Now that we are divorcing after 27 years, you are blaming all of our problems on my childhood. My childhood did not cause you to do all the terrible, unethical, and immoral things you did during our marriage and are still doing. I worked through the effects of my childhood in my 20s and had an extremely successful CG career where I was ranked 1st everywhere I went and earned numerous awards and medals, made
E-6 in under 4 years, and earned the CG Achievement award as an E-5. The statement the Captain read at my retirement speaks to this. My evals speak to the fact that I make better every place I go. I have been very successful in many of my avocations. The sexism you spoke of was rampant in the CG when I enlisted in 1978 and continues to this day. Your own daughter had to file a complaint of sexism. When I was relad from the CG, my CG medical record was and is very, very thin and I only missed days due to injury, not illness. I have met and made many friends over the years who I still stay in contact with to include many who I went to high school and grammar school with. They will also state that I was well balanced and well liked and elected as Vice President of my Senior Class and stayed on the honor roll. None of them will make any statements that I was or am unbalanced. Then I met you. My hard earned happiness ended then. Your selfishness, emotional abuse, control and manipulation, and total lack of empathy, compassion, and care for my needs sent me into a very, very high functioning depressive state. You did that. You. During all those years I supported everything you did, created 16 lovely and comfortable homes, made beautiful holidays, cooked, cleaned, raised children, and was a strong member of each community while putting up with all your crap. I did home daycare, wrote business plans, sold baskets and Discovery Toys, worked as a temp, a substitute teacher, was involved with Chapels, Choirs, Spouses Orgs, was a Girl Scout leader, and was a CG Reservist for 16 years where I became one of 6 Reservist OS Senior Chiefs in the CG. All this with very, very few babysitters with you being away as often as you liked. To keep up your false image, you lied to me and lied to my family and manipulated us against each other. I have proof of this and what you did was evil. Now that I am away from you on a daily basis, I am making progress. If I were still with you, I would not be making progress. You do the math. You speak of me blaming you for my failures. The only real failure that I have had and have not recovered from on my own is marrying you. You have never recovered from your many, many failures because you never accept them, show true remorse, or make things right. Because you make no acceptance of your failures and have zero remorse, you more easily live on in your self-righteous state. It is harder for me because I have a heart and real emotions, can be in love and be attached, and mourn the death of what should have been but never was. For you to try to paint me in any other way than who I am and how I have been is merely you projecting yourself and your failings onto me. You are a very unhappy person who need people to fill your empty void. You seek admiration and adoration to give you the reassurance that you are number one and deserving of everything and will stop at nothing to fill your own selfish needs. This is without any regard to the affects your behavior have on those around you. Now, take out a large mirror and project into it because it is in that reflection that you will find the culprit and cause of your own misery and failings as a subhuman. Sadly, you most likely will die a lonely old man while I have been freed from you with no where to go but up, and I will go way up and find my wings and a flight to happiness.