Functioning Narcissist, and even then doesn't seem to have some of the common traits. I've seen no temper. No attempt to belittle or be jealous of others. Many papers I've read say there is a fine yet still healthy line between having a big ego and actually being a Narcissist. But it seems that line is a bit gray with her. She is still so focused on herself. No facebook, no plastic surgery, none of that, but plenty of hefty admiration for herself, and yet for me as well. She likes to talk about all the "great sex" she's had with past partners, but how she had to bread things off because they "weren't going anywhere." I look back at the last 10 months and see that in terms of what one of us has done for the other, I'm doing 90% of the work for maybe 10% of the benefit. We just seem to fit so good together in every sense.

Nobody's perfect, right? So isn't it possible she's not actually a Narcissist? Just has an inflated ego? Or does the nasty stuff only come out after the sex has begun? I don't know what to expect. If I'm misreading something I'd hate to miss out on a great relationship with this person, but there are just enough red flags here to cause me to come here and ask those who know better than me.

December 8, 2014 - 10:55pm
trouble
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my two cents

June 29, 2015 - 11:51pm (Reply to #34)
StrongasDandelion
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Exactly

December 9, 2014 - 7:54am (Reply to #30)
Hunter
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Trouble

December 9, 2014 - 3:38pm (Reply to #31)
Scott B.
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The reply about the

December 9, 2014 - 8:22pm (Reply to #32)
Goldie
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You are getting it

December 10, 2014 - 12:50pm (Reply to #33)
Scott B.
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Yes, because we don't want to

December 6, 2014 - 11:10am
Portia
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Devils Advocate

December 6, 2014 - 1:04pm (Reply to #26)
Scott B.
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Oh no, I have never pressured

December 6, 2014 - 4:18pm (Reply to #27)
Portia
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What is your 90/10 basis?

December 6, 2014 - 4:52pm (Reply to #28)
Scott B.
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Thank you for your comments.

December 6, 2014 - 6:47am
Pumpkin
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What do you see in the future?

Pumpkin

December 6, 2014 - 12:57pm (Reply to #24)
Scott B.
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That's a good point.

December 6, 2014 - 12:39pm (Reply to #23)
Goldie
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Love it Pumpkin

December 5, 2014 - 12:25pm
Goldie
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There is nothing in the literature to suggest that Narcissists

December 5, 2014 - 12:58pm (Reply to #2)
Scott B.
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She is reasonably well off

December 5, 2014 - 3:58pm (Reply to #3)
Hunter
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Oh brother, what's so special

December 5, 2014 - 4:22pm (Reply to #4)
Scott B.
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You may very well be right,

December 6, 2014 - 7:20am (Reply to #5)
Hunter
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So is she's

December 6, 2014 - 2:21pm (Reply to #6)
Scott B.
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Curious, who is the

December 6, 2014 - 4:50pm (Reply to #16)
Goldie
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What are we doing here?

December 6, 2014 - 4:56pm (Reply to #17)
Scott B.
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I want to know if I'm dealing

December 7, 2014 - 8:25am (Reply to #21)
Hunter
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I'm not a professional but

December 7, 2014 - 4:27am (Reply to #20)
Pumpkin
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Most

Pumpkin

December 6, 2014 - 5:01pm (Reply to #18)
Goldie
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I answered you

December 6, 2014 - 6:25pm (Reply to #19)
Scott B.
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Thank you.

December 6, 2014 - 3:32pm (Reply to #7)
Hunter
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Why are you focusing on

December 7, 2014 - 9:52am (Reply to #8)
Scott B.
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I appreciate all the

December 7, 2014 - 11:22am (Reply to #9)
Goldie
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Yes Scott

December 7, 2014 - 11:27am (Reply to #10)
Scott B.
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Thank you. My mind is made

December 7, 2014 - 1:56pm (Reply to #11)
Goldie
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You'll see

December 7, 2014 - 3:40pm (Reply to #12)
Scott B.
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You are correct.

December 8, 2014 - 10:19am (Reply to #13)
Hunter
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Goldie just told you her play

December 8, 2014 - 10:46am (Reply to #14)
Goldie
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I don't think you asking the questions

December 8, 2014 - 1:24pm (Reply to #15)
Scott B.
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Yes, I see this and said as