God the anxiety
God the anxiety
I just had a look at her facebook through someone else's and there's a picture of her and her new girlfriend as the profile picture. I saw it on the way to work on my phone. My heart started to pound and I actually felt a sweat break out and I was driving.
She looks so happy and she's leaning back on her girlfriend. She has the very same look as she did in the photos that we had taken we we first met. But the smile is broader and more content.
I dont get it? She was a commitment phobic. I was the second girl she dated that lived abroad. The others before me and the other girl (that lived in my country too) she dumped as soon as she 'got' them. What is different about this girl? I have a feeling that she'll go on to marry her. Then it WAS me after all. I'm near to tears in and I am in work. I feel nauseous, literally.
The thoughts of her having sex with her is killing me.
Thank you all for the replies on my other post.
How do I do no contact? As in what method has got everyone through it? Does it mean that I block everything and everyone? I am distraught with pain. I loved her. It's not in my head or imagination, but I was nothing but kind, loving and good to her. Im a sensitive person and could never deal with people shouting and screaming at me. And she did all of that.
My fear is, this girl that she met is probably independent, doesn't take her sh*t, challenges her, hence is attractive to her. And here's me, I was too available, hugging her, showing her love and I get treated that way? To be honest, the photo of that girl she's with now, she looks like an abuser also. Rough, a shady look in her eye and MUCH older than her.
My mother said (after being married to my narcissistic, abusive father) "S, they move on, they relationship-hop, and they will NEVER see the face of the person they're with and they do not form emotional bonds. It's novelty they're after, not love".
Goldie, I've responded to your email, thank you :-)
Thank you Trixy also. Sorry I didnt get a chance to reply on my other thread.
When is this pain going to go away?